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Headlines McMuffin

@headlinesmc.bsky.social
9.5K followers 9.4K following 6.6K posts

Satire. Today’s headlines and opinion with a 1940’s tabloid look. Retired military; 2 campaign medals. Northridge earthquake survivor. Avi: CBS broadcaster Edward R. Murrow, London, WWII era. Road to 10K followers 🏁 Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦

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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 3h
This might be the ‘big one’, Elizabeth.
Banner news headline - a report that Jack Smith attended a Red Sox game at Fenway Park, but was accused by a senator of visiting the grave of Redd Foxx in Las Vegas.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 3h
This might be the ‘big one’, Elizabeth.
Banner news headline - a report that Jack Smith attended a Red Sox game at Fenway Park, but was accused by a senator of visiting the grave of Redd Foxx in Las Vegas.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 6h
The Trump version of pulling into a gas station when the check engine light comes on.
Banner news headline - a report that Army mechanics responded to the check engine light coming on in Trump’s limo.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21h
‘Military dictatorship’ meet ‘military democracy’.
Banner news headline - SecWar Hegseth reveals a ‘military democracy’ as he deploys intelligence and cyber troops to the site of US elections.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21h
‘Military dictatorship’ meet ‘military democracy’.
Banner news headline - SecWar Hegseth reveals a ‘military democracy’ as he deploys intelligence and cyber troops to the site of US elections.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If he’s not lying he’s exaggerating. Where did it start?
Banner news headline - the Senate Séance Committee will call Trump’s 3rd grade teacher through Sam Wheat to try to learn where the lying began.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
At this rate nobody will know what they are voting for.
Banner news headline - the White House considers holding elections to decide whether to hold elections.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
At this rate nobody will know what they are voting for.
Banner news headline - the White House considers holding elections to decide whether to hold elections.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Meidas Ian @lordye.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Vote from the throat
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
We’re talking fuel inefficiency like nobody’s seen before.
Banner news headline - the White House lowers fuel mileage standards put in place by Joe Biden, ensuring now that no one can afford to fill up.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Payable in $5,000 Venezuelan oil vouchers.
Banner news headline - Trump throws a wrench in his $5,000 election giveaway: ‘If you vote against me you owe me $5,000’.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Payable in $5,000 Venezuelan oil vouchers.
Banner news headline - Trump throws a wrench in his $5,000 election giveaway: ‘If you vote against me you owe me $5,000’.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yes - a bake sale…like hummus for Hegseth.
Banner news headline - a report that Pete Hegseth eyes a bake sale to raise funds for Iran war weapons, like muffins for missiles and donuts for drones.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Yes - a bake sale…like hummus for Hegseth.
Banner news headline - a report that Pete Hegseth eyes a bake sale to raise funds for Iran war weapons, like muffins for missiles and donuts for drones.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Not that Trump ever reflects on anything…
Banner news headline - Trump, asked to reflect on the role of government says he really doesn’t see a need to have one.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The highest gas and diesel prices; give this man the credit he demands.
Banner news headline - a report that Trump bumped his head in the Oval Office and began demanding credit for the highest gas and diesel prices.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The highest gas and diesel prices; give this man the credit he demands.
Banner news headline - a report that Trump bumped his head in the Oval Office and began demanding credit for the highest gas and diesel prices.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If you see an ice cream truck in your neighborhood, ask yourself, “Have I been vaccinated?”
Banner news headline - the CDC, faced with staff shortages, shows ice cream trucks as the main spread of disease in America.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
I draw a blank on naming even one accomplishment of this administration, too.
Trump, advised on naming one accomplishment of his administration this term, confuses “I draw a blank” with a person’s name.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
If Trump could train a Chinese panda to operate a camera, he would give it a press pass.
Banner news headline - CNN is readmitted to the press pool after Trump dismisses a 7th grade photography club he hired to take CNN’s place.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Hey @thomasfuller.bsky.social what an article on the Lake Elsinore In-N-Out Burger! Such a southern California story. Keep writing!
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
omg I…🤣🤣💀
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Best not to share that with him, Natalie.
Banner news headline - after receiving a tour of Trump’s reflecting pool and ballroom, Xi Jinping comments, “What a dump.”
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Trump is an un-American American.
Banner news headline - in the White House, Trump gloats over the Chinese media while banning American news media.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Trump is an un-American American.
