Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 05/03/2025Agoraphobia is so fucking stupid. Like thanks, being around people makes me feel sick and I have to have something above my head or the sky will swallow me like a little snacky-snack. I haven't posted puns recently because I've been feeling pretty rough. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 26/02/2025The apartments I'm moving into average 475 square feet. My agoraphobic ass couldn't be happier. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 26/02/2025Feb 26th. Pun Calendar. "I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that's just nuts!" You will die, sir. 23/50 almonds. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 25/02/2025Feb 25th. Pun Calendar. "Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box." As an agoraphobic person, I can understand but am the opposite. 14/15 boxes. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 24/02/2025Feb 24th. Pun Calendar. "I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy." Fantastic 10/10 fingers. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 22/02/2025Feb 22nd and 23rd. Pun Calendar. "I ran out of poker chips so I used dried fruits for playing instead. People went nuts when they saw me raisin the stakes." Pretty good. 23/25 raisins. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 21/02/2025Feb 21st. Pun Calendar. "This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself, that's a nice jester." Don't like clowns do like jesters. This is a good pun. 9/10 jester hats. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 20/02/2025Feb 20th. Pun Calendar. "I got a job in a health club but they said I wasn't fit for the job." Pretty good, though sad. 7/10 fitness clubs. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 20/02/2025media.tenor.comkermit the frog is wearing a black hoodie and kermit the frog is wearing a black hood .ALT: kermit the frog is wearing a black hoodie and kermit the frog is wearing a black hood . 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 19/02/2025I forgot yesterday's (18th) pun, which is fine because it's not a pun. "Zebras are just horses that escaped from jail?" Not a pun! 0/10! Feb 19th. "My sister was crying so I asked her if she was having a cry-sis." That's more like it! 10/10 crises. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 17/02/2025Feb 17th. Pun Calendar. "I found a rock yesterday which measured 1,760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone." It's okay. 1600/1760 yards. 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 15/02/2025I forgot yesterday's pun. Feb 14th and 15th and 16th. Pun Calendar. "Skunks love Valentine's Day because it's very scent-imental." Cute! 9/10 skunks. "I've decided to sell my vacuum. It was just collecting dust." Heehee! 10/10 vacuums. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 13/02/2025Feb 13th. Pun Calendar. "Atheism is a non-prophet organization." A lie, but a funny one. 7/10 atheists. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 12/02/2025Feb 12th. Pun Calendar. "I went to a buffet dinner with my neighbor, who is a taxidermist. After such a big meal, I was stuffed." 👀👀👀 10/10 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 11/02/2025Feb 11th. Pun Calendar. "Masks have no face value." A very subtle pun. 4/6 faces. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 10/02/2025Feb 10th. Pun Calendar. "My tennis opponent was not too happy with my serves, he kept returning them." Pretty good. 8/10 tennis balls. 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 09/02/2025Wild. I can't imagine how one would differentiate easily without quotations. That sounds so confusing. 100
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 09/02/2025You didn't like it because you were expecting a sexy vampire movie? Do some research before you go to a movie. Count Orlock has always been depicted as a horrifying monster. All this to say, if you want to see a great movie with fantastic subtext, go see Nosferatu. 000
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 09/02/2025I've been seeing a lot of hate for the new Nosferatu movie and I feel like a lot of people missed the whole point of the movie. It's about original sin and how that concept oppresses women. It's about the changeling stereotype. It's about how men see women as objects for their own use. 100
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Feb 8th and 9th. Pun Calendar. "What is a hurricane's favorite game? Twister." Should have been 'tornado's favorite game' instead of hurricane. 6/10 tornados. 000
