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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

A memorial bench has been placed in Grimstone Park to remember former Grimhaven Town Councillor and slime-mould enthusiast, the Honorable Toller Fratrum. A dedication was inscribed by those who knew him best.

A park bench next to a bin. A masonry wall behind. Someone has written in silver marker pen 'No one cares'

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

The Hulleaky itself is fitted with all the latest mod-cons a waterborne vacationer could expect, including foam insulation sleeping mats, a camping stove, and Kendal mint-cake (may be past 'best before' date).

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

The luxury narrowboat Hulleaky is available for holiday trips along Goiter Flume during the three days a year that the waterway is navigable. Outside of this period the Flume is either a raging torrent or a dry river bed.

A very tired cargo narrowboat with peeling paint and obvious list to starboard, sitting tied up in a cutting covered in algae. Lovely.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Due to the ongoing canine fecal fecundity at St Marnie In The Midden parish church, the stipend vicar the Rev. Wootton Fitzpaine has been unusually terse in his condemnation of the dog-egg perpetrators; "May God strike you and your dog down should it shitteth up this holy ground".

A sign leaning against a church wall stating "Blessed are they who do not allow their dogs to foul this sacred churchyard".

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Despite the fruits appealing look, they taste of grit and disappointment.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Climate change and the perpetual mists that hang over Grimhaven are creating a sub-temperate-artic microclimate around the bay area that is allowing new and unusual species of flora to thrive. Here we see the breeze-block banana plant bearing fruit.

An urban setting featuring a tall stone block gatepost upon which some bananas have been hung.
Nope, I don't know why either

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

This does present logistical issues if there is a call-out, but the crews get around this by shouting encouragement from the shoreline to those in distress.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

The new Grimhaven lifeboat station. The previous lifeboat station drowned after it got into difficulties, so the new lifeboat station has been constructed a mile inland to avoid a repetition.

A workshop in a rural location. Definitely not a lifeboat station.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

The Grimhaven Adventure Playground nears completion.

A rubble pile from a demolished building, with large amounts of foliage growing from it. In the foreground a forlorn traffic cone and some collapsed hoarding. All viewed through a Heras fence.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

It's a hive of industry at the Grimhaven Chocolate Teapot Factory.

A derelict loading bay with various piles of rubbish, including an upturned ride-on pink kiddies car. Above the shuttered doors there is a floor of empty offices with several windows broken.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Grimhaven Town Council are trialing a new recycling strategy. Through the sealing of all public waste bins, citizens are forced to take waste home for recycling. In other news, there has been a 575% increase in fly-tipping in the Grimhaven area.

A seaside bin, fairly new looking and only slightly pissed on by dogs. The aperture has a laminated sheet stuck over it that says 'Do not use'.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Here we see the final shot of the accompanying video being set up. Shortly after the photo was taken an electrical fault in one of the arc lights caused the prop's tape to catch fire. The ensuing conflagration caused half a million pounds worth of improvements to the seafront.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Following on from 'Taking The Manneken Pis', Kleftpalate's next track was the twenty eight second techno-jazz-funk standard 'Mummy Was A Betamax Cassette Tape, Daddy Was The Head Of An 80's New Romantic'. Critics were united in their admiration, calling it 'pretentious twaddle'.

What, I mean, wtaf is going on here? A mannequin's head on some sort of bent pole with what looks like tentacles of plastic tape trailing from its neck. Even if there was context to this it would still be weird and disturbing.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Music critics have been unanimous in their praise, describing it as 'unlistenable bilge waste'.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Popular Grimhaven electronic music pioneers Kleftpalate have been filming a video around the town for their latest release 'Taking The Manneken Pis'. This innovative track consists of a single chord held for 2 hrs & 39 mins with occasional pitch wheel inputs from synth wizard Mcfadden Notchfilter.

A row of seven mannequin heads on things that aren't mannequin bodies and dressed in all sorts of mad shit. This is outside at a seaside resort. Apparently a tribute to Iconic British Women or something similar. Perhaps 'ironic' would be more apt. One of the heads has a Freddie Mercury-style moustache.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Replete on a high-fibre diet heavily featuring pulses and legumes, the musicians played popular classical pieces on the butthole bassoon, the flatulent flute, and cloacal clarinet. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

Grimhaven is a noted centre of cultural excellence. Only last week the Grimhaven Anal Symphony Orchestra (GASO) performed to audiences of tens and less at the World Ass Music festival. 🧵1/2

A woman sits on a bench by a beach. In the background there is sand, sea, and sky. There are people enjoying themselves on the beach.
Immediately in front of the woman is some railing to which a sign advertising 'World Class Music Live' is attached. Because I am a fourteen year old in the body of a middle-aged man, I have taken the photo so that the woman's head and shoulders block out the CL in 'class'.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

...the non-free art exhibition centred around the works of Frencham Lickfold, and then take a look at the Grimhaven compendium of maritime disasters. Round off your visit with a mandatory visit to the gift shop (no gifts available). 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

The Grimhaven Guild Hall has now been fully refurbished and is open to visitors for the next week. Attractions include, but are not limited to, the officially sanctioned town collection of adjustable spanners, the indoor sensory garden (ear protection measures are advised)...🧵1/2

A small, derelict single storey utilitarian building. It would be vastly improved by an explosion.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Visitors to Lake Embouchure are warned to keep away from the hippopotami. Scientists at Grimhaven Technical College have determined that infamous Embouchure miasma is 69% hippo flatulence and capable of incapacitating a swan at a distance of six feet or more.

