iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 12h

Hey! That’s one of my maps! It’s always fun when a map that I drew turns up in the wild. I didn’t know the article was out yet! And now I have to go read it (the English version, most likely).

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Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 13h

It's Tuesday, and you're wondering: "Why should I care about eels?" Well...in addition to being great fodder for memes, eels are super-important to stream ecologies! Historically, eels have made up as much as 50% of the total fish biomass in lower reaches of US & European rivers. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Picture of an eel underwater. The picture is taken from the side, so you can only see one of the eel's blue-tinged eyes, fixed on you like the red-rimmed Eye of Sauron (if Sauron were a happy fish). The eel (we'll call him Kryztaphix) seems like he is peeking out from a hole in the rocks. There are stones in the water behind him, one of which seems like a lovely speckled granite. Kryztaphix is a dark grey on top, and a shiny silver below. He is likely stopping to say hi on his way to sea.

Kryztaphix has a kindly smile on his face, and you feel comfortable in his presence. It's the sort of look that makes you want to spill out your whole life story, including that one time in middle school. You know the one. Kryztaphix won't judge you. He seen worse. Hell...he's done worse. And he will take your secrets to his Sargasso grave. You really couldn't ask for more.

Meme text reads:
"Half your streams
are belong to us."

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 12h

Hey! That’s one of my maps! It’s always fun when a map that I drew turns up in the wild. I didn’t know the article was out yet! And now I have to go read it (the English version, most likely).

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 13h

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 13h

Just gonna leave this here. For reasons.

A poem and a drawing. The poem starts at the top left of the page, is titled "Humanities" and is made up of a set of 6 haikus. The first and last ones are on the left side of the page, but haikus 2-5 are increasingly indented, The text of the poem reads:

Who needs history?
Literature? Languages?
Art? Philosophy?

These can only help
you to better understand
our humanity.

Best to let machines
read your books. And write your books.
Do your art for you.

You will never need
to think. Never need to learn.
You’ll learn to like it.

And when the end comes
you’ll have never burdened your
soul with any growth.

Someone selling this
sees profit in destroying
your humanity.

-- John Wyatt Greenlee

The drawing is at the top right. It's a black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines. It might look like a tree made of bird heads.

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Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Chaucer Doth Tweet @levostregc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Measuringe the value of educacioun by returne on ynvestment onlye ys lyke measuringe the value of a garden by the weight of the floweres

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Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

It's Monday! Let's start week off with a map & some eels! Here is John Speed's 1611 map, "The Kingdome of Great Britaine and Ireland." There are Dutch eel ships on this map. Can you find them? (the answer is at the end of the thread) Wait, you ask...WTF is an eel ship? 1/5 🗃️🧪

A map of of England, Wales, Scotland, and Ireland. It is quite busy with roads, and towns, and counties. There are monsters in the sea, and several ships. There are 2 large insets, one showing the a view of the city of London and one showing the city of Edinburgh. There is a smaller inset above the Edinburgh one showing the northern tip of Scotland and the Orkneys. Above the inset for London is the coat of arms for the Order of the Garter, with a lion and unicorn. The arms have the order's motto around them: "honi soit qui mal y pense" (shame on him that thinks ill of it), and below it the popular Puritan phrase, "Semper Idem" (always the same). It is a very detailed and pretty map.

"Always the same" and "shame on him that thinks ill of it" is strident rejection of the Growth Mindset ideology, and I am here for it.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The weather has turned such that I have to socks. A great injustice.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Sometimes the drawing becomes less of a bird, and more of a bird man.

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks like a long-necked bird man with stately posture and a dashing crest. Be is leaning forward a bit, and looking down, as if he’s trying to make a voice at the dessert cart. But his expression is not joyful, and his eyes seem narrowed in skepticism, as if all the desserts are banana-pudding based, and he really wanted a French silk something. He’ll eat the banana pudding treacle. But he’s not thrilled about it.

His bearing calls for a sumptuous name, so we will call him Ostentastious Gravelope.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

My day started with some “I don’t understand history as a disciple, but I’m gonna speak confidently about it.” bullshit, and it’s ending the same way. This dude is a small account, and I am not, so I’m not tagging him. But I am sending him a very hearty “fuck off and go learn something.”

