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Greatbob Umber

@greatbobumber.bsky.social
181 followers 203 following 1.4K posts

I used to co-write badDNDhooks at that other place. I’m Maya’s dad. That’s my actual identity right now.

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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 8h
It’s crazy how Home Alone 2 has a couple of bad guys with a history of home invasion and property destruction who are literally trying to murder a lost child and neither of them are remotely close to being the worst person in the film.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 8h
Kid is watching ET with us for the first time and we are less than ten minutes into this movie and she had asked no less than fifty questions and it makes me realize that Spielberg did a real shitty job explaining important details like “is that ET?” and “what is that red light” and “is -that- ET?”
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 15h
Mob is my favorite because I just imagine a Gary Larsen Far Side comic with kangaroos in trenchcoats smoking under a streetlight in a dark alley.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 15h
this television show my kid is watching just informed me that there are three different names for a group of kangaroos and that just seems indecisive
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
I don’t remember all of the moment-to-moment plot details from The Parent Trap, but is there a part where the two kids ask their parents how they thought it was ok to go no contact with one of their two children to the point of just never mentioning they even exist?!?
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Fire Emblem: Fortune's Weave UPDATE: Have not played a single minute of the game since my last update. My six year old and I have been playing Lego Batman, which so far is fun, though not in the way I expected.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I have spent the past week trying to figure out how to make the best SI = Sports Illustrated joke, and my best attempts to parse it out weren't even half as good as this joke.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
She plays her cards right and she could team up with Gabe Poirot and Colton Burpo, and tour the USA.
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David Roberts @volts.wtf · 05/10/2026
Holy shit.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Poirot and Colton Burpo have now locked in my went-to-heaven-naming standards. If John Smith fell into a coma and went to heaven, met God, and got a tattoo of Jesus doing a kickflip, I don't give a shit. You have to ALSO be named Holden Pucknutz or Chaz Felcher if you want my attention.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I was like 8 and playing in a room adjacent to my parents watching Aliens. I wanted something and walked in and watched like 5-10 min before they noticed I was there. It gave me bad enough vibes that I didn’t want to watch again it until I was in college.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I’ve watched this three times and it’s just gets better and better
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
My kid just threw a dramatic tantrum because she wanted to prank me but then if she did then I might prank her back. She thinks it’s unfair. This tantrum involves crying and wailing in the same manner as someone whose pet has passed. Happy Sunday y’all.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Protip: Don't
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Don’t let the sports culture talk distract you from the truly atrocious puns I can skeet.
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Rodger Sherman @rodger.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
If NFL broadcasters are going to treat Deshaun Watson being ok at QB as a sign that he has been Redeemed For His Past, they must remain ideologically consistent. If he starts playing badly again they have to blame it on his failure to repent for his heinous sexual misconduct
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I don't think the DeShaun Watson coverage should be difficult. He is a reprehensibly bad person who is playing surprisingly well at quarterback right now. You can be positive about his play on the field without at all linking it to the quality of his character because - they are NOT linked!
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Tim Carmody @tcarmody.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
This is the funniest thing I've seen today, possibly ever
A tweet by SarahStarberry that says "oh god read the vertical axis" on top of a chart measuring AI models' release dates and model numbers rather than any real capabilities
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Jason Concepcion @netw3rk.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I do think it's important to give grace to people who realize they made the wrong choice. I don't want to. but other nicer people def should do that. I dont give a shit.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I saw a man crying on the side of the road next to a travel trailer with what looked like wildebeests inside. “Whats wrong?” I asked him. “Most wildebeests are fine,” he sobbed, “but THESE ones are evil. They are monsters.” “Are you okay? Did they do something to you? Why are you crying?”
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I promise I don’t want to sound judgmental when I say this, but it’s really really hard Why are people still playing World of Warcraft? Why are people paying to play it? Why are people paying extra to replay the original version of a game that’s what, 20+ years old at this point? Why?!??0
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Vituperative Erb @vituperativeerb.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Me, a high T heterosexual man: I hate the Girls Doing Thirst Traps app,
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It’s been a decade since my dad died, I can probably handle Field of Dreams flawlessly, right?
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
is there a brown lantern corps in the DCU? just a bunch of fecal freaks with power rings?
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