A fibre-glass hippo hull down. In front of it a swan appears to have fainted but is actually preening itself...I hope

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

& shall applaud in the appropriate places. Failure to do so will result in withdrawal of margarine rations and confiscation of trousers. Citizens are reminded to dress appropriately as hurricane conditions are forecast. The wearing of both standard-issue cardigans is recommended. Message ends. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Hear ye, oh hear ye! All citizens of Grimhaven are to lend us their ears by order of the Town Council. The town's broadcasting service is receiving airtime from an outside organisation, the BBC. In honour of this auspicious occasion, citizens will gather in the Market Square... 🧵1/2

Email from local BBC Radio advising that GCR Episode 2 will feature on the BBCUpload West Country programme this week.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Limply Hanging Community Hall is available for birthdays, funerals, weddings, bar mitzvahs, funerals, christenings, and funerals. Whatever the event, the Community Hall is the venue for you. Especially funerals. Hirers are requested to provide their own front door.

A parish noticeboard outside a single storey rural brick building with pitched roof. And missing door. And glass from the window.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

A boundary marker for Grimstone, a suburb of Grimhaven. Grimstone is notable for having absolutely nothing of any note.

An old metal marker sign, looking a bit like a Tube station sign (circle with bar through the middle). It reads Grimstone. We have cheekily removed the word Dorset from the sign. Grimstone can be found on the A37 between Yeovil and Dorchester and has absolutely nothing worth stopping for.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Anyone being plundered by unlicensed pirates should report them to the authorities so they can be subdued and caged before being released into the wilds beyond The Wall. Failure to report being violated is a violation and may incur extra time and penalties. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Grimhaven citizens are requested to be on the look-out for unlicensed pirates. Only fully licensed pirates are permitted to carry out unspeakable acts of plunder within the bounds of Grimhaven. 🧵1/2

Jesus...where to start...? A bizarre cross between scarecrow and ventriloquist dummy, wearing a faded red waistcoat, and a neckerchief with skull and crossbones motifs. The head looks like a Victorian vicar, with bald head and grey sideburns. A small Norwegian blue parrot sits on his left and sagging shoulder. The whole thing is facing you from within some sort of wooden frame with a metal mesh across the front. And for no obvious reason, a bungy cord is attached to the mesh. It's the sort of shit that appears in nightmares.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

Grimhaven landmarks: Upper Menge Tripe Mill. A major employer in the town, providing jobs for at least fifteen unskilled workers. The mill produces some edible and many inedible products.

A semi-derelict building, small in stature, with rendering falling off the walls. There are standard sized wooden double doors at ground level, with a peeling sign above it saying 'The Mill'. Above that is another set of wooden double doors with windows. Presumably goods were hauled up and into the first floor from carts.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

The children of Grimhaven Primary School have been brightening up the town by painting murals of key events from Grimhaven's glorious past. Here we see the very first barrel-rolling & bishop-burning that took place in 1783, an annual tradition that continues through to the present day.

A mural depicting a pitchfork-wielding mob chasing a terrified priest whilst fire dominates the scene. There's tumbling barrels, skulls on spikes, and a looming figure in an executioner's hood. The whole thing looks horrific and I don't what point in history this but I'm fucking grateful I wasn't there.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

...to ensure levels of contentment do not exceed expectations. Please be aware that contentment levels may go down as well as up. Do not invest in contentment unless you are prepared to lose aural satisfaction and auditory pleasure. Listening is mandatory. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

Warning: contentment at risk. Are you content with the content from your favourite & only available shortwave radio station in Grimhaven? We have been asked by medical professionals & several amateurs to include contentment warnings on all our broadcasts... 🧵1/2

A screenshot from Apple Podcasts where, instead of the episode title, the words 'Contentment Warning' have been inserted. Somehow it is more Grimhaven than Grimhaven.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Fully air-conditioned due to lack of window glass, and heated throughout in winter when the livestock are brought in, a comfortable stay is guaranteed*. *Comfortable stay not guaranteed. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Grimhaven celebrates the arrival of a well-known affordable hotel chain to the town. The few visitors we receive can lodge in the premier facilities available. 🧵1/2

An old agricultural shed with holes for windows, corrugated asbestos roof, and two thirds of a door. Moss covers the roof, ivy covers some of the wall.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Good citizens of Grimhaven, weep not for though this is the last episode for the time being, be assured that this is not the end of your favourite and only broadcaster. You are commanded to listen and make notes; there shall be a test later.

Thumbnail image for Episode 10 - Just The Skin

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

Senorita Flagellata has a new opening at her sumptuous coastal guest house. Sea views available after a long walk from the back door. Minimum stay – 6 months. 12 months rent payable in advance, non-refundable. Counterpane an extra £100/week. Window available on request, subject to availability.

