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Helen Brooks

@hellsbells.bsky.social
2K followers 647 following 507 posts

Comedy writer: Naked Week and The Skewer BBC Radio 4, Breaking the News BBC iplayer, Noising Up BBC Radio Scotland

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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 6h
I grew a dahlia and it is FINALLY flowering
An apricot and pink dahlia flower
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... This article says the protest remained 'mostly peaceful', but also that 12 people were arrested. If I was on a night out in a space with 150 people and 12 of them were arrested for assault and affray, I would not think my night out had been peaceful
Extract from BBC article: 'Flares were set off and there were scuffles with police during the stand-off at a marina in the Hampshire town, involving about 150 anti-migrant demonstrators on Sunday.

Eleven men and one woman were arrested on suspicion of offences including assaulting police officers, affray and racially aggravated public order. All remain in custody.

The migrants were taken by coach to a processing centre in Kent.

It is the second known landing of large numbers of migrants this far west along the south coast in recent years.

A police cordon was in place on Haslar Road in Gosport, where the atmosphere at the protest mostly remained peaceful.'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
You're in her dms. I'm in her garden with my 2ft tromboncino. We are not the same
Woman with shoulder length hair and glasses in her fave autumn jumper holding a large obscenely shaped squashObscenely shaped squash drying on a rack in the sunny garden
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Autumn equinox (ish) sunrise
A beautiful sky in shade of dusky blue, with a blanket of pink and purple clouds and yellow sunlight on the horizon
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Pervy little duolingo owl says I have an epic chest
A message from duolingo saying 'you got an epic chest!'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Would you believe me if I told you this was a bat flying above the borlotti beans
A grainy blur above a vine of beans
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
So non-white people now have to show proof that they're 'acceptable' or they'll get violently mobbed?
screenshot from the article which says a councillor collected proof that the people were there to play cricket
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Went to Anglesey and this red squirrel was mad with me
Little squirrel nutkin kind of guy poking its head around a tree branch and looking pissed off
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Slow Sunday
A little snail slowly sliming along an iris leaf in the rain
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
Yeah I looked
Photo of the hazy sun glow and the reflection of the eclipse
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
Granny's Garden on my dad's PC when I was a kid. When that witch appeared on screen I would lose my tiny little 9 yr old mind
80s pc style image of a witch saying 'Ha! Now i've got you!'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
This is a tromboncino, an Italian summer squash that's a cross between Jon Bon Jovi and Dan Bongino
A leafy green plant growing up a wooden trellis, with a long thin courgette like fruit in the centre with a yellow flower on the end of it
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
Classic homegrown tomatoes to homemade bbq sauce pipeline
Bowl of red, yellow, green, orange, purple tomatoesPan of red, yellow, green, orange and purple tomatoes with garlic, chilli and gingerJar of bbq sauce on a wooden table
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
So what I could easily run a mile in 27 years
Headline reading 'Britain's Kerr breaks 27-year mile world record in London'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Here's my salvia viridia near Manchester, UK. I grew this from seed this year, in a newly renovated garden. I'm really proud of it and bees love it!
A salvia plant with green leaves and purple bracts
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Seems like every time we have a sunny day here now the moors go on fire again
Scene of the sun on hills and hedgerow with smoke billowing over the hill from a fire on the moors
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
All week I've been looking forward to lying down in this field
A golden field full of grasses and purple thistles (knapweed) with a hawthorn hedge in the background
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
OBSESSED with my lunchtime tomato haul
A wooden bowl filled with tomatoes of different shapes and colours
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 03/07/2026
LOOK I saw a leafcutter bee on my wild rose! This is my world cup, I would stay up till 5am to watch this but luckily I don't have to
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Hard to believe this when the guy on the top left is shamelessly giving a nazi salute
A news announcement saying no minions worked for hitler
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
One good thing about this hot hot hellscape is the tomatoes are starting to ripen
A vine of tomatoes on the plant, with the top ones orange and the lower ones green
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Doing my little solstice evening two days late because kids innit
Green and yellow beeswax candles lit in the foreground with an arch full of sweet peas in the background
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Lunch from the garden in the garden
A white plate of salad leaves with goat's cheese crostini, sprinkiled with broad beans, chilli, chives, garlic scapes and calendula petalsA bowl of strawberries with a dusting of sugar and a glass of elderflower cordial with mint leaves in it, both on a garden table in the sun
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
I saw Skunk Anansie last night and it was the BEST GIG I HAVE EVER BEEN TO
Two women with curly strawberry blonde hair and glasses smiling in front of an outdoor stageSkin from Skunk Anansie standing on a piece of music equipment with a microphone. It is all smoky around her
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
Vegetable growing is wild, these two pictures were taken just ONE MONTH apart
Small garden veg plot with two raised beds and a compost bin. The raised beds have a few little plants inThe same picture but now the raised beds are full to overflowing with delicious green
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
My friend just dropped a great new insult, feel free to use on your enemies
Screenshot of a whatsapp message saying 'you can put lemongrass in your water butt'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
Fun summer prank idea: piss in a bottle and tell everyone you've made elderflower cordial
5 bottles of actual elderflower cordial I really did actually make that sadly does look like piss
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 21/05/2026
Made a lovely little side salad from the garden
Small bowl filled with different salad leaves: red and green lettuce, red mustard, nasturtium, hawthorn, parsley plus purple and yellow viola flowers
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 11/05/2026
I made a zine for my local launderette! Did anyone ask for this? No. Do I think any launderette customers will read it? Also no. Will they draw offensive graffiti on it? Almost certainly. But I LOVE IT and making it made me laugh so objective achieved
Zine front cover. It is called Spin Cycle and has a lino printed washing machine A deeply silly launderette lonely hearts pageLaundry in the charts page featuring Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
First chilli flower of the season and bonus points - it's purple!
Jungly looking bright green foliage in background, a small delicate purple chilli flower in the foreground
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
Yes my back hurts, thanks for asking
Woman in green jumper and old England cricket baseball cap working on a laptop in the garden with a tabby cat curled up asleep in her arms.
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 02/03/2026
Had to
The 'And Tiny Tim, who did NOT die' still from Muppets Christmas Carol, modified to say 'And the element of concern, who was NOT new'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 06/02/2026
I started lino printing last month, just for the sake of being creative. These are the two most recent prints I've done and I'm proud of them both! Trees because I like them and a washing machine because I go to the launderette a lot and I find it inspiring in a way I can't explain
Lino print of birch treesLino print of a washing machine
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
I made this! My journey into lino printing continues with this birch forest
Lino printed birch tree trunks
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 18/01/2026
Took this blurry photo of Cwfen last night, my FAVE BAND OF ALL TIME since I first heard them 6 months ago Also got this rad t shirt If you like doomgazey gothy witchy metal you absolutely need to check these guys out
Blurry photo of Cwfen, a four piece band from Glasgow. The lead singer is in the middle, a woman with long black hair and goth style make up. Also in the photo are two guitarists. The drummer wasn't in shot sadlyBlack band t shirt that says Cwfen on in goth style writing. The image on the t shirt is a white forest with a woman figure walking in the distance into a bright shining light, maybe the moon
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 02/01/2026
Walked from the setting of the moon to the rising of the sun
The full moon reflected in a lakePink sunriseThe full sun peeping over the hilltop
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
2025
An image of text that says:

