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Hell Dunkin

@halduncan.com
3.2K followers 520 following 9.9K posts

Writer, editor, gardener--sometimes even in that order. Queer. He/thon, but mainly just cause thon's a guid Scots pronoun fur aebdy, whitever thur gender. Contact: hal AT halduncan DOT com

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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 01/10/2026
If you see this, post a vampire that isn’t Dracula.
head and shoulders shot of Grace Jones from the movie VAMP looking freaky with a ragdoll shock of bright orange-red hair, whiteface, and thick linear white designs painted over the dark skin of her shoulders and sternum
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 01/10/2026
It is Hallowmonth, so I am contractually required by the radge basturt spirits of my ancient forebears to post a *proper* Jack O'Lantern for the benefit of all you sweet summer children of America with yer cute lil pumpkins.
A proper jack o'lantern carved from a tumshie, a hideous leathery visage like the head of some terrible burn victim left languishing in an insane asylum for decades, the bandages stained filthy to the point of solidity, with a sick sheen. Pumpkins? Pfft!
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 24/09/2026
framed in the doorway of a plane, Trump is leaning forward to shout at the pilot visible through the cockpit window, two marines stood guard outside, one either side of the doorway
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 20/09/2026
still from the end of the musical number in the monorail episode of The Simpsons but instead of "Monorail!" they're all singing "Omelas!"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 17/09/2026
LMAO at Snyder's oblivious "but it's SOOOO gay!!!" like the weird decadent queer-coding of the evil Persians and the seethingly fervid homoerotic fetishised masculinity of the white-might-is-right Spartans (ironically dissing the Athenians as boy-lovers) wasn't PART OF WHAT MAKES IT SO FASCIST
When we showed “300” at the Berlin Film Festival this exact same thing happened. There was immediate discourse around the movie, and everyone booed and walked out. It was our first time showing the movie and we were like, “What the fuck.” They were saying it was “a disaster,” “the worst movie ever” and a “fascist” movie. Then we had a press conference where they were asking me all these questions, like, “Are you a fascist filmmaker?”
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 09/09/2026
Found it!
Fascist standing at a lectern that reads "DA LAS" instead of "DALLAS." The missing L is on the fascist's forehead.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 07/09/2026
Every Oxbridge member of the commentariat:
Principal Skinner meme. Upper text: "Could Harry Potter be hateful?" Lower text: "No, it's the filthy Muggles who're wrong!"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 17/08/2026
I am mostly just annoyed about being thwarted yet again in my apparently endless quest for a simple ringer tank top that is NOT one of those dumb muscle bro vests with hardly any back or some baggy basketball nonsense, look there was an entire decade devoted to this shit, this shouldn't be this hard
a simple ringer tank top in yellow with dark brown trim that H&M is mocking me with
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 15/08/2026
Their "centre" is the *centre of power & privilege* and the "leftism" they hate is advocacy for those *left outside*. Once you abandon the nonsense spatial metaphor of a left/right political axis and reconfigure your thinking to Bastion Theory, the extremism of the supposedly "moderate" is obvious.
a map of Dubrovnik's walled old town as illustration of Bastion Theory, in which the institutions of power that happen to be on the right of the map are labeled "THE RIGHT"; just beyond that to the right, the "FAR RIGHT" man the city walls, extending all the way round them to the gates; outside of those gates is labeled the LEFT; while the main part of the bastion of power & privilege is occupied by "CENTRIST FUCKS"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 16/07/2026
Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness
JoongDunk as Fadel and Style in Thai BL tv show The Heart Killers
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 16/07/2026
sorry, the one on the left is the superior phone, I know this from experience, that motherfucker served me well right into the age of smartphones, it was fuckin indestructible
Ko from When Oranges Fall grinning as he holds up two old Nokias, one in each hand, a slightly fancier one to the right, and to the left the classic Nokia brick with its stubby wee aerial, secretly superior
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 12/07/2026
thoughts and prayers for a paragon of Southern charm whose occasional episodes of being a total piece of shit should not overshadow his legacy of a career dedicated to wielding power over others
Lil Gideon from Gravity Falls pointing angrily
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 12/07/2026
shot from TV news of a header reading "Quote From Man Stabbed" with the quote in question displayed as "What are you gonna do, stab me?"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 09/07/2026
Seriously though, drop the left/right spatial metaphor and think *in/out* instead, think in terms of Wilhoit's Law, and you'll actually be seeing the politics a gazillion times more clearly. The left/right axis is just obfuscation.