Screenshot of a post that annoys me like Pepsi from a Coke machine. The post reads;

“In math (my degree), difficulty level is determined by (1) prerequisites and (2) level of abstraction.

In humanities, which save foreign language isn’t cumulative like math, difficulty is determined by amount of busy work required (amount of reading, number of papers, paper length, etc.).

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Most of the time, I draw randomly and see what it turns into. But sometimes I draw with a purpose! This is one of my favorite (fairly) recent examples: the scene with the trolls from The Hobbit. I printed it on canvas and & give it to my son for Christmas last year, and he adore it. #LoTR #Hobbit

Art. Grayscale drawing, made of abstract shapes and lines, of the scene from The Hobbit when Gandalf tricks the trolls into arguing until the sun comes up. Three trolls are around a fire, with two sitting and one standing. They are all looking to the left side of the page, where a shadow of a wizard stretches over the ground. The two seated trolls know they're screwed. One is covering his eyes, and the other is reaching out as if he could crush the sun. They both look wretched. The third troll, who is standing and holding a club, is slower. He has his finger on his lips and he's still in the middle of having a moment of realization. It's going to come too late.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

While recognizing that this is partly a reflection of differences between the UK and US models…I do think it’s kinda instructive to think about how this post would play in the world if the author had transposed “history” and “engineering.”

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Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

A drawing from this evening. Something that might be a bird in flight. I never know, when I start, what I’m going to draw (and sometimes, when I get done, I still don’t). But I very often wind up drawing bird-like things.

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing, made of abstract shapes ands lines, that might look like a bird with a long, sharp beak flapping a wing above its head in mid-flight. The bird needs a name, so will call him Ruthanos. He has a long, sharp beak that looks perfect for spearing fish or hamsters. His wing spreads it above his head, and his leg trails behind him like a dingo chasing a kangaroo (never getting closer, never getting farther). He is dynamic, in the way of a toddler before the first bite of ice cream: on the very cliff’s edge of kinetic catalogs.

God speed, Ruthanos. It’s gonna be a ride.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

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Reposted by Surprised Eel Historian, PhD

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

It's Saturday, which is as good a day as any to remind you that my #LoTR subway map makes a great gift for yourself and/or others. It looks great on my wall, so I assume it'll look great on your wall too! This map, and other such things) are available here: www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris...

Subway style map to go with The Lord of the Rings, showing the different pathways of various parties throughout the book. The title reads: "Lord of the Rings Transit Map: One Does Not Simply Walk Ino Mordor When One Can Ride." The map takes up the middle part of the page, and there are two keys. The one on the left is titles "Standard Service Lines, and has color keys matched to the subway lines on the map. Lines are named:
"Shire-Bree Commuter Line
Old Forrest Crescent
Wildland Scenic Line
Fellowship Line
Gollum / Sméagol Line
Uruk Hai Express
Three Hunters Line
Fangorn Slow Service
Rohan to Gondor Business Line
Black Ships Ferry Service
Oliphant Direct Line
Army of the West Line
Gandalf Express

A smaller key on the right side of the map is labeled: "Limited Service Lines" and has color keys matched to the following names lines:
"Eagle Express
Paths of the Dead Line
Nazgûl Search & Resuce
Valinor Ltd."

A note at the bottom reads:
"* Mount Doom station only accepts Rings of Power in payment. Plan accordingly."

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Saw this at the thrift store with my 15 yr old, and misread it as "Charcuterie Mistrial." Which would be a rather different thing.

A poster showing a pig, drawn in black and white. Arching above the pig, in capital, bold, and fancy letters, is the word "Charcuterie." Below the pig, in smaller (but still fancy) letters, is the word "Mistral." These letters are decorative, with flourishes and little leaves and such.

Underneath, in differently fancy italics, is an address reading "12 Promenade Aubert Millot, Manosque, Alpes-de-Haute-Provence.

The pig (we'll call him Bradthorpe the Round) has a resigned look on his face. His ears flop down, limp and without the sort of luster you'd hope for. His snout is primed for grubbing, but he simply doesn't have it today. HIs tail curves like a worm, and his trotters seem overly delicate for the heft of his pig-self. If you saw Bradthorpe on a bus, you'd assume he was on his way home from a rough day at work. And perhaps he is.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

This weekend brings us the Harvest Moon. I drew just such a moon not that long ago.