I had loads of great times in 2025 but it’s impossible to look back on the year without bumping into the fact that my dad died in August (on my birthday thanks dad) and that has coloured everything since then. I am aware of how unpalatable it is to continually talk about it, but in every conversation or interaction I am suppressing the want to say ‘hey did you remember my dad died?’ ‘yes I would like a bag and also my dad died’ ‘wow well done on your promotion! but how about MY DAD DIED’ I am filled with burning anger and disbelief and it’s very unbecoming and not conducive to nice drinks with friends or watching a film with my boyfriend or going ice skating with my children. I am all the time trying to remember all the parts of me and pull them all back into my orbit but I think maybe it’s all different now? And my goal for 2026 is just to see where things land and continue to be so so grateful for my people and my health and my ability to find joy in a nice scone, or in singing along to a record with the candles lit while it’s raining outside, or in growing tomatoes. So I will plant the seeds and light the candles even while the rain lashes the windows because I know the weather will change.
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
I just tried lino cut printing for the first time! Lots to learn obvs but chuffed with this effort
A rough and ready snowflake printed in dark brown ink on brown paper
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
I wrote my first ever flash fiction! Entered the @welkinprize.bsky.social just under the wire and got this awesome badge to show for it
A sky blue circular badge with stars on in shades of blue and grey, saying The Welkin Writing Prize, Supernova of Scribbling
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
This afternoon I chopped all this honeysuckle wood for kindling using a blunt saw of unknown provenance and it made me very happy
A square fire basket filled with lengths of twisted honeysuckle wood
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 25/12/2025
Merry Christmas! Just finished icing our cake in the traditional '80s grandma' style
Christmas cake covered with white Roy icing in 'stiff peaks', topped with small 80s style santa, reindeer and snowman
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 24/12/2025
Up on the moors this morning for a Christmas eve sunrise
Purply pink clouds over moorland hills, with a wire fence in the foregroundSweeping moorland view with a candyfloss sky
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 20/12/2025
'Made' a yule log to burn tonight in celebration of the solstice this weekend
A small cylinder of untreated wood, wrapped with jute twine with small branches of pine, Holly and hawthorn woven in
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 16/12/2025
My soup DID turn out really good! I made it with the first squash I've ever grown, plus kale and chard from the garden (still growing in December!) and chilli grown in the summer and it felt very lovely to be eating so much homegrown produce in the deep winter. Photo of my squash, my pride and joy
Winter squash 'little dumpling' cut in half and full of seeds for next year
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Two variations on a knee hook Two variations on back-of-the-knee bruises
I am doing a pole dance move called arrowI am doing a pole dance move called marley
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Winter is hard but it does have skies like this
light blue and grey and pink and purple winter morning sky
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 10/12/2025
My little guinea pig Cinnamon Buns is very old and very ill :( he's always been a real oi oi lads lads lads sort of guinea pig so it's v sad to see him so poorly
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
'We'd better keep letting the men have all the jobs and all the qualifications otherwise they might do a facism. This is progressive'
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 03/12/2025
I like what I like and what I like is epic doom metal There's nothing like spotify wrapped for showcasing an autistic special interest
My spotify wrapped heavily featuring Scottish doom metal band Cwfen
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Helen Brooks @hellsbells.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
Your girl went to the beach
A castle on the beach in the sunsetMe on the beach in the sunset, well wrapped up against the cold
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