a map of Dubrovnik's walled old town as illustration of Bastion Theory, in which the institutions of power that happen to be on the right of the map are labeled "THE RIGHT"; just beyond that to the right, the "FAR RIGHT" man the city walls, extending all the way round them to the gates; outside of those gates is labeled the LEFT; while the main part of the bastion of power & privilege is occupied by "CENTRIST FUCKS"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 01/07/2026
Literally reads like they're wonderstruck at the supersoldier serum creating Captain America out of Steve Rogers.
Daily News front page with before and after photos of Christine Jorgensen, headlined "EX-GI BECOMES BLONDE BEAUTY" with the subheader "Operations Transform Bronx Youth"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 30/06/2026
The centrists' depiction of themselves as a moderate middle ground hinges on the left/right axis as spatial metaphor. Scrap that bad metaphor and the reality becomes a whole lot clearer.
a map of Dubrovnik's walled old town as illustration of Bastion Theory, in which the institutions of power that happen to be on the right of the map are labeled "THE RIGHT"; just beyond that to the right, the "FAR RIGHT" man the city walls, extending all the way round them to the gates; outside of those gates is labeled the LEFT; while the main part of the bastion of power & privilege is occupied by "CENTRIST FUCKS"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 29/06/2026
From Keir Starmer to Andy Burnham, I for one hope to see the SHIELD Party recover its trust among the public and get to grips with its task of defeating Hydra in the next UK general election with this bold new change in leadership.
Robert Redford in Captain America: The Winter Soldier without spectaclesRobert Redford in Captain America: The Winter Soldier but with spectacles
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/06/2026
don't kink shame Pluto and Goofy for their master/slave thing, look at them they're both clearly happy and consenting
black and white still of Disney's Pluto snoozing happily in an armchair by his radio, fully dressed, while Goofy sleeps curled up on a rug at his feet, buck naked
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 18/06/2026
hope the Tartan Army got the formal paperwork printed and distributed for use of course:
flow chart titled Scottish Citizenship Test where the yes answer to "Do you want to be Scottish?" leads to "OK, you're in" but the no answer just leads to "Aye you do" with an arrow leading from there back to the start
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 31/05/2026
Happy Praed Month
Actor Michael Praed in British telly's 80s classic Robin of Sherwood. In brown leather Robin Hood costume, with a quiver of arrows over his shoulder, in a forest of course, he's looking at you all broody and moody and 1980s idol with his immaculately combed shoulder length hair.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 30/05/2026
close up on Kyle Maclachlan as Paul Atreides in David Lynch's Dune, a line of Fremen warriors stretched across the sand behind him, the text of a classic quote blanked out in two key places to now read "THE ICE MUST FLO"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 29/05/2026
Sooooo close now! Come on, Flo Rida! It's just down to you now! Give us your "Hell no!" and bring it down to JUST. VANILLA. ICE.
poster for the Freedom 250 event with all but two of the nine featured performers either crossed out because they're not actually performing at all or disqualified as not really the act they're claiming to be
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/05/2026
I can't find anything looking like official confirmation of this but I can't be arsed with more than a cursory search and I'm taking it on trust anyway because it's too funny not to. There are only two to go--repeat, there are only two to go until it's just Vanilla Ice left
poster for the Freedom 250 line-up with only 3 of the 9 featured performers NOT crossed out in red or in one case scrawled over with the word "NOT" because they're not the act they're claiming to be
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/05/2026
Wait, no, more accurate version, strictly speaking, since Freedom Williams *is* performing, he's just not in any way shape or form entitled to perform as C + C Music Factory
Poster for the line-up of Freedom 250 with five out of nine of the featured performers Xed out in red (or in one case overwritten with a big "NOT") because even one half of a lipsynching act from the 80s has more dignity than to perform at this thing
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/05/2026
You sunk my battleship!
