iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 27/09/2026

Una selección de mis señales favoritas de este tarde en Madrid:

El reverso de una señal de cartón con algunas pegatinas, una con la cara de Ayuso con ojos dibujados como si fuera bizco

Una bandera enorme en el suelo en la Puerta del Sol pintada como un señal de calle en azulejos. Dice, si tocáis lo publico, tomaremos las calles

Una señal en una valla en la Puerta del Sol, con un dibujo de Carapolla. Dice, Almeida dimisión

Una bandera grande colgada en la Puerta del Sol, pintada con un cuadro famoso de Goya al fondo y el texto, Universidad publica

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 23/09/2026

You better believe I went and got my stupid little "I Voted" sticker, customized it and downloaded it and everything. I was a girl scout, I want my goddamn badge.

An "I Voted" Sticker for the 2026 Midterm US elections which specifies that I voted from Spain. BTW, Dirty Sanchez says "hola, cabrones."

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 20/09/2026

I was caught by the local press using my protest sign as a sunshade at the rally for Ceuta Migrants yesterday. (Photo by Davide Barbieri)

Photo of a person in a green tank top seen from the side, at a protest in the Plaza del Sol, Madrid. Their face is mostly obscured by a protest sign reading ¡Muros racistas, al norte-sur, No! They have a tattoo of a cardinal (the bird, not the church official) which identifies the person as little old me.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 18/09/2026

I just learned about the existence of this photo and am very pleased to share it with you all

John Waters and David Lynch shaking hands in front of a Big Boy statue

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 17/09/2026

¡LA TRAICIÓN DE CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE se lanzaaaaaaa! Si estás en Madrid esta noche y quieres un libro muy gay que te acelere el corazón para luego rompértelo, ven a verme a Librería Mary Read. #libros

La Traición de Christopher Marlowe, Hesse Phillips. 17 de septiembre a las 19h. Librería Mary Read, Calle del Marqués de Toca 3, Madrid

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 16/09/2026

That was from last month but I got a text from him this morning and he's still doing it.

Dad says, ".... I am we'll be in touch by phone in the next week or so, as we want to hear how your book-launch went. Dad"

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 16/09/2026

I know it's a big joke that old people sign their text messages, but I recently taught my dad how to use WhatsApp and he actually does this, no joke.

Screenshot of a WhatsApp exchange between my dad and me. Dad says, "Hesse: mom wants to get her new suitcase. Dad" and I reply "Okay, 1, you do not have to sign your name to texts" and then a bunch of laughing emojis

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 14/09/2026

Advertise your book* in two images: *The one I'm not done with yet.

Still from the film Sister Joan of the Angels. A nun in a white habit glibly says, is it my fault that I'm possessed by eight powerful demons?

Still from the film Multiple Maniacs by John Waters. Divine rolls her eyes and says, Yeah but they got puke eaters, lesbians, mental patients and stuff.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 14/09/2026

Okay I dithered about posting this on here as Bsky doesn't appear to dig videos, but please enjoy this stupid Instagram reel I made to promote my book launch in Madrid. (THREE days left to become perfectly fluent in Spanish 💀)

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 07/09/2026

Real footage of me trying to market my extremely dark book that will give you the sads in a market that favors happy stories:

Trent Reznor from Nine Inch Nails says into a microphone, How are you tonight? Having a good time? Ready to party? Have fun? Well that was the last guys. Wrong fucking band. We're here to have a bad time.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 02/09/2026

¡Ya esta aquí! Buscad LA TRAICIÓN DE CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE en vuestra librería de preferencia. Yo sé que Bluesky no es el sitio optimo para promocionar tu libro, pero hice este video con todas mis esfuerzas lingüísticas y, por Dios, voy a compartirlo.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 31/08/2026

While we're on the subject of imminent climate disaster, this is what one of the trails near our house looks like now. These used to be working farms. It's now black earth, twisted metal, and burnt trees.

An abandoned pasture which has been burnt, leaving blackened earth and stark metal stakes behind.

Close-up of a burnt tree, showing where the leaves turned black from the heat.

Entrance to an olive Grove, some of which is still green in the background. The foreground trees are burnt brown, the gate left open, a trailer lying on its side amongst the trees.

Looking over a stone wall which has been charred at a hillside littered in dead, beige colored leaves. The earth next to the wall is black in some places and ash-white in others. There's a rusted metal bucket in the ground which has been melted.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 28/08/2026

Put the vacuum on top of my sneakers and made a happy li'l cyclops penguin

Not sure what to add here. It's a vacuum sitting on top of a pair of sneakers. It resembles a one-eyed penguin wearing sneakers.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 27/08/2026

Tim Curry had a signature move throughout his career which I call "the bloom." His body opens, reaching for the sky or outwards s if to embrace. His voice rises, slowly, until his whole being seems to burst open like a flower. He used that move to full effect in RH. It signals joy. Hope. Becoming.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 12/08/2026

Come to the Outer Hebrides to see the eclipse, they said. 360° views of open sky, they said.