Part of being old(er) is seeing posted pictures of a newly married famous couple and thinking, "that is a very gorgeous looking couple," followed immediately by, "I wonder if I am supposed to know who they are?"
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
at this point I think he has the human-diaper equivalent of a Litter Robot in his pants, and it's constantly throwing off his sense of balance, not ideal but easier for Natalie to deal with than having to do wipies every thirty minutes
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
not a great initial episode mind you, but they absolutely fuckin' nailed the title
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
this is clearly a clip from the first episode of the rightwing version of Pablo Torre Finds Out tentatively titled Eric Schmitt Eats Shit
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Whenever I see a headline that something the president did "could be an impeachable defense" I realize just how much weight "could be" is bearing in that sentence.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I genuinely believe that the most universally popular thing he could do right now is die.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
just imagine if we had a pablo torre that investigated non-sports stuff like businesses and politicians
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I get that “Phoenix” is integral to the character of Jean Grey and that all X-stories with her eventually head in that path, but I just find the whole thing a total buzzkill.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
You know the way history in general looks at the Trail of Tears? Where it sort of grants the monstrosity of it without focusing on it in depth to avoid the USA appearing to be a nation built on cruel capitalistic savagery? I think ICE is going to be viewed pretty similarly.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I love it when I see a fast food ad campaign with the central focus that’s “you told us our food was gross, we heard you, come try our new not-shitty food!!”
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Whenever I hear about GOP officials doomsaying what could potentially happen if the current trends hold up in November, I always think “Oh my, that all sounds so optimistic, I would love it if Democrats could manage half that beautiful dream.”
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Communication technology progress in my lifetime has basically been one long cycle that starts with "Promising Innovation that Will Be Convenient and Exciting to Use!" that after enough time going around the track, circles back to "Necessary Annoyance I Avoid Using Unless it's Vitally Important."
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
gonna form a band called "migrant caravan" and we'll be able to live off the proceeds of being booked solid for four months every couple of years by Republicans who can't run for office without us
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
Dietrich looked like the evil protagonist leading in to the game, now I'm just excited to discover whatever the hell is going on. Maybe he just wants to find some Johnny Depp cosplay outfits? Maybe his pet fish died and he's looking for a therapist? Maybe he's a serial killer? IT'S ALL ON THE TABLE.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'm 3/4 of the way through the various protagonist intros in Fire Emblem, and the game is gorgeous and fun and I guess I'm playing this several hours a week for the next few years of my life. Two of the three (Theodora and Leda) have pretty compelling plot arcs that I am excited to see how they go.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
The nature of Cleveland is that Watson will be just good enough for some fans to begrudgingly forgive him and jump on the bandwagon only for him to sexually assault two more people mid-game the week after the Browns trade draft picks to try and win this year.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Made it to Genius level on today’s NYT Spelling bee with 307 points. If you think I’m going for Queen Bee you can forget it. I like word games but they are not my LIFE.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
there's a NYT list going around about the 100 best TV shows of the 21st century, and look, you can debate position of specific shows all you want, but there are some facts that simply cannot be debated. Fact #1: The Righteous Gemstones does not appear on this list. Fact #2: Fuck this list.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I am mad that I read this and I'm mad that I then looked up the wikipedia entry on this, and now I'm mad because I would sort of like to post about all the absurd things about it, but doing any of that would be granting Harry Potter more cultural influence than it fucking deserves.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
camaletoe
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Ben Collins @bencollins.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
The Onion Sports handles are back! Stay tuned!
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Bildo is a hobbit that wears a strange (for the shire) red and white striped shirt and spectacles, and book readers are challenged to find him, a grey wizard, and a ring among large groups of people in various Middle-Earth tableaus such as: Bree, Moria, Lothlorien, Rohan, Minas Tirith, and more.
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
the only thing I have in common with the president is what feels like an almost constant desire to take a nap
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
it's still in my head, I even appreciate Spongebob doing the Marge and the Monorail Homer moment at the end but being too oblivious to realize it.
youtube.com
Karen's Song. Plankton:The Movie
YouTube video by Yukfoo
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I mean, a core problem is inherently that if the President decides to just ignore a court ruling, the other checks on executive power are neither prepared nor motivated to actually enforce those checks - making the checks themselves meaningless
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Greatbob Umber @greatbobumber.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
absolutely brutal in the most funny way imaginable
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