Poster for the line-up of Freedom 250 with five out of nine of the featured performers Xed out in red because even one half of a lipsynching act from the 80s has more dignity than to perform at this thing
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/05/2026
the Freedom 250 line-up (until Spinal Tap drop out, that is)
A sign labeled THEATRE ENTRANCE with lettering on reading PUPPET SHOW as the headline act, followed up with AND SPINAL TAP below for the support act
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 10/05/2026
also, "Historyland" presumably AI sloppified this pic, I guess
black and white grainy photo of a young Theodore Roosevelt Jr in the White House greenhouse with a parrot on one hand, the path he's stood on receding into the distance, lined by tropical planfs
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 02/05/2026
There's another painting I have a vague memory that illustrates it better, as I recall, with a single figure who almost looks like she's at a shop counter, but this, I contend, is why we developed pronounced windowsills as a marker of the interactive social function of the window, of an *un*barrier.
The 17th century painting Two Women at a Window by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo. A standing woman attempts to hide a smile with her shawl as she peeks from behind a partially opened shutter, while a younger woman leans on the windowsill, gazing out at the viewer with amusement. The difference in their ages might indicate a chaperone and her charge.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 26/04/2026
"traumatised", lol these people are scum
handwringing skeet from the editor-in-chief of Mother Jones: 

"People here are being really shitty, including at fellow journalists who've been traumatized, and you will regret those posts. Or should. 

Also this does not help your political cause, whatever that might be."
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 23/04/2026
The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)
still from Lone Wolf and Cub of the ronin protagonist pushing a babycart along a countryside and carrying his kid
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 21/04/2026
So yeah that came out pretty fuckin delicious. Simple and cheap as fuck, and kinda lazy even. I only used half the pack of pork belly strips so I may even do this again tomorrow
A red bowl with a crescent of jasmine rice cradling chunks of pork belly braised with lem and lime and massaman curry paste, a fork stuck in.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 20/04/2026
I already had a suspicion that Sagremor in the Livre d'Artus, son of Emperor Hadrian's daughter, no less, and the handsomest handsome man to ever handsome, was the self-insert OC of some storyteller along the way, and I'm not saying this confirms it but it rather increases those suspicions lol
As they were leaving, Sagremor had his helmet removed and he began to get cold. A great sorrow came to his heart, and everything began to darken. And when he saw that he was beginning to weaken, he said to Lord Yuain the Bastard who was with him, "Sire, I am completely distraught. Hold me, for my heart fails me." And Lord Yuain looked at him and saw him completely darken, so he hugged him and embraced him to his chest. And Lord Gawain came and wept very tenderly when he saw him, for he truly thought he would die. And when his companions saw him, they all beat their palms and made great sorrow and all said, "You were gentle, handsome, good, and beloved by ladies and knights, and not very boastful." They regretted it, both small and great, and remained all around him, and their grief was too wonderful.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 20/04/2026
In which one of our young more-ned-than-noble heroes of the Livre d'Artus, having killed two Saxon kings, won't even let the lamenting soldiers have the bodies back because FUCK YEZ AW, YA BASTURTS lol
And when the Saxons saw the two dead kings, they stopped and seized Brannague and carried him off, and they began a most marvelous mourning over him. And the queen, who was on the walls, began to cry loudly to Sagremor to come, but he did not wish to. Instead, he stopped upon those who were leading the mourning over the body, wishing to carry it off, and struck them with great and perilous blows, killing many and maddening them. And when the Sain saw that he was beating them so severely and that such damage had done them, they rushed upon him and assailed him from all sides, slicing his shield and his hauberk, unmailing and breaking it into several pieces.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 15/04/2026
The archaic Celtic colour term "glas", root of the name of the city of Glasgow, as defined in the current WIP in a footnote by the fictitious academic commentator, Henry V. Duncan, who may or may not be getting, at this point, somewhat affected by the ghost of the mad radge basturt bard narrator.
screenshot of WIP reading: 1. The colour of the stones in the original Welsh is glas, meaning blue in modern times, meaning green in ancient times, meaning silvery elsewise, meaning grey, meaning verdant, meaning none of these and all, the colour of the overcast sky, of the sea in winter, of wet slate slick from rain, of algae on beach granite rocks scoured smooth by the waves, dull and gleaming, the pale steel light before dawn thinning the darkness on the horizon, a salmon scale unspeckled, a distant isle in the mist, an impossible colour, a missing shade of blue green grey ideas asleep and brooding, furious. It is the colour of grief perhaps.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 06/04/2026
[nods sagely]: Alias Smith and
Crossword clue: The _____ Jones Industrial Average (stock market index).