Banner news headline - in the White House, Trump gloats over the Chinese media while banning American news media.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
Oof - all the happiness money can buy.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If this keeps up, Trump can cancel the ballroom.
Banner news headline - Trump and Xi Jinping cancel the state dinner and will head out for Chinese food instead. After all, what could be more American than ordering Chinese food?
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
So the story line today is, let’s show America how pissy we can be.
Banner news headline - the White House bans staff from un-banning the banned reporters.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Man who craves reporting wonders why no one is reporting on him.
Banner news headline - the White House advises Trump that if he continues to ban so many news reporters, they cannot report on him.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Man who craves reporting wonders why no one is reporting on him.
Banner news headline - the White House advises Trump that if he continues to ban so many news reporters, they cannot report on him.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Trump pledging to not make any news is…news.
Banner news headline - Trump says the network news ban is nothing as he refuses to make any news.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Maybe he hasn’t thought this all the way through 🤔
Banner news headline - an analyst notes that Trump annihilating Iran would *permanently* close the Strait of Hormuz, sending gas prices to, ohhh, $9.95 a gallon.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Okay, so Trump filling up at the gas station is a stretch…
Banner news headline - a report that Trump filled up his limo with gas before threatening Iran with annihilation and driving up gas prices.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
If only she would take off and fly away 💸 💸
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
What about a bowling alley - does the Ayatollah’s residence have a bowling alley?
Banner news headline - Trump threatens Iran at the UN: “When I’m done, Iran will look like my reflecting pool.”
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Yes, the quiet days of arresting an Olympic athlete on trumped up charges at the reflecting pool.
Banner news headline - the White House misses the ‘quiet days of vandalism’ at the reflecting pool compared to the noisy incompetence of the current news ban.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Back to the 1950’s: “Its the Lucky Strike Hour, with Donald Trump!”
Banner news headline - shunned by the networks over his censorship, Trump signs broadcast deals with the 1950’s broadcaster, the Dumont Network, and DesiLu.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Back to the 1950’s: “Its the Lucky Strike Hour, with Donald Trump!”
Banner news headline - shunned by the networks over his censorship, Trump signs broadcast deals with the 1950’s broadcaster, the Dumont Network, and DesiLu.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Here’s breaking news - Trump has broken the news.
Banner news headline - Trump makes news by banning networks that cover him to make news.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Trump and the Iranians will never get on the same page…
Banner news headline - there’s confusion as Iran agrees to placing their drones, snipers and ammunition in Trump’s arch.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Trump and the Iranians will never get on the same page…
Banner news headline - there’s confusion as Iran agrees to placing their drones, snipers and ammunition in Trump’s arch.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Hello @fairhope-al.bsky.social my favorite Clash song is “I’m So Bored With The USA”.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Hey @gra1959.bsky.social THE Butler, PA?
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
All Trump asks is praise him and pay your homeowner dues.
Banner news headline - Trump seeks approval of his arch by converting it to military condominiums. He gets a real estate deal and a Mussolini-style tribute.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Continuing to bring you all the late breaking stories - even if they’re not late and not breaking.
Banner news headline - the White House rescinds our press credentials but we keep publishing!
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
My good friend, Weegot NoChanse knows of what he speaks.
Banner news headline - Trump, in conversation on GOP midterm election chances, confuses the confession, “We got no chance” with an actual person, Weegot NoChanse.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
My good friend, Weegot NoChanse knows of what he speaks.
Banner news headline - Trump, in conversation on GOP midterm election chances, confuses the confession, “We got no chance” with an actual person, Weegot NoChanse.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Puppet show, 3 nights…not sold out…
Banner news headline - a report that the Kennedy Center seeks to remain open with puppet shows and flea markets.
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Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
Puppet show, 3 nights…not sold out…
Banner news headline - a report that the Kennedy Center seeks to remain open with puppet shows and flea markets.
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Reposted by Headlines McMuffin
Headlines McMuffin @headlinesmc.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Another week of accomplishment by Donald J. Trump.
With a week that included harassing Canada, the threatened demolition of the Kennedy Center, and sky-high diesel prices, the White House is feeling pretty good about itself.
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