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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

12 June: It is the Feast Day of Saint Lee, patron of lives lived long and well. He is represented as a tall man, sometimes with the head of an afghan hound, standing before a field of stars.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

It is said Lou committed this error deliberately to prevent the Prince from accessing certain information. Details of what this was are sketchy, but the Librarians insisted that she be honoured and canonised. Even the Pope listens to Librarians if he knows what's good for him. 2/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

12th June is the Feast Day of Saint Lou the Archivist who was martyred by the Librarian Prince himself. She committed a grave cataloging error that drove the Prince into a rage and he ordered that she be “removed from circulation with extreme prejudice”. 1/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

11th June is the Feast Day of the Mud Lizard who must be appeased, but never witnessed.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

11 June: Feast of St Galthus, patron of steam engines. He ran the Pope’s private rail line and was generally considered to be a very nice fellow. His body was discovered to be incorruptible after death, and he was canonized, although some said the Pope just really liked trains.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

10th June: It is the Feast Day of Roses. There is a sweet scent in the air today, but beware the thorns of evening.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

9th June is the Feast Day of Lead. It would be best to avoid eating paint chips on this day, or indeed, on any day.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

Saint Sigrid is now the patron of those who seek peace against terrible odds. She is represented as either a haloed seal or a woman wearing a sealskin, with an orca fin in the background behind her. 3/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

Sigrid and the orca matriarch Sawtooth Ancient went together into the sea caverns under Echo Harbor. When they returned, Sigrid's pelt was white and Sawtooth Ancient was badly wounded. There was lasting peace between orcas and selkies, and neither spoke of what they had seen. 2/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

8 June: Feast of St Sigrid. She was the first known Selkie saint, and worked tirelessly to negotiate a truce with the Orca tribes. As orcas eat seals, these were difficult negotiations, but Sigrid said there was good in the heart of every being and that peace was possible. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

8 June—Feast Day of Three Mosquitoes. The origins of this festival are lost to antiquity, but it is believed to be lucky to be bitten by a mosquito on this day. This seems to be a particularly itchy sort of blessing, but far be it from me to question the rituals of good fortune.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

7th June is the Feast Day of the Lord of Magpies, which is not celebrated by those with wisdom.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast of St Maud the Exorcist, who cast out demons. She disdained the standard texts, preferring “Come on out of there. That’s no place for you, don’tcha know? And let’s not have any temper tantrums with the nasty goop. These nice people don’t want you here.”

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast Day of the Revolving Sloth.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast Day of Saint Chaski, patron of maps and mapmaking. He set out on foot to explore the entire world, a journey which lasted almost three days before he quit, complaining of blisters. Standards for sainthood were lower back then.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5 June: It was on this day in the eleventh century that Saint Heronius received his vision of the Lord in the form of a flaming yo-yo. His conversion was immediate, but his feast day falls instead upon the anniversary of his martyrdom at the hands of aggrieved citizens.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5 June: Feast of Lord Baurhooven, who argued that veneration is wasted on the dead, and ordered calendars which included his own feast day. He thoughtfully provided pamphlets asking “Where will you be on St Baurhooven’s Day?” and “St Baurhooven, a hero for our troubled times.”

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

(The pet octopus took a very special box and the body was rather ripe before it was ready.) She never had a pet of her own, but it was said the spirits of certain pets would stay with her until they were Absolutely Certain their humans would survive without them. 3/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

If the grieving family wished cremation, she would take the body back to her house and use the old kiln in her back yard. She lived on the edge of town for a reason. Saint Bloodsong also performed this sacred duty for travelers who lost dogs, cats, birds, pigs and pet fish. 2/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5th June: Feast Day of St Bloodsong, patron of Beloved Pets. She made it her mission to help families who lost their cats to old age or disease - a black flag tacked to the door was a signal for her and she would arrive with a hand-carved box, to either bury or hold ashes. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

4th June: Today is the Feast Day of the Black Unicorn. It’s very goth. Icons of the Black Unicorn are common on the folders of small schoolgirls and the worship of this quasi-deity is considered globally secure.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

4 June⁠—Feast Day of The Undaunted Saint. Their identity is unknown. When someone stands up against extraordinary physical odds, whether an angry bull or a battleship, they are said to be in the service of the Undaunted. Sadly this does not convey any particular protection.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Today is the Feast Day of Javelins. It has been recalled from the ecclesiastical calendar for safety reasons.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

As no city will admit to a licensed Thieves Guild, and no such guild speaks to the press, information is scarce and comes mainly from embedded sociologists. Even this is spotty, as they have a depressing tendency to give up sociology for a more lucrative life of crime. 2/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