Art. A drawing of a gold and orange full moon behind the bare limbs of a tree or bush. The tree is done in black. The background of the piece is a grey that is as soft as a mole's dream.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

The power is out, and had been since this morning, which makes the whole “drawing lines for money” thing hard. So I’m out for a walk.

Black and white selfie of an eel historian standing in front of a fence and some trees. He is looking at you and smiling in a not unkind way. The right side of his face lies in shadow, and the left side basks in sunlight. His hair is mostly silver-white, as is hours beard and mustache. A slim chain hangs serious his neck, and his eyes are dark pools of nightfall. You might trust him with your dog, or your wallet, but not both.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

What if my interviewer offers me Turkish Delight?

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Each of these incidents is being framed as a success — a terrifying success that you must believe in and fear— rather than what it is as a criminal failure of ethics and institutional control.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Your beloved has brought you a plate of eels. This is good news! Right? RIGHT? Well...in premodern England eel was a common enough meal that it sometimes got used to disguise poison. What's that, you ask? Is it it time for a thread about murder-by-eels? Yes. Yes it is. 1/5 🗃️🧪

Meme. Painting of six people sitting at a table laden down with food, looking startled as a skeleton taps one of them on the shoulder. The skeleton is standing behind the person on the far right, tapping with its left bony hand & holding a class in her other. The tapee has his hand over his chest & a look of shock on his face: the sort of expression you would get if you walked in on your great aunt Sue in the middle of a menage a trois with some other folks from the assisted living facility.

The others characters at the table are all either leaning away from the doomed soul, or actually falling backwards in fear. Curiously, the one 3rd from the left, hidden in the shadows, looks like an angry Abraham Lincoln. But what would he be doing here? He doesn't look like part of the company; perhaps he's working with the skeleton to settle a score (one of 4, likely). The better angels of our nature, overcome by the skeleton of his revenge.

Meme text reads:
"This meal is
deelightfully deadly"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

It's time for eels & contract law! In 1890, Charles Hobbs sued the Massasoit Whip Co. He'd delivered a load of 2k eel skins to the company, but not been paid. Hobbs won, with the court finding that the company's silent acceptance of the shipment constituted purchase of the eels. 🗃️🧪

Photoshopped picture of a jar of Miracle Whip, edited to read: "Miraceel Whip."

Below that, the un-photoshopped text reads: "The one of a kind taste of creamy mayo and tangy dressing." And let me tell you what, folks: if it were infused with the souciance of eels, then it would really be a "one of a kind" sorta taste.

The jar announces itself to be 30 fluid oz, or 887 mL, of DRESSING. Why is it shouting about dressing? Is it trying to shame you for your naked, undressed slices of bread? That sounds puritanical in ways that you might not expect in a tweet about a dude who was a purveyor of whips for the masses.

There is a sticker as part of the label that looks a bit like a gold medal with a serrated edge, and it reads "Gold Standard Recipe" which suggests that this is the sort of thing that Williams Jennings Bryan would object to. He's not going to let you spread mankind upon a sandwich of gold. Free silver (eels), baby.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Eels weren't just an English thing; Scotland has an eel history, too! Famed 14th C. king Robert the Bruce loved his eels. Too much, maybe. His doctor thought the king risked his health by eating them, as eels live in "muddy & corrupt waters." Did the Bruce care? No. He did not. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Still of Robert the Bruce from the movie "Braveheart." Bobby is sitting on a throne, his hand on his forehead. He is wearing sumptuous clothes and a super-fancy gold chain with jewels. He looks kingly, but also rather hassled. His expression reads as worried and/or annoyed. He is staring straight ahead, though not quite at you. It seems as if he's looking at your right shoulder. Do you have something perched there, like a basket of baby crocodiles?

The Big Bruce is sporting a running-out of patience vibe. He's done with you and your baby crocs, and all he really wants is for you to finish what you're saying so that he can get back to bing-watching Warrior Nuns on Netflix. You're giving him a migraine, and it's going to take several bowls of ice cream to forget about you.

Somedays it's good to be king. Somedays it's all headaches and door-to-door crocodile salesmen.