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 07/02/2025Feb 7th. Pun Calendar. "I recently got crushed by a pile of books. But I suppose I've only got my shelf to blame." Eh, I'll take it. 7/10 books. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 06/02/2025Feb 6th. Pun Calendar. "Sue broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine." A bit weak. 5/10 fingers. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 05/02/2025Feb 5th. Pun Calendar. "Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you." Who can afford x-rays in the US? 4000/5000 US dollars. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 05/02/2025Feb 4th. Pun Calendar. "I'm working on a device that will read minds. I'd love to hear your thoughts." A little creepy. 6/10 thoughts. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 03/02/2025Jan 3rd. Pun Calendar. "She was only a whiskey maker, but I loved her still." Fantastic. I love this one. 100/100 proof. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 02/02/2025Missed yesterday's pun but it's fine because it's the same as today's pun. Feb 1st and 2nd. Pun Calendar. "I planned to find my watch today, but I didn't have the time." Excellent. Classic. 11/12 hours. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 31/01/2025Jan 31st. Pun Calendar. "A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption." Guns in school is poor taste. 2/10 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 30/01/2025I forgot my pun yesterday so you get two puns today. Jan 29th. Pun Calendar. "If you jumped off a bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine." Niche. I like it. 10/12 baguettes Jan 30th. Pun Calendar. "I've been learning braille. I'm sure I'll master it once I get a feel for it." Cute. 20/26 letter 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 28/01/2025I never realized how much of my anxiety was due to agoraphobia til now. My therapist noticed a big difference in my mood today. Spending my days enclosed in a bed tent makes it so that I have more spoons to handle leaving the house, increases my mood, and decreases my anxiety. Big win. 040
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 28/01/2025Jan 28th. Pun Calendar. "I often say to myself, 'I can't believe that cloning machine worked!'" Subtle, tasteful, a lie tho. 3/5 clones. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 27/01/2025Jan 27th. Pun Calendar. "There was a recent study that tried to pinpoint the effect that alcohol had on walking. The results were staggering." Hehehehehe. 9/10 shots. 021
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 25/01/2025Jan 25th and 26th. Pun Calendar. "I've accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles. My next poop could spell disaster." Love a good poop joke. 20/26 letters. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 24/01/2025Jan 24th Pun Calendar. "Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?" Boo. Go to the gym! 2/7 treadmills. 010
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 23/01/2025Jan 23rd Pun Calendar "I gave all my dead batteries away… they were free of charge!" Another double pun, we appreciate. Points docked for the crime of giving away dead batteries. 30/45 AAAs. 011
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 22/01/2025Jan 22. Pun Calendar. "It was cold in the bedroom so I laid down in the fireplace and slept like a log." Makes me think of a friend at LARP. 2/3 logs. 051
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 21/01/2025Jan 21st. Pun Calendar. "I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt for ages. But then one day, it just clicked." Cute. I like it. 6/7 seatbelts. 041
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Jan 20th. Pun Calendar. "I understand how gems are made. The concept is crystal clear to me." Cute. To the point. Simple. A good pun. 8/10 amethyst points. 031
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 20/01/2025Living in the current political climate with schizoaffective disorder is like living in a video game that's constantly on nightmare mode. Only worse. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Jan 18th. Pun Calendar. "There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal." Sales are hard. This pun goes harder. 2/2 oars. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 18/01/2025Jan 17th. Pun Calendar. "Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass." Loving these double puns. 4/4 Window panes. 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 16/01/2025My insurance decided I did not need sedation for the shot that went directly to the nerve between my pelvis and my spine because the procedure was quick. It was about as quick as the other two, which I got sedated for. I would know, I felt the needle. 120
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 16/01/2025Jan 16th. Pun Calendar. "Went to quite a few stores to find the best prices for herbs… I think it was thyme well spent." Two puns in one post? My favorite pun? Be still my beating heart! 1000/100 thyme leaves! This is my favorite pun! 020
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 15/01/2025Jan 15th. Pun Calendar. "I always wanted to learn how to procrastinate... just never got around to it." Excellent. I love a good paradox. 10/10 impossibilities. 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 14/01/2025Jan 14th. Pun Calendar. "Just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap." Lazy. Could be better! 3/12 brownies. 030
Hal 9000 @guylacroix.bsky.social · 14/01/2025Almost forgor Jan 13th. Pun Calendar. "My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly… I'm not a fan." Pretty good. I can appreciate it. 4/5 fan blades. 030