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dr. hazel 🕸️

@hazelmonforton.com
20K followers 3.5K following 15K posts

WGA award-nominated senior writer/narrative designer 🎮📝 presently: Gunfire Games ❤️💥 previously: Meow Wolf 🩷🧩 Blizzard 💛⚔️ Bungie 💙💫 Arkane 🧡🐀 contributions: Fallen London 💚🕯️ english lit phd 🎓🗡 personal account 🍞🌹 she/her 🌑✨ nyc 🍕🐁 to atx 🌻🦇

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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 10h
dark souls text but it says DEADLINE MET
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 13h
Gooey Gus from Ghostwriter.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 13h
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 13h
we did finish the raid! this was back in 2022.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 19h
And here's an eight year old tweet from my archive. Never stop posting.
A twitter post I made on April 26th, 2018:

The two things I wish I could guest-write for are Fallen London and The Magnus Archives. But then those are the two places most likely to accept and exalt my monster lust.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 04/10/2026
Spied a barred owl on our nightly walk.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 02/10/2026
Good job, Junie.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 30/09/2026
September 30th October 1st
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 30/09/2026
Spheres for the sphere bowl.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 29/09/2026
Junie you are descended from wolves.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 27/09/2026
Received a new bowl for my orbs. Wolf totem by @lioninthetrees.bsky.social!
A bunch of crystal spheres in a bowl with a blue and red interior glaze. A howling ceramic wolf and a little diamond shaped cage with an air plant are behind it.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 27/09/2026
I 🤍 SHREK
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 26/09/2026
Lord Sepulchrave Groan from that Titus Groan adaptation that was just okay.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 26/09/2026
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 26/09/2026
There are so many but these have had the most impact on my life (both material and emotional.) my9games.com/s/afbcbe0bed...
My 9 games:

1. Dishonored
2. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
3. Destiny 2
4. Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader
5. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
6. Zork Nemesis
7. Neverwinter Nights
8. Dragon Age: Inquisition
9. Pentiment
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 23/09/2026
Trazyn doing that “guy rubbing his hands together while staring with lascivious intent from behind a tree” meme face.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 23/09/2026
Got a little display for one of husb’s bigger little guys.
An Imperator Titan in a glass cloche.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 23/09/2026
this is heinrix van roguetrader
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 23/09/2026
just curse of strahd things (my character had a very vivid nightmare)
Always Sunny in Philadelphia title card that just says "Saskia Eats a Baby"
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 21/09/2026
Did you know? My old manager at Meow Wolf is married to my new coworker at Gunfire.
I sent a peepo gif and it was not well received.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 21/09/2026
Excited to announce that I’ve joined the team at Gunfire Games as a contract Senior Narrative Designer! ❤️💥
Gunfire Games logo.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 21/09/2026
Cookies at the bakery this morning
Shortbread cookies shaped like blue beetles. 🪲
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 21/09/2026
The travel orrery in Zork: Nemesis.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 19/09/2026
💀
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 18/09/2026
I’LL MISS THEM SO MUCH
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 18/09/2026
DO IT @devongiehl.bsky.social TAKE THE SHOT (devon is my manager and it’s my last day)
A workday task that says to terminate me today.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 18/09/2026
Steinbeck, John. (1939.) The Grapes of Wrath.
Twitter user Alyssa Sabo.

If I had huge knockers like like Sidney sweeten I’d actually be breastfeeding the hungry, not freaking posing nude for sports commercials. Jeez.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 18/09/2026
The "they don't know I'm" party meme except it's the pope when he was young, at an actual party, actually holding a drink. Tweeted by user @hardflics with the caption "They don't know I'm the future Pope."
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 17/09/2026
[me, to my laptop] GET WIRED, IDIOT
Internet speed test. 489.0 Mbps download speed, 143.2 mbps upload speed.Internet speed test. 2.03 gbps download speed, 354.2 mbps upload speed.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 17/09/2026
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 15/09/2026
we were top tier dragon age shitposters back then
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 15/09/2026
Spoof was spoofed even further in Deathloop, too.
An arcade cabinet in Deathloop called TOUCH OF THE STRANGER with the Outsider's mark beneath it on the screen.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 15/09/2026
Some people thought I was making fun of fanfiction. But let me tell you: this was written with all the love in my heart. #dishonored #dishonoredoto
[Excerpt from a work of theatre, banned by the Abbey on heretical grounds.]

THE STRANGER (smirking insidiously)
My dear Corvid. I’ve been watching you for a long time. When you fight, when you sleep. When you… bathe. And now you’ve lost it all.

CORVID (shocked and confused)
Who are you? What is this cold and shadowy place? Have I penetrated the Stranger’s Void?

THE STRANGER (with a flourish)
There are forces in this world, forces some men call magic. Now you can bend them to your will. I am the Stranger, and this is my mark.

CORVID (studying the back of his hand)
Ah—It burns! What is this supernatural gift?

THE STRANGER (moving closer)
Oh, but I have many more gifts to give. What will you do with them, I wonder?

CORVID (admiring the young man)
Oh! What pale skin, what piercing gaze! You look more youthful than the legends say.

THE STRANGER (caressing his cheek)
Let me show you which legends are true.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 15/09/2026
POV you are husb trying to paint your minis
A desk with mini painting stuff on it and Juniper under the desk staring up with a big smile.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 15/09/2026
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 13/09/2026
nw
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 10/09/2026
Someone who is good at plants please help, why are some of my alocasia leaves getting so pale?
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 10/09/2026
Junie ran out of power so I put her on the charging pad.
Junie lying on the floor, extremely flat. Junie curled up in her bed.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 07/09/2026
My army
A bunch of labradorite obelisks of different sizes
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 07/09/2026
Lots of minerals on display on my bookshelf.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 06/09/2026
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 06/09/2026
It’s more like this 😆
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 05/09/2026
Knitting another cardigan.
A knit-purl alternating sleeve for a cardigan in blue wool yarn.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 04/09/2026
The sign in front of this new Italian restaurant in Austin 😭
A sign that says

ARE YOU 
    DTF
          -> ->
  DOWN
          TO
FOCACCIA
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 04/09/2026
She’ll see you in her office now. It’s time for your performance review.
Junie in her tent.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 04/09/2026
Okay, you can see the difference in battery depletion rate here between using the screen (left) and normal battery depletion (right.)
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 03/09/2026
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 02/09/2026
The groomer always makes Junie’s nuggy very spherical.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 02/09/2026
I love this thing.
A macbook with a portable snap-on additional screen on the right.
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dr. hazel 🕸️ @hazelmonforton.com · 31/08/2026
Favorite photo of my childhood dog, Alice. She loved swimming.
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