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hekaton

@hekaton.bsky.social
308 followers 623 following 2K posts

once again unemployed immunologist books, board games, baking, brock bclimbing they/them san diego, CA

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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
also the abundance shit all takes years to have any effect at all so you’re going to have a hard time convincing the electorate to wait, and then that the benefits down the line were your party’s doing
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 18/03/2025
it’s plausible ai just gets more and more integrated into everything without improving much and the errors/hallucinations are just undetected, ignored, or invisible to its human operators. just another vector of enshittification
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 26/12/2024
::awake at 3am voice:: sleeping like The Hanged Man always a good sign sleeping like The Hanged Man everything is fine
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
a zoom filter that shows your room slowly filling up with water and little fish swimming around your head and bubbles coming out of your mouth as you say that you need to go check on a plumbing issue real fast before logging out
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 03/12/2024
how can people keep getting posters madness it’s happened so many times and by definition is mega public
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 02/12/2024
he was able to use his vast powers of surveyorsmanship to notice that mars normally wasn’t crushing several hundred thousand acres of virginian forestland
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
Post an Onion headline that lives in your head rent-free
text says “jurisprudence fetishist gets off on technicality” 
image is of aforementioned jurisprudence fetishist, a middle aged man in a suit and tie with tortoiseshell glasses and a mustache. he didn’t ask to be immortalized in this image but what can you do against the sweeping power of fate?
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
a shattered glass dome with a bunch of gumballs rolling out of it down into the gutter
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
there will be dozens to hundreds of holocausts worth of human death and suffering though
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
technically three years is within 20 years
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/12/2024
that reminds me of twoflower introducing the idea of fire insurance to Anhk-Morpork in the color of magic with disastrous results
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
gosh darn it i dunno if im great but im darn good enough aren’t i? ::rips a seal to pieces with my many rows of fine sharp teeth::
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
i mean the supervillain route is both underexplored and underappreciated
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
no no no that’s plenty neck you do have to oh ok well maybe a bit more but that’s fine oh jesus you can’t keep pushing that up and oh you’ve gone and done it again christ
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
::farmer staring out into their jpeg fields voice::
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
legitimately it seems the purpose of journalism schools is to select for the most credulous individuals possible that still only need one hand to hold a pen
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
a history of pulling the ball away has left many distrustful of lucy, here’s how this new season looks to shake things up
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
are you tired of this happening to you?!? ::flying bat mount barely skids into your mountain cave lair due to your huge balls:: well have we got a solution for you that won’t break the bank!
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
but he’s representative of a huge flock of dog shit people that run everything so there’s a certain value there
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
also ask if they are coming at any variety of king
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
::dad way too into the bit and trying to light a curly fry:: hey things with me and your mom are kinda tough right now
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
ive wondered how much our massive election spending every few years keeps legacy media afloat, and how much that warps the incentives for aforementioned legacy media in terms of election coverage
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
february, being the least month, is the best contender here
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
infinitely preferable though if they decide the problem was with being too mean to crypto people and not being too supportive of trans people
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
best flower gotta be the biggest flower, rafflesia arnoldi
picture of a jungle type environment with two huge flowers in it. they are red spotted with yellow white and have a big hole in the center which looks kinda like a mouth but isn’t because while some plants are carnivorous this one isnt
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
as long as we turn the sky bone white with a million million tons of sulfur what’s the problem
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
I mean it’s one banana, Michael, how much could it cost? 6.2 million dollars?
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
Yeah, I’m religious. I believe in the Holy Trinity.
image of the graphical display for the MAGI computer system in neon genesis evangelion. three interconnected boxes labeled casper balthasar and melchior, after the three wise men who gave gifts to the christchild. represent different aspects of their creator, her as a mother, as a scientist, and as a woman
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 30/11/2024
doesn’t the existence of a ‘value size’ implicitly admit that all the other sizes are total ripoffs
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
user interface is a two way street, i’m always saying
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
stare into the sun for a while to recalibrate your eye settings to dark mode (advanced)
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 28/11/2024
a little known sixth beach boy was eaten by a seagull before they could record a single album, a whole world of music lost to time and birds
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
i generally browse in abyssal mode, where it’s so dark you can only have a chance at seeing the text if you’re in a sensory deprivation tank or an extra deep mineshaft
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
::uncomfortably:: the slow blade penetrates the shield
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
‘It Came From The Library’ sounds like it was an old goosebumps about kids getting trapped in the books they checked out. “The late fees are KILLER!” could be the subtitle
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
a real human being and a real hero
marv from home alone two with his hand covered in tape and change having just stolen from the salvation army. marv is the taller one, the less joe pesci of the two.
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
it’s not just capital it’s the total energy and material consumption of the population? it will have to go down and people will be upset about it. its not bad that it has to go down but i don’t think you’re being serious if you think “everyone needs to drastically curb meat intake” is gonna be easy
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
i wonder if it was hard figuring out how to fold the empty balloon so that it could inflate evenly without tearing itself apart cause it’s so big and heavy like is that some advanced physics reverse origami?
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
to a large degree dealing with climate change is going to require substantial material sacrifices across all demographics so it’s difficult to see how we will proactively deal with it rather than just reactively attempt to stem its more visibly damaging effects
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
he’s only got a month or two before he gets junked for parts and used to make a25, it’d be nice to reward him a little
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
personally my house is completely covered in the ghosts of former interests and i lose my phone and keys constantly
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
what if it’s hundreds of copies of the same object
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
the tip is having your home be so cluttered that only a couple non-occupied horizontal spaces exist. you need to invest in trinkets and baubles more
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
i certainly do but cold stone refuses to use mix ins that i bring from home because of “LiAbILiTy ReAsOnS”
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
Indiana Jones and The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
“let’s get down to business, and then blast those buns”
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Reposted by hekaton
hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 01/07/2023
pbf weaboo comic with alf memes. first panel if we waste any more time on sexed up alf meems we'll be bankrupt by the end of the month, says nerd, second panel, one guy says did i hear somoene just say sexed up alf memes. third panel, guy with club. cause i think i just heard someone say sexed up alf memes. final panel. conga line of men with clubs and alf masks spanking the nerd from panel one, yelling sexed up alf memes sexed up alf memes. lots of typing on this one fam..
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
::an executive scribbling down ‘ALF HOG = TOP DOG’ on a whiteboard and then breaking into tears::
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
real time hydration analysis of the team players brought to you by GatoradeTM
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hekaton @hekaton.bsky.social · 27/11/2024
text from tweet saying
mst3k waiting theatre
me- normal view , normal view
other patients - normal view, NORMAL VIEW (ALL CAPS)
secretary (pounding her clipboard) - NORMAL VIEW, NORMAL VIEW, NORMAL VIEW!
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