iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

I feel frustrated also because I know I should stop being so open about my trauma bc that is part of what has left me so vulnerable but I don't know how to do it when I think talking about it is how I process and 1 hour of therapy once a week doesn't really cut it. I do not feel as safe talking here

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Well I have collected a few opinions on my situation and while the advice I got was varied everyone pretty much unanimously agreed I'm in a really scary situation rn and my roommate even moreso. I feel pretty frustrated and anxious ngl. I feel frustrated that I don't have a good place to vent abt it

My friends r the best basically I love u all

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OCD people if u inherit other people's OCD shit from hearing about it don't read this but if u have advice for me I would love to hear it

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I feel like I'm hungover and also withdrawing from some med that u do not wanna withdraw from like effexor fuck

June @hadopelagic.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

Every time I think things r gonna calm down and be normal for once it gets all fucked up again. It's always more lore. Always

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June @hadopelagic.bsky.social · 23/02/2025

I am feeling a little bit ashamed of the way I've been posting lately actually bc I feel like my posts have been very neurotic. I am under a lot of stress because I am having health issues, plus not making enough to live, plus job issues, plus I am in an unsafe living situation where I genuinely do

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I'm sorry I've been so negative lately idk I feel bad about it

Lingua Ignota's music means so fucking much to me dude

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One thing that I have been struggling to wrap my head around lately is why do I need to go to therapy to deal with my trust issues when my lived experiences have taught me time and time again that other people are not to be trusted in most cases? Is my way of thinking really all that irrational atp?

↳ bee! ˚₊· ➳♡ @palisades.bsky.social · 20/02/2025

Reposted by June

"kill the cop in your head" this, "kill the priest in your head" that, what about "kill the advertiser in your head" that pushes you to pidgeon-hole, sanitize and generalize your personal works because a broader audience makes more money than a niche one

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I've caught something respiratory which basically means I'll probably be coughing for the next 4 months I'm so frustrated

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And I deserve to be judged bc what happened fucked me up but the people who did it to me don't go figure

Zara H Art 🔜 NYCC H19 @zarahartist.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

Reposted by June

Why yes, it’s another Arcane WIP

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Trying to get back into drawing again finally

A digital sketch done in Procreate of a girl with pigtails glaring at the ground and off to the right. It incorporates thick, sketchy black line work against a gray background. She has big eyes and is wearing one of those off the shoulder sweaters with straps that cross over each other in the front.

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I hate the new layout for pinterest

I'm allowed to draw at my job during downtimes so I drew this today with crayola twistables and markers :D u can tell I'm left handed bc the left side is all smeared with marker lmao

A drawing on white canvas of a person with blue hair wearing a striped shirt. It's done in Crayola twistables and Crayola markers. The person has green, pink and blue eyes and there are hues of green in their long blue hair. Their lips and cheeks are bright pink.

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Can't talk about it but I'm upset

Man I'm so sick of being sick literally all the time and I can't even figure out what's going on bc no insurance and even if I did my doctor is a fucking quack and the healthcare where I live is a joke and they let health problems fester until there's nothing you can do basically

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Btw I think this person is genuinely a predator and so do the other 2 and I don't necessarily think my other roommate is safe with her here and she has knowingly invited rapists into our house when the person they raped was here too.

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How would u go about telling someone not to resign a lease if you know they have a pattern of literally trying to ruin people's lives in any way they can when they're feeling mad and have done so much weird shit already that you feel paranoid just being around them? Am I crazy for wanting cameras

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Is everyone isolated or am I just really really really awful at making friends and maintaining relationships with the friends I do have?

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Does gauging count as a piercing? Like when someone asks which one of my piercings hurt the most the answer is obvious it's when I stretched my septum from 2 to 1 but does that count? I don't even remember how much most of my piercings hurt but stretching to a 1 I know was bad bc tears were

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I like Deftones but I don't think I'd ever see them live cos I don't need to know nothing about chino moreno to know he's already too full of himself as it is

Well I guess a lot of people think my way of thinking about a lot of things is stupid but I don't know how that could be because when I think about certain things nothing seems clearer but I guess it makes sense I've known people don't see eye to eye with me for a long time.

I kinda feel like my roommate has something evil in store for me and my other roommate kinda picked up on some weird vibes too

........ I'm so tired of not getting paid enough to live and needing cash advances every single paycheck to just scrape by and even then it's not enough. I think it'll be better soon but it's just. Frustrating

Whyyyyyy r u standing on the porch just staring at me through the window leave me alone

I was gonna post something abt why I find Tomura relatable n then I realized this is not vent and that would definitely be a vent only post so instead all u guys get to know is that I'm thinking about it

I was just thinking abt it bc I realized I think that I might be consumed by my OCD every second of every day almost and that seems like it's probably pretty severe then and I mean I can kind of work a job so I guess it's not incapacitating but I wonder if I should get on some meds for it but my

I mean I notice it but I don't have self awareness "oh this is my OCD again" most of the time it's just "og we're suffering again and that's just how it goes" I think

I always forget that my OCD is like actually probably severe I think bc I am so used to being consumed by my compulsions and obsessions and suffering basically that I can't imagine things being any other way but it definitely does consume me most of the time I mean anyone who has known me on here or

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I am not sure what's going on maybe just exhaustion or stress but I am feeling self conscious because I don't feel like I'm thinking clearly anymore and I feel like I'm getting worse at expressing myself verbally, like wording stuff wrong and needing to try multiple times to word stuff right but

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