Our view of the eclipse from a remote Scottish island. We are standing on a football pitch looking up at a soupy grey sky through which light dimly glows, showing no trace of sun.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 10/08/2026

It's the utter doofiness of his expression that gives this ring its charm.

Close-up of the miniature portrait of Charles I from the image quote-posted below. He resembles a sad cartoon donkey, if that donkey had just been asked if he'd like free ice cream. It's the very beginning of a smile on his tiny wee mustachioed mouth, the big doe eyes, the rough morning hair - you just want to boop his little nose.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 07/08/2026

Well, we've left the fawn in the care of a wildlife rehab vet and a neighbor who has a fenced-in yard where he can be observed safely. Glad we got to him before the local hunters did.

A young roe deer with sprouting horns lies curled up in some dried grass not far from a burnt patch of turf. There's a bowl of water and another bowl of lettuce near his head. His eyes are closed and he looks exhausted.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 05/08/2026

I just went down to the trailhead and cried on two very nice, also devastated guys who were there to stop people from going on the trail, as it's still quite dangerous. The leaves on those trees crumble to dust in your hands. It's all dead.

View looking over a stone wall into a parcel of land which has been carbonized. A white house still stands to the left, and dead, charred oaks and cactuses on the hill to the right. It's almost sunset.

Looking to one side of the trailhead. Black earth littered with pallid, fallen leaves, the same leaves that are somehow still clinging to the burnt oaks in the foreground. There's some green left at the tops of the trees.

View from the trail parking-lot near our house, looking down a hill and across a road, towards distant mountains. The mountains glow umber in the fading light. The soil on the other side of the road stands out starkly black against a patch of grass and wildflowers growing in the foreground. A huge tree lies twisted and carbonized on the slope leading down to the road.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 05/08/2026

This is how close the fires came - the blackened earth ends maybe 15 feet up the hill from the boundary of our backyard. The trees closest to us are still green at the top but burnt halfway up the trunks. Everything above is burnt brown. There's nothing left. Row after row of dead, burnt trees.

Photo of the hill behind our backyard, an undeveloped lot with mainly oak trees growing on it. The ground the trees are standing in is burnt black all the way up the hill. In the foreground, some shrubs, a makeshift fence of chicken-wire and a set of stone steps mark the boundary of our backyard. The blackened earth ends maybe 15 feet up the hill from our fence.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 03/08/2026

*grabs you by the chin* LOOK AT THIS HAPPY FUCKING DOG. LOOK AT IT!

An extremely happy little dog sits in a hole she's dug herself on the dog beach, looking up and smiling, open-mouthed and covered in sand.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 29/07/2026

I know this guy is the least of all concerns with the fires right now, but if anything happened to him I will be BEREFT.

A standing dead tree in a field near a house with a gaping hole in the top of the trunk that looks like a muppet mouth. Someone has helpfully attached googly eyes so it clearly resembles the "manamana" guys from the beginning of the Muppet show.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 25/07/2026

It's looking extremely likely that the lovely little house in the mountains that our whole family has been renting together for the last two years is about to burn down tonight, and I feel horribly numb about it. Not just our house but possibly the whole village. The whole forest.

The view from a beauty-spot on our favorite walk in the woods, looking south towards the Tietar River Valley across rolling foothills and meadows. In the foreground, a horse and donkey are grazing in a field bordred by low stone walls, with low, cloud-like encina oaks shading the slope of the pasture. A sliver of vivid sunlight falls across the lap of the distant blue mountains. It is dusk. The forest is humming.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 23/07/2026

Mira mira mira mi librito tan bonito!

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 17/07/2026

Ya es oficial: LA TRAICIÓN DE CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE llega a España el 2 de septiembre 2026! 🥳

Portada de LA TRAICIÓN DE CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE de Hesse Phillips, con RBA Libros.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 09/07/2026

Oh well, keep scrolling, let'ssshoolllyyfuckingSHIT

A mannequin standing in the corner of a white room, next to a black window, wearing a pair of shorts and ratty blondish wig that looks as if it's been dragged through a puddle. The wig is BACKWARDS, meaning there's no face. Just ragged hair where the face ought to be, like some Japanese horror movie.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 09/07/2026

Today in "Surprisingly Unsettling Photos From My Vinted Feed":

A slightly blurry image of a leopard-print romper appearing to float in space in someone's back garden... except for a tiny set of hands holding it up at either hip. Look closer - there are no visible feet. Oh my God, where are the feet???

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 03/07/2026

We're... dealing with the heat

A greyhound lying upside-down in a grey armchair, paws in the air. Next to the chair a fan is blowing directly on her.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 02/07/2026

Doing my part by looking as gendery as possible in my UK ETA application photo

Me, looking gendery and extremely tired.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 25/06/2026

And the also iconic Bob Dylan poster. What a career!

A black silhouette of Bob Dylan with his curly hair rendered in swirls of psychedelic colour

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 19/06/2026

After fighting against the bald spot in my right eyebrow for years I've made the decision to embrace it and just get rid of the last few hairrrNOOOO OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE???

Close up selfie of my right eye and eyebrow, which now has a little bald stripe through it that sounded good on paper. My expression is duly appalled.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 18/06/2026

At the Reflecting Pool, and guys, this doesn't look right.

Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper on the deck of Quint's boat in Jaws, looking over his shoulder at the camera as the shark pops out of the water in front of him.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 15/06/2026

I'm starting to think I may have over-accessorized my bi bim bap

Photo of a yellow bowl completely overflowing with carrots, broccoli, shredded green onions, cilantro, kimchi, mushrooms, beef and cilantro with a fried egg on top. There's rice under there, but heck if you can see it. Gochuchang sauce is on the side. Damn was it good!

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 18/05/2026

Somebody just got a clean bill of health from her eye doctor! My baby's out of the cone for the first time in a month 😭

Rather blurry photo of a very happy greyhound standing in a vet's office.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 12/05/2026

Ozempic Ursula's making me hangry for Red Lobster.

A distressingly slimmed-down Ursula doll, identifiable as Ursula only because she has tentacles below the waist and a weird grey updo.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 07/05/2026

He would like everyone to know that he peed on the armchair and he feels really really bad about it.

Photo of a very apologetic looking terrier mutt gazing up at the camera. He is a fluffy boy, white with brown patches. His ears are flat back. It's impossible to be mad at him.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 05/05/2026

It's the opening salvo of this obvious scam email that really gets me. "Unless I have a brain disorder we haven't met before," sounds like exactly the kind of thing a robot would identify as "cute and personable," and only a human who had lost any ability to think for themselves would press SEND on.

Screenshot of a scam email impersonating a producer at Baltimore Public Radio, WYPR. The important bit is in the post. The rest of it is weirdly aggressive and repetitive and doesn't sound at all like a real person with real interest in working together.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 22/04/2026

This was a great day to fall in a hole while walking the dog and roll my ankle. 😫 Somehow I have to get this beast to the vet this afternoon for her eye checkup.

A greyhound curled up into a bread loaf position on a dog bed, looking rather miserable in her ginormous Cone of Shame after cataract surgery.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 16/04/2026

So, I can finally talk about the Exciting Thing I was vagueposting about last month: starting Monday night you can catch me, and many extremely talented and smart people *including* the wonderful @jerrybrotton.bsky.social on BBC3 Radio for The Death & Life of Christopher Marlowe!

Promotional poster for BBC Radio 3 and BBC Sounds' 12-part series, The Essay: The Death and Life of Christopher Marlowe, hosted and created by Jerry Brotton. Premiers Monday 20th April and runs Monday through Friday at 21:45 until 1st May. Image is of Professor Jerry Brotton standing in a tudor-esque interior, looking up at a portrait of Christopher Marlowe hanging on a wall.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 13/04/2026

My dog's cataract surgery went great - now the hard part of recovery starts. Everything would be 80% easier if Cones of Shame came in greyhound-size. This thing is intended to fit a horse, I think.

A sleepy greyhound curled up on an armchair while wearing a truly humongous cone of shame.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 30/03/2026

This is the view from my writing desk for the next few days. To judge from how this morning's been going, any writer who ever told you they'd be more productive at some quaint cabin in the mountains with a nice view was LYING.

Photo of a window with a balcony visible on the other side. Beyond the balcony a large pine tree looms up out of a froth of olive-tree leaves, with an even taller oak leaning in from the left. Beyond that are the roofs of white houses, and in the far distance, wooded mountains roll away towards a blue sky.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 29/03/2026

It's so windy in Spain today it's a legit struggle to breathe and walk upright. I feel like a mime.

The "It Fucken Wimdy" meme made famous on Tumblr, featuring a fox standing facing into a very strong wind on a snowy day, a nonplussed look on his face.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 27/03/2026

Today we're gonna find out whether our greyhound is a good candidate for cataract surgery. If this works out, this girl will see clearly again for the first time in years. 🤞🤞🤞

Photo of my greyhound curled up in a dog bed with our little dachshund mix, who is both her best friend and her baby. The dachshund mix is wearing a striped pajama and they are both gazing up at the camera with eyes full of love, and presumably longing for the treat I was holding.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 25/03/2026

Give us the Three Lives of Thomasina animated remake we clearly deserve you bastards

Movie poster for the Disney live action film, The Three Lives of Thomasina, about a cat who dies and goes to cat heaven and comes back. That's all I remember about it. I suppose there are some people in it too. Cat heaven sequence gave me nightmares.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 25/03/2026

The insidious thing about it is that, from a distance, these fake forests do look very pretty. But get up close and there's this eerie, uncanny sameness everywhere you look. It's the same tree. Over and over again. All the way to the vanishing-point. Same. Damn. Tree.

Pic I took in 2019 of a eucalyptus forest in Galicia. Ranks of identical trees disappearing into the distance. A few struggling ferns and native grasses on the ground. And silence. Not even birds like these forests.

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Hesse Phillips @hessephillips.com · 22/03/2026

I'm giving @anunlikelybrit.bsky.social one guess as to where my lady wife took me for my birfday tonight.

Photo of the interior of a theatre bathed in red light, which emanates from a giant sign over the stage that reads Kit Kat Klub. The audience are seated at small round Cafe tables.

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