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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

12 June: It is the Feast Day of Saint Lee, patron of lives lived long and well. He is represented as a tall man, sometimes with the head of an afghan hound, standing before a field of stars.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 12/06/2025

12th June is the Feast Day of Saint Lou the Archivist who was martyred by the Librarian Prince himself. She committed a grave cataloging error that drove the Prince into a rage and he ordered that she be “removed from circulation with extreme prejudice”. 1/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

11th June is the Feast Day of the Mud Lizard who must be appeased, but never witnessed.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

11 June: Feast of St Galthus, patron of steam engines. He ran the Pope’s private rail line and was generally considered to be a very nice fellow. His body was discovered to be incorruptible after death, and he was canonized, although some said the Pope just really liked trains.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

10th June: It is the Feast Day of Roses. There is a sweet scent in the air today, but beware the thorns of evening.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

9th June is the Feast Day of Lead. It would be best to avoid eating paint chips on this day, or indeed, on any day.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

8 June: Feast of St Sigrid. She was the first known Selkie saint, and worked tirelessly to negotiate a truce with the Orca tribes. As orcas eat seals, these were difficult negotiations, but Sigrid said there was good in the heart of every being and that peace was possible. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

8 June—Feast Day of Three Mosquitoes. The origins of this festival are lost to antiquity, but it is believed to be lucky to be bitten by a mosquito on this day. This seems to be a particularly itchy sort of blessing, but far be it from me to question the rituals of good fortune.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

7th June is the Feast Day of the Lord of Magpies, which is not celebrated by those with wisdom.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast of St Maud the Exorcist, who cast out demons. She disdained the standard texts, preferring “Come on out of there. That’s no place for you, don’tcha know? And let’s not have any temper tantrums with the nasty goop. These nice people don’t want you here.”

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast Day of the Revolving Sloth.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/06/2025

6th June is the Feast Day of Saint Chaski, patron of maps and mapmaking. He set out on foot to explore the entire world, a journey which lasted almost three days before he quit, complaining of blisters. Standards for sainthood were lower back then.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5 June: It was on this day in the eleventh century that Saint Heronius received his vision of the Lord in the form of a flaming yo-yo. His conversion was immediate, but his feast day falls instead upon the anniversary of his martyrdom at the hands of aggrieved citizens.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5 June: Feast of Lord Baurhooven, who argued that veneration is wasted on the dead, and ordered calendars which included his own feast day. He thoughtfully provided pamphlets asking “Where will you be on St Baurhooven’s Day?” and “St Baurhooven, a hero for our troubled times.”

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

5th June: Feast Day of St Bloodsong, patron of Beloved Pets. She made it her mission to help families who lost their cats to old age or disease - a black flag tacked to the door was a signal for her and she would arrive with a hand-carved box, to either bury or hold ashes. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

4th June: Today is the Feast Day of the Black Unicorn. It’s very goth. Icons of the Black Unicorn are common on the folders of small schoolgirls and the worship of this quasi-deity is considered globally secure.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

4 June⁠—Feast Day of The Undaunted Saint. Their identity is unknown. When someone stands up against extraordinary physical odds, whether an angry bull or a battleship, they are said to be in the service of the Undaunted. Sadly this does not convey any particular protection.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

Today is the Feast Day of Javelins. It has been recalled from the ecclesiastical calendar for safety reasons.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

2 June: Feast of the Idle Hand. In some cities, this was a day of rest, when pickpockets and burglars did not work. Or possibly the day was invented by the thieves to persuade the gullible to cease watching their pockets and to transfer large sums of money with minimal guards.1/2

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

2 June is the Feast of St Hill, patron of patent medicine and snake-oil salesmen. Represented with a snake’s head, holding up a haloed bottle. St. Hill is usually invoked ironically these days, and icons are occasionally tucked into shelves of homeopathic remedies as a form of mild civic vandalism.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

30 May—Feast of Beach Stones. On every beach there is a stone that contains its soul. Alchemists have paid great sums for the soul of even a small beach. When the stone is removed, the beach will die, silting and losing sand, but the soul of the place remains intact so long as the stone itself does.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

30 May is the Feast of St Burt, patron of those who teach small children to read. This task, while rewarding in the long-term, can also be frustrating, and St. Burt is invoked to grant patience to the teacher. Be kind to the followers of St. Burt and do not play Squeaky the Truck episodes at them.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

29 May is also the Feast Day of Anthracite. This form of coal does not much care if you worship it, and it has been suggested that this feast day is a cynical attempt by the coal-lobby to normalize the use of coal-fired plants.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

29 May is the Feast Day of the Second Deer. There is a child’s story that three deer crossed a bridge, one by one. As the first deer crossed, a monster awoke. It came up in time for the second deer and snatched it away. The third deer then was able to cross in safety.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

28 May is Pastor Drom’s birthday. It would not be out of character to celebrate this date with tequila, or by irritating someone close to you.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

28 May is the Feast of Anuk-Who-Raced-The-Sun, a hummingbird folk hero who flew so fast for five days and nights that the sun never set on her back. Depicted as a hummingbird haloed with the sun, sometimes hovering above a vanquished, bleeding crescent moon. She is the patron of those with jet-lag.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