2 June: Feast of the Idle Hand. In some cities, this was a day of rest, when pickpockets and burglars did not work. Or possibly the day was invented by the thieves to persuade the gullible to cease watching their pockets and to transfer large sums of money with minimal guards.1/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

2 June is the Feast of St Hill, patron of patent medicine and snake-oil salesmen. Represented with a snake’s head, holding up a haloed bottle. St. Hill is usually invoked ironically these days, and icons are occasionally tucked into shelves of homeopathic remedies as a form of mild civic vandalism.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

30 May—Feast of Beach Stones. On every beach there is a stone that contains its soul. Alchemists have paid great sums for the soul of even a small beach. When the stone is removed, the beach will die, silting and losing sand, but the soul of the place remains intact so long as the stone itself does.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

30 May is the Feast of St Burt, patron of those who teach small children to read. This task, while rewarding in the long-term, can also be frustrating, and St. Burt is invoked to grant patience to the teacher. Be kind to the followers of St. Burt and do not play Squeaky the Truck episodes at them.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

29 May is also the Feast Day of Anthracite. This form of coal does not much care if you worship it, and it has been suggested that this feast day is a cynical attempt by the coal-lobby to normalize the use of coal-fired plants.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

The moral of the story is that the middle of the pack is not always the safest place to be... and also that many children’s stories are quite grim..

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

29 May is the Feast Day of the Second Deer. There is a child’s story that three deer crossed a bridge, one by one. As the first deer crossed, a monster awoke. It came up in time for the second deer and snatched it away. The third deer then was able to cross in safety.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

I don't think I have ever had tequila. I would like to, sometime, entirely for Pastor Drom.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

Happy birthday! I hope you and your cat both had an excellent time.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

28 May is Pastor Drom’s birthday. It would not be out of character to celebrate this date with tequila, or by irritating someone close to you.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

28 May is the Feast of Anuk-Who-Raced-The-Sun, a hummingbird folk hero who flew so fast for five days and nights that the sun never set on her back. Depicted as a hummingbird haloed with the sun, sometimes hovering above a vanquished, bleeding crescent moon. She is the patron of those with jet-lag.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

The other nuns were extremely surprised, and there was some speculation that Megaera might have been, as the local parlance had it, “a wee bit touched.” She is the patron of those persecuted without the help of others.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

14 April was the Feast of St Megaera, who martyred herself believing that her fellow nuns were conspiring against her. “Dark gossip and darker plots abound,” she wrote in her diary, “and I will ascend to heaven without the others!” She then threw herself off the belltower and fell to her death.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 14/04/2025

14 April is the Feast Day of The Unspeakable Butter.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 14/04/2025

The Feast of Phlox falls on the second night of the Pink Moon, the first full moon of April, named for a broad number of April flowers. The first night is the Feast of Dianthus, called “pinks,” but when one attempts to speak of the Feast of Pinks in the Pink Moon, words begin to lose all meaning.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

Icons of St Brega usually show a half-human, half-owl figure, or a flying owl with a human face. Hagiographers today, suspect that she was most likely a hermit and a falconer, perhaps under a vow of silence. 3/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

A bishop chastised Offren for having not brought Brega to be baptized. “I do not know if she was happy among the owls,” said Offren, “but I could have offered her only death and the knowledge of good and evil. Eve made such a choice once. I have chosen differently.” 2/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

13 April—Feast Day of St. Brega, patron of owls. When St Offren fled her enemies (the first time) she encountered Brega in the wilds. Brega spoke no human tongue, but only the language of owls. She led Offren through the woods in the dark, guided by owl-light, and so escaped. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

11 April is the Feast of St Lerch, patron of wells. Lerch is invoked occasionally when going out to draw water, to ward off anything lurking near the well. Several small villages have children’s rhymes which may be rendered as “You got Lerch, you don’t need me, ghouls and ghosties leave me be”.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

11 April is the Feast Day of Lace. If you are not wearing lace today, you can be punched by strangers. Those are the rules.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 10/04/2025

10 April is the Feast Day of the Lenticular Cloud.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

9 April is the Feast Day of Saint Fabriano, patron of art supplies. St. Fabriano is invoked whenever the artist has found a truly wonderful tool, which is then promptly discontinued. A timely prayer to St. Fabriano is believed to be effective at locating quantities of these objects on clearance.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

"Un artichaut faisait des petits sauts Les salsifis valsaient sans bruit Et les choux-fleurs se dandinaient avec ardeur!" Oh, I love this.

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