The front of a property of some vintage in a coastal town that looks...um...neglected. Was once probably a nice cafe or shop whose glory days are in the very distant past.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

Praise be to St Salmonella The Indifferent for the gift of another episode of Grimhaven Community Radio. All citizens may rejoice and listen with gladness in their hearts. But not too much gladness because we all know what that leads to, don't we? And we don't want any of that.

Thumbnail for Grimhaven Community Radio Episode 9 - Multi Storey Graveyard

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

*If you are physically able to visit the ScuzzyScooter office then you will not qualify for mobility assistance. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Grimhaven Town Council's mobility scheme is available to all who need it; if they meet very rigid criteria. Why not pop by the Grimhaven ScuzzyScooter office on Avenue Avenue and discuss your mobility needs.* 🧵1/2

Imagine a house where the Gallaghers all rode mobility scooters and left them out on the street, and filled the front garden with junk...and then turn that up to 11. That pretty much describes this scene.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Later, he returned to the deep, somewhere off Tectonic Island, dragging with him several jazz afficionados to a watery doom. We hope to see our oceanic master again soon at Grimhaven's foremost music venue, where he may enjoy the new seafood platter. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

Important visitors to Grimhaven are rare, so it was nice to see a rather dapper Cthulhu attending an evening of contemporary jazz at Ennui Lounge. The aquatic overlord dined at the inhouse eatery, Vittles & Chuck, before dancing the night away with smooth moves despite his many left feet. 🧵1/2

A large red octopus sitting atop a garden shed. It is holding a trilby hat on its head with one tentacle, and holds a silver-topped cane with another. A swordfish is in front of it.
It's a perfectly normal sight in Totnes...

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

Citizens of Grimhaven, rejoice! A new episode of your favourite and only radio programme is ready for your aural pleasure. Listening is compulsory, whimpering is not acceptable. Rejoice!

Episode 9 of Grimhaven Community Radio - Francesca Carpet thumbnail

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

The Scout hall of the 33rd Grimhaven troop nears completion. The foundation stone was laid in 1924 by Mayor Josiah Pinkleforth, great-grandfather of disgraced mayor Jolian Pinkleforth. The scouts are excited by the prospect of having a permanent base within the next decade or so.

A derelict agricultural building or industrial workshop. The roof has gone, as has a lot of the brickwork down to the lintel of the main double doors. Kind of surprising the whole thing hasn't collapsed. An estate agent would classify it as having development potential. Yes; that bad.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 02/08/2026

Due to events internationally, the local fuel emporium at Nippletuck Crescent has temporarily run out of all petroleum-based products and Bovril, on a permanent basis.

A derelict filling station in a field that has been this way since it was bypassed decades ago. It is called Blue Star and is surrounded by Heras fencing. Although not clear from the photo, there is actually an amateur rugby club pitch behind. Immediately behind; the touchline is barely 6ft from the back wall.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Citizens of Grimhaven, rejoice! Another episode of Grimhaven Community Radio has been released for your listening pleasure. You are commanded to listen and enjoy. Failure to do so will result in a visit by the authorities, and we don't want that, do we...

The thumbnail for episode 7 - Oil My Donkey

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

All users of Grimhaven public inconveniences are respectfully reminded not to deposit any logs in excess of size 12C. Please refer to the handy size chart found on the back of all cubicle doors for guidance. The owner of this specimen is requested to seek immediate medical attention.

A field toilet in a brick outhouse on Salisbury Plain. There is a pine log approximately 4ft long sticking up out of the bowl.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

The implications of the unfortunate location of these wards and the hazards they create have been discussed at the highest level, but it has been concluded that everyone is happy with things just the way they are. 2/2

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Due to the siting of the pediatric and geriatric wards of Grimhaven General Hospital towards the top of Pestilence Hill, there have been regular incidents. This has led to a perpetual cycle of patient discharges, followed by almost immediate A&E admissions. 🧵1/2

A double warning signing showing both a pram and a person in a wheelchair hurtling downhill with a vertical drop imminent. Underneath it reads 'Warning - Danger, Runaway pushchair & wheelchairs'.
Kind of want to hang around to witness the phenomenon.
Not sure why only the single pushchair but multiple wheelchairs though...

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Grimhaven Constabulary are hunting the Phantom Farter, who is dropping SBDs during events and then boasting about it through the medium of poor quality graffiti. The public are requested to remain vigilant and to report any egregious acts of flatulence to the relevant authorities.

A boarded-up doorway in a tunnel. The bottom half of the door has a sheet of plywood attached, upon which is scrawled in black marker pen, the legend 'I farted in yoga'.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

A postcard from Grimhaven. The Grimsands Pleasure Pier with the start of the collapsed section clearly visible. The upturned hull of the MV Pusillanimous may be seen in the distance.

A semi-derelict English resort pier, with the furthest most end collapse or missing.

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Grimhaven Community Radio @grimhavencomradio.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Book early to avoid disappointment*. *Early booking not available.

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