14 April was the Feast of St Megaera, who martyred herself believing that her fellow nuns were conspiring against her. “Dark gossip and darker plots abound,” she wrote in her diary, “and I will ascend to heaven without the others!” She then threw herself off the belltower and fell to her death.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 14/04/2025

14 April is the Feast Day of The Unspeakable Butter.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 14/04/2025

The Feast of Phlox falls on the second night of the Pink Moon, the first full moon of April, named for a broad number of April flowers. The first night is the Feast of Dianthus, called “pinks,” but when one attempts to speak of the Feast of Pinks in the Pink Moon, words begin to lose all meaning.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

13 April—Feast Day of St. Brega, patron of owls. When St Offren fled her enemies (the first time) she encountered Brega in the wilds. Brega spoke no human tongue, but only the language of owls. She led Offren through the woods in the dark, guided by owl-light, and so escaped. 1/3

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

11 April is the Feast of St Lerch, patron of wells. Lerch is invoked occasionally when going out to draw water, to ward off anything lurking near the well. Several small villages have children’s rhymes which may be rendered as “You got Lerch, you don’t need me, ghouls and ghosties leave me be”.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

11 April is the Feast Day of Lace. If you are not wearing lace today, you can be punched by strangers. Those are the rules.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 10/04/2025

10 April is the Feast Day of the Lenticular Cloud.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

9 April is the Feast Day of Saint Fabriano, patron of art supplies. St. Fabriano is invoked whenever the artist has found a truly wonderful tool, which is then promptly discontinued. A timely prayer to St. Fabriano is believed to be effective at locating quantities of these objects on clearance.

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Reposted by The Hidden Almanac Feast Days

Lady Stardust @lizblackdog.bsky.social · 07/01/2025

I am once again listening to The Hidden Almanac. I can't think of any other piece of audio media that's simultaneously so soothing and so entertaining. I have listened to it so often I may secretly be a begonia. hiddenalmanac.com

hiddenalmanac.com

The Hidden Almanac

Interesting "Facts" every M-W-F

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

8 April was the Feast Day of Radishes. Legend says that after dark the spirits of radishes will rise from the earth and dance. They are benevolent, but it is wise to respect their privacy. So lamps are lit, that the radishes might see clearly for their dance, but the fields are avoided until dawn.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

It is almost the Feast Day of the Interstitial Moment, sometimes referred to, inaccurately, as the Feast Day of Silence. If one claps one’s hands, the space between claps is the moment in question. It has been described as the time that keeps all of time from happening at once.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 07/04/2025

7 April is the Feast of St Gilliam, patron of balloons. St Gilliam’s martyrdom involved a bicycle pump and is far too grisly to go into here. Representations are banned by many decency laws and most of the standards of good taste.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

6 April is the Feast of St Treagan, invoked to ward off famine. His miracles, confusingly, involved turning bread into stones. In the great marshes of Zann, he had no materials to build a church. The people brought him bread to eat, which he turned to stone, and himself ate frogs and crawfish.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 06/04/2025

It is the Feast Day of the Imperfect. Let us all be a little kinder to ourselves about our imperfections today.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 05/04/2025

April 5th is the Feast Day of Saint Guthrie of Mogden, patron saint of the village of Mogden, small hedgerows, and minnows.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

4 April: Feast of St Malkin of the Sands, patron of deserts. He lived in the sandy region near Troyzantium, built on ancient dunes and home to many rare species. Here, a spring rose when he was martyred. His miracles are largely apocryphal, but several plants of the sand hills are named for him.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

4 April is the Feast Day of Gray Devils. Those in the lower quarters of the City are advised to leave their offerings covered with cheesecloth to repel flies.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

3 April is also the Feast Day of Accordions. It is said that accordions are one of the four instruments of power, both great and terrible. Two others are the Bagpipes and the Mouth Harp, while the fourth has been lost to history.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

3 April is the Feast of St Bernard, patron of the elderly, specifically those who are more elderly than you and exasperatingly in better shape. He climbed the tallest peak in the Mountain Kingdom with young acolytes who collapsed from exhaustion, whereupon he carried them down.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 02/04/2025

2 April is the Feast of St Flounder, patron of mid-life changes. As the eye of the flounder migrates across its skull, so do we migrate through our lives. This saint is often portrayed lying on his side with both eyes on the left side of his head. It is unsettling and rarely favored in paintings.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

March 31 is the Feast Day of the Lord of Bells.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

30 March is the Feast Day of Dragons, which we remind you are fictional, or at least extinct. However, in the interests of keeping them wherever they currently are, and not descending in flame—it is considered fortuitous to pour out a few drops of kerosene mixed with rum on the doorstep today.

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The Hidden Almanac Feast Days @hiddenalmanac.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

It is the Feast Day of Saint Arnulf, patron of small objects made of twigs. If you find yourself making something out of twigs today, this is perfectly normal and not a sign of anything unfortunate. Relax and allow St. Arnulf to work through you.

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