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/03/2026
me blocking someone
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 05/02/2026
apropos of the Elder Nibling and I listening to a brocialist TikToker being wrong about Lord of the Flies
Butterfly meme with guy labeled "cishet white guys reading Lord of the Flies" looking at a butterfly labeled "posh cishet white guys" with the text below reading "Is this human nature?"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 26/01/2026
white text on a black background in the style of an It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia title card, reading "The Gang Gets Radicalised"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 26/01/2026
Mon Mothma's shitty fash apologist husband from Andor is reading a tablet, with an inset in the picture showing some chattering class fuckwit's op-ed titled "YES, IT'S FASCISM" and reading under that, in patronising obliviousness, "Until recently, I thought it a term best avoided. But now, the resemblances are too many and too strong to deny." The absolute Perrin Fertha who wrote this is bylined as Jonathan Rauch.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 25/01/2026
First flowers of the year in #Rakesden
A cluster of snowdrops popping up from a lawn as much moss and random wildlings as actual grass
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 07/01/2026
Skies looking a bit dramatic on the way back to Glasgow from Stonehaven
Over a low wave of hills in near silhouette a broad expanse of sky is strewn with clouds backlit by the winter sun, scattering apart into cotton ball puffs across the blue
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 04/01/2026
Still up in Stonehaven visiting family and may well be here for some more days than anticipated given the snow. They, of course, have to have their hoose in the middle of fuckin nowhere *outside* of town, a twenty minute walk for supplies (i.e.rum)
A slope of gorse so thick with snow they look like cauliflowersA snowy country lane in the gloaming and orange streetlight, tracks cutting through the snow, lined by dark scraggy bare hedgerow and trees to one side, a fence to the otherA snowbound country lane in the gloaming, lined by gorse, fields beyond, tractor treads cutting through snow drifted deep in places, under a clear blue sky tinted gold at the horizon with dusk, one Elder Nibling (five ten and two halves) for scale
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 28/12/2025
Pour one out for the fallen
A can of Irn Bru with its base so bulging it’s sat at a 45 degree angle on a kitchen counter, its entirely blown off top sat beside it
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 08/12/2025
the left is always already the *left out* & where Labour was founded to represent the proles historically left out of governance, to achieve seats at the table inside the bastion, its vestige taken over by the neoliberals is now itself bastioned, seeing itself as just the right's bourgeois managers
a map of Dubrovnik's walled old town as illustration of Bastion Theory, in which the institutions of power that happen to be on the right of the map are labeled "THE RIGHT"; just beyond that to the right, the "FAR RIGHT" man the city walls, extending all the way round them to the gates; outside of those gates is labeled the LEFT; while the main part of the bastion of power & privilege is occupied by "CENTRIST FUCKS"
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 30/11/2025
Kneecap. Glasgow Hydro. Wait.
Crowd at gig
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 23/11/2025
Move 'em on, head 'em up Head 'em up, move 'em on Move 'em on, head 'em up Rawhide! Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Ride 'em in, let 'em out Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Rawhide! *whipcrack*
Pope singing
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 19/11/2025
Brazil (1985)
a still from the movie Brazil in which a futuristic facelift is being given to an older obviously wealthy woman in posh clothes and pancake makeup by stretching her jowls back with freakish elasticity
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 02/11/2025
this is the Ardeer ICI Nobel factory site where my paternal grandmother helped build munitions to kill people in WW2 and produce chemical shit after that which ultimately poisoned her before I was born, don't think there's much chance of my getting a job there now even if I wanted the slow poisoning
a desolate wasteground of winterbrown grassland, the ruinous facade of some long industrial building half-buried in turf and scrub visible in the background
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 29/10/2025
I have fixed the stupid nomenclature whereby your parent's cousin is supposedly also a "cousin" rather an aunt or uncle, and even your grandparent's cousin is supposedly also a "cousin" ffs rather than a grand-uncle or grand-aunt.
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Hell Dunkin @halduncan.com · 08/10/2025
So it worked out rather well
A giant casserole dish of chilli con carne
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