Meme text reads:
"Trying to rule Scotland
But all you can
think about are eels"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

It's the Equinox...time again for me to remind you about the EquineOx: that mythopoetic, all-knowing horse/ox hybrid. Mysterious bringer of socks & other sundry goodies. A godling of the changing seasons. Friends: may the EquineOx bring you many blessing this day!

Meme. Painting of a pastoral scene with two people standing next to a horse and an ox. The ox, black with a white splot on its head, harnessed to a wagon full of hay, & cream-colored horse has a collar on, but is not attached to anything. Both animals are turned to face the two people.

One of them is a young man in a coat a wide-brimmed hat. He is sitting. Standing next to him is a young woman in a green skirt & salmon-colored jacket. Her hair is golden, she's staring at the young man. They are at the base of a rocky outcropping. The man is likely eating, because next to him is a small black & white dog who is *clearly* groaking.

In all, it looks like the man is telling a story to a rapt (if mixed) audience. All are listening while he spins a yarn about the time he slid a flounder under his headmaster's door, or about how he was the inspiration for the song "All About That Bass." Will he impress the girl? Or, at least, the ox? No.

Meme text reads:
"part horse part ox
ALL AWESOME"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Friends...do you have an eel by the tail? I hope not! That's an axiom for taking a doomed approach to something. In 1729, Alexander Pope used the phrase to scoff at folks who believe they can understand a book by reading its index, saying that the practice "holds the eel of science by the tail." 🗃️🧪

Meme. Painting of Alexander Pope, staring off to his right. He is wearing a blue robe, with a white, tight-necked shirt below it, and a teal wrap of some sort on his head. His forehead is tremendously high, and his hair is all under his amazing hat. His eyebrows are arches like delicate bridges, and his mouth does not betray any sense of humor. He looks somewhat startled, like someone asked him if he was at the Insane Clown Posse concert over the weekend. He was not, of course.

Or was he?

The light glistens off of his cheeks and forehead on his left side, but the right side of his face has, like Gandalf, fallen into shadow. Unlike Gandalf, he is painted against a yellowish-brown background which is lighter just behind his head that makes him look a bit like he has a halo of very weak coffee. *

Meme text reads:
"I've indexed you under "I"
for:
'I'd like to
report a murder'"

* I say this, but we don't know if Gandalf ever sat for a formal portrait, or went to a Sears Photo Studio.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Dinosaur Zeus. Granny Athena. Birthing comedy.

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Spidur @spidur.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Received my mug! It'll be christened with caffeine tomorrow.

A mug depicting a disgruntled spider, sitting on its web of (fake) gold.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

So. You're a medieval abbot & the king is visiting. What will you feed him? Eel! (obvs) In 1434 the 12 yr old King Henry VI stayed at Bury St. Edmunds for a bit & while he was there he ate all the usual things. You know...swans, pheasants, pike, & eels in "not moderate numbers." 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval painting of Henry VI on his throne, seated on a fancy pillow. Behind him are the flags of England & France, & he's receiving the sword of a man kneeling in front of him. Six courtiers stand just around him. Four are wearing crowns (less fancy than Henry's), & two are priests. The two on the far right are whispering to each other.

The kneeling man has a foot slipping outside of the frame of the picture. Has he maybe come from outside, to tell this version of Henry that's he's just a painting? This might explain Henry's concerned expression.

On the far right are a group of knights with their hands clasped over their stomaches, as if they'd eaten from the dumpster behind a seafood restaurant & are now regretting it. On the right are a group of wealthy looking people. One is offering a scroll, & another is pointing to his own hand, as if to ask if he, too, is only an illustration.

