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Helena

@hellalena.bsky.social
116 followers 251 following 1.1K posts
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 3h
The Swan Boy ARG is getting really out of hand
A snip from a news article about a Carrabba's Italian Grill catching fire.  No one was hurt.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Sidewalks? What are those? (Pictured is in Lexington KY next to an extremely busy road - the green sign is what's indicating it's a bus stop)
A bus stop in Lexington, Kentucky, featuring a huge puddle, no sidewalk, no shelter, next to a very busy road.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Why are they like this
The epic handshake meme with two muscular arms clasping.  Left is kroger.com, right is lowes.com and the middle text says "waiting until you've typed a search query before reloading the page for no reason"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Best Buy has a display of the pervert glasses if you want to get an idea of what they look like in the wild. Since the lizard that runs Meta won't do anything maybe pressuring Ray-Ban and Oakley will help? Funny that they show a woman wearing them instead of, like, Peter Lorre in M.
A display in a Best Buy showing the Meta glasses that are available
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
Don't get me wrong - I love the sharp angles and dread, but - the new Cleveland Browns stadium looks like they decided to lean in on the "Sadness Factory" moniker.
A small mockup of the design for the new Cleveland Browns stadium.  It's nearly all black with some glass and very angular.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
A chewy ad for livestock castration bands.  The caption says "Never run out of what they love."
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 12/08/2026
When the urge to start spring cleaning hits over halfway through summer
The pokemon slowpoke
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
Sim Blake Nelson
a photo of actor Tim Blake Nelson with a green, crystalline shape called a plumbob from the game The Sims hovering over his head
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Nice
a screenshot showing a post has 69 likes
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Branson draws a lot of hot chicks in his comic but the panda might be the hottest yet. I'm neither gay nor a furry, it's just true.
A panel from a webcomic named "swan boy" showing an anthropomorphic panda Hooter's waitress firing a shotgun
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I see a lot of people freaking out because they find beetles in their bed and assume the worst. Here's a helpful guide to ease your mind! Not every bug in a bed is a bed bug!
A sloppy diagram showing the body differences between beetles and bedbugs.  Beetles have hard wing cases while bedbugs have no wings at all and horizontal lines across their bodies.  It also notes that beetles are a danger to food, wood and linens but not people.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
I appreciate the heads up about this job but I cannot work for a company whose name I will always read as CUMSOUTH
A snapshot of an email subject line that says "Collections specialist at CU*SOUTH, INC."
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Cash before we adopted him: a calm, quiet gentleman Cash after we adopted him (sound on please):
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Y'all, the tar pit museum in LA is going to be closed for two years. We can finally break in and reunite that poor mammoth with its family.
A photo of some sculptures outside the page museum at the la brea tar pits in los angeles, california.  A mammoth is sinking into the tar while its offspring and mate watch helplessly.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
This is me ranting to people about how underappreciated Speed Racer (2008) is
An image used in memes showing a young woman talking into the ear of a young man who is clearly uninterested
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Thundershirts are great if you have an anxious pet, but when you get the default grey I swear it makes it look like your pet serves The Galactic Empire. (Not my pets pictured, I just don't have a good pic of Bluto wearing it)
A dog, possibly a shetland sheepdog, wearing a grey thundershirt - a sort of constricting vest that comforts anxious animalsA grey and black tabby cat wearing a grey thundershirt - a sort of constricting vest that comforts anxious animals
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
A crop of the alien vs predator movie poster showing both their faces and the tagline that says "whoever wins... We lose."
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
My phone had some very interesting suggestions when I typed out "greebles"
A cell phone's suggestions for correcting the word greebles that includes the phrase "free lesbian"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
EVERY time, when my phone is being glacially slow so I toggle airplane mode to reconnect it
The good place cactus meme, but LTE is being offered when 5G is promised.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Me before vacation / me after vacation
A screenshot from Arrested Development of Michael Cera's character face down on the floor.A screenshot from Arrested Development of Michael Cera's character face down on the floor, except in this case he's wearing a hat and shirt that say FUN PLACE and holding a flag that says FUN PLACE
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
Can anyone beat my score here?
A screenshot that shows I have 1,845 photos of my dog, whose name is ham gravy, a pitbull mix that's mostly white with some black spots
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 28/05/2026
How it sounds when both my husband and I are tapping away at our mechanical keyboards at the same time
Two skeletons dressed up like mobsters and holding machine guns
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
Not fully convinced our new dog is even real
A big yellow dog looking up and pouting
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 22/05/2026
I got the dogs an extra sturdy tug of war toy and this is how this dipshit grabs it every time
A dog with his jaws on either side of the middle of a figure 8 shaped rubber toy
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 20/05/2026
Nobody warned me I'd start having Purse Tweezers to do Car Tweezing after a certain age.
Iceberg meme.  The small bit sticking out of the water says "THAT ONE LITTLE PRICKLY BIT" and the lower mass says "THE REST OF THE HAIR"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
If you see this post your getaway vehicle
The box for Kenner toys' daddy saddle, a small saddle that lets children ride their dads around.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 19/05/2026
My cupboard has a creepy little guy in it
Knots in wood that look like a scrunched up cartoon animal face
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 17/05/2026
Plecostamos
A low quality edit of the body of a plecostomus fish with the head of actor John Stamos attached
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Why is the McDonald's flag at 3/4 mast? Is someone important just really sick or something
A McDonald's sign next to a slightly lowered American flag
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Botanical gardens too expensive or far away? Just go someplace selling plants! When they see you staring real hard at the plants they think you're just mulling over adding them to your garden - they don't know you're actually trying to alleviate your depression and anxiety for free!