Meme txt reads:
"To Henry VI,
in infant bands crown'd king
Another plate of eels bring"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

A new #Narnia movie? How will you ever keep track of where everyone's going? Magicians, nephews, witches...it seems like they're all over the place. What you need, friend, is a Narnia subway map! And you're in luck, because I have one for you. And you can buy it here: www.etsy.com/listing/4345...

etsy.com

Narnia Subway Map Print - Etsy

This Wall Decor item by SurprisedEelMaps has 51 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Hialeah, FL. Listed on Sep 13, 2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

etsy.com

Narnia Subway Map Print - Etsy

This Wall Decor item by SurprisedEelMaps has 51 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Hialeah, FL. Listed on Sep 13, 2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

It's 1100. You're a peasant in Harmston, England. Congrats! It's a fine place to live. But at what cost? Eels. That's what. Each spring, the village owes Earl Hugh 75,000 eels in rent. So every fall your life becomes all about the eels.* Welcome to Harmston. Here's your net. 🗃️🧪

Meme. Medieval colored drawing showing a figure in a small boat with a large green fish attached to his head. A second fish has a grip on his oar. The figure is likely a man, but this is uncertain. His name is even less certain, but we'll call him Yedward. He seems like he's in trouble, honestly.

Yedward is wearing a long orange shirt, and is paddling his boat across a body of blue water. There are clouds in the background. He might have been wearing a hat at some point, but if he was, the fish has eaten it. He seems very concerned, and you would too. That fish on his head is no joke.

The fish has it's jaws around Yedward's head, and is arching its back so far that its tail will soon touch the top of its head. It's fins are thrust out, and it looks very graceful. We can't really see the other fish much; just it's head, with it's jaws locked around the end of the paddle in the same way that a toddler's eyes lock onto a bag of halloween candy.

It's unfair to name the man but not the fish, so we'll call the head-fish Merwena. She was raised on tales of Jonah & Moby Dick, & longs to be like her literary heroes. She's going to eat this man if it takes all day. He can't paddle forever. Especially with a hole in his head.

The oar-fish (different than an oarfish) is likely named Intercesilly, and seems like someone who's good at sudoku but not parties.

Meme text reads:
"It's gonna be a long fall"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sitting in a waiting room, drawing stuff. Like…bird heads

Art. Black and white ink pen drawing made of abstract shapes and lines that looks like the head of a bird with a sharp beak, looking from the right side of the page towards the empty white space on the left. We’ll call our bird-friend Ramblow the Marknificent.

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Sitting in a waiting room, drawing stuff. Like…bird heads

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Friends! It's the feast day of St. Hildegard of Bingen, an abbess, polymath, mystic, & eel truth-teller. Medieval thinkers agreed that eels reproduce asexually. But Hildegard suggested that eels mate at sea, where we can't watch. No one listened to her. But she was right! 1/2 🗃️🧪

Meme. Painting of St. Hildegard, from the shoulders up. She is dressed up in her nunnish finery. Her wimple is white and very creased, so that she looks a bit like a mummy and her veil is the dusky black of that suggests it's been through the wash many times. She has something like a crown on her head, with little spikes that look for all the world like duck feet. The saint's eyebrows are hard lines like windshield wipers, & her nose is ski-jump smooth.

Her head is surrounded by a nimbus of blue with a white outline, set against an orange background. She is looking up and towards your right, as if she's watching a possum that's about to drop onto the person sitting next to you. Her mouth is set in a tight smile. She's likely thinking about sex again. And maybe not just eel sex.

Hildegard provided us with the first written description of the female orgasm, so it's quite possible that she's got that on her mind.

Meme text reads:
"Medieval Eel Truth:
It's all about the Bingen's, baby!"

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

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Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Eels weren't the only eels sold in pre-modern London...the city also ate lots of small saltwater fish called sand-eels. In 1373 William Fisshe became London's official "Meter of Eels." He had to measure all imported sand eels using "a bushel set aside for the purpose as of old." 🗃️🧪

Meme. Photograph of two otters on a beach or river bank. Behind them, out of focus, you can see trees and such. The two otters -- we'll call them Kismeth and Sizemark -- are both staring off over your left shoulder, and their expression is terribly intense. Sometimes otters are fun loving. Sometimes they're cuddly, swim-on-their-back friends. But these otters are scowling, with hard eyes and flat-back ears. Their whiskers are alive with tension, and there is a hint of impending destruction in their spring-wound muscles. Shit is about to get real.

They are looking past you, at a spot over your left shoulder. This suggests that you may not be aware of the danger yet. Now...don't panic, and don't make any sudden movements. But you should probably look. Turn, very slowly, and *casually* glance back there. What is stalking you and these otters?

Nothing? Sure. It's probably nothing. No need to trust the otters.

Meme text reads:
"We're here to apply
for the job of eel meeter"

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