Photos of various flowers from the garden section at a Lowe's
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 06/05/2026
Kroger I swear to god you need to calm the fuck down on these soda sales
A kroger sale graphic saying "buy 3 get 3 free, limit 12 packages"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
Do not insult me with "by 9 PM" we know that probably means yet another day is getting tacked on
The anakin padme meme: panel 1 "your package is going to arrive a day later than promises" panel 2 "okay, but it'll arrive first thing in the morning, right?" panel 3 is just anakin staring.  panel 4: "...right?"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 29/04/2026
If you like radishes you should really try your hand at growing them. I planted these a month ago! I let them be crowded since I'm mostly growing them for seed pods and it doesn't seem to have put them off in the slightest
A nearly mature radish peeking out of the ground, obscured by leaves.A nearly mature radish peeking out of the ground, obscured by leaves.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
Puzzmo, to Cube Clear and Ribbit:
A screenshot of Mace Windu from Star Wars with the quote "You are on this council but we do not grant you the rank of master"
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
Shit. I posted this assuming I had posted the original but I had not
A white dog with a black patch over one eye with a stock photo Galaxy in the background
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 11/04/2026
The latest in me pasting my dog on top of stock photo backgrounds
A white dog with a black patch over one eye in front of a stock photo desert background
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
To their credit, they admit it... in the description down below the "add to cart" button. It's Eden Brothers, which is a really funny name because I know two brothers who were born shortly after Eden and it didn't work out for them.
A snip that reads as follows: Kentucky is home to hundreds of wildflower species, some of which are native to the state and others that have adapted well to the local conditions. Our Kentucky Wildflower Seed Mix contains 24 different varieties of native and non-native species that thrive in the Bluegrass State. Kentucky wildflowers can be found in various habitats, such as moist woodlands, river bottoms, meadows, and roadsides, and you now have an opportunity to include them in your slice of the landscape. This mix contains 70% annuals and 30% perennials, including native species bachelor buttons, coneflowers, and phlox.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 08/04/2026
This is so shady. Saw an ad for "Kentucky Wildflowers" and clicked it out of curiosity. It's species that are wild, sure... in other parts of the world and the US that *CAN* grow well in Kentucky. They know damn well that people searching for "Kentucky Wildflowers" aren't looking for this shit.
A misleading ad for wildflowers listing many that are native to neither kentucky nor the US.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Kentucky is just one big ancient graveyard.
A gloved hand holding a piece of fossiliferous limestone. Some fossils of clams or similar mollusks are visible.A gloved hand holding a piece of fossiliferous limestone at a different angle.  Some fossils of clams or similar mollusks are visible.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 04/04/2026
If you fall down rabbit holes enough that you encounter antique stereogram cards, and you're capable of doing cross-eye stereograms (where crossing your eyes makes 4 images and you overlap the middle 2), here's a quick and dirty guide to converting them as well as a finished example!
a crude drawing conveying that you should manually switch the positions of the left and right panels on a stereogram rather than just mirroring or flippingan image from wikipedia captioned as Stereo card depicting children in front of the C.M. Wiley House, c. 1880
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 03/04/2026
Lesson learned, I'm never dropping Bluto off at the doggie daycare in Kurouzu-cho ever again
A brindle colored dog sleeping on a dog bed, forming a near perfect circle shape with his curled up body.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 30/03/2026
Having researched washed up celebrities I have knocked out a quick visual interpretation of the data
A line chart showing a celebrity's level of conservatism rising as the calls from their agent drop
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
It's been ages so I relearned some things that will make for a better one next time, but I ran the dough cycle on my bread machine and finished it in the oven. 50/50 egg and water wash to get that nice brown top (I missed some spots)
A loaf of fresh baked breadA loaf of bread cut open to show the crumb
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
How I feel coming out of a massage all oiled up
A screenshot from the show Always Sunny in Philadelphia showing Frank Reynolds covered in hand sanitizer
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
I searched my local chain grocery store for "mock duck."
A plush toy that's a blend between a highland cow and a duck.  Basically a highland cow but with no legs and a duck's bill.
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 06/03/2026
There's always one in every group that's like "let's go, right now!!". (Sorry for shaky cam!)
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
An edited arrested development meme.  Lucille Bluth saying, in the top frame, "If you're saying I play favorites, you're wrong.  I love all animals equally."  Bottom frame says "earlier that day" and has her saying "I don't care for porpoises."
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
Mesmerized by this decor for sale at Cracker Barrel
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
My calendar features horror comic book covers and this guy is having the time of his life
An overjoyed face from a comic book
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Helena @hellalena.bsky.social · 03/03/2026
They finally made the Avatar 4 title announcement!!! (Based on a dumb joke made while riffing on the franchise with my husband earlier)
Papyrus font reading AVATAR biscuits and gravy
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