iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

here’s what i know about football so far: it’s very funny to refer to my son, who is on the second defense line, as the star quarterback

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

at my sons first ever flag football game googling what the FUCK is football

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

i got invited to a princess themed bachelorette and i thought itd be fine bc i wear a lot of skirts but it’s not fucking fine bc i’m ophelia in the water not a whimsical fairy princess

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

i spent the entire last six months saying how much i fucking hated cooking and then i quit my job and the kitchen has not stopped working since. i've always got something simmering, something braising, something baking, etc. i am a joke

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

if i had unlimited funds one of the things i would want to do is to buy a new build subdivision house and see if i could make it charming

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

menstruation? oh you mean eggs in purgatory

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

1mo into mysterious heart condition, 2 weeks into quit my job 2 b boy tradwife, let me tell you i am finding frail and sickly boy tradwife to be an infinitely preferable lifestyle to busy office worker in rude good health

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

summer is all about showing thigh and midriff at the same time. fall is about wearing a cool jacket. i’m not sure what winter is about

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

i bought some fake hair bc i had to cut my hair short to get rid of bleach damage, but my kids keep saying “vill you vear vigs?” to me when i have it on so idk may have to go into witness protection

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

unfortunately this is the vibe me and my mysterious heart condition are bringing to the family function

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

one thing parents of kids my kids age do a lot to make small talk is complain about their teenagers and i'm like nodding along to be polite meanwhile i'm having the time of my fucking life

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

home from the hospital without answers on my mysterious heart condition but praying that it is not the kind that means i can never lift heavy again because getting jacked is very important to me :/

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

i am in hospital for a mysterious heart condition and if the loud boomer men in my ward room piss me off one more time i’m leaving period blood in our shared toilet

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

also my first christmas as a full time boy tradwife is gonna be one for the history books like this bitch is getting FESTIVE this bitch is baking HELLA SHIT this bitch is going to create a christmas village that FUCKS SO HARD

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 13/08/2026

the collection of frank o hara poems i WANT is a vintage $90 hardcover in the US but in Canada it's like a cool $500 like pls it can't cost THAT much for the tarrifs or whatever

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

i am quitting my job next month to become a full time boy tradwife so i need to buy a collection of frank o hara poems while i still have an income

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

didn't play guitar for 1 full year bc my son borrowed my guitar for his band, and i played piano instead, and now i have my guitar back and the playing piano 100% made me better at guitar glory be

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

i looked at too many late90s/early00s celeb fashion inspo pics and now i'm coming back from my thrift trip dressed like a fucking freak thinking about dying my hair pink again

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

being autistic has its ups and downs fr but god am i ever good at sticking to a gym routine

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

ai on pinterest be like room inspo! what if your bathroom had the most fucked up faucet situation ever?? :)

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

few highs in life like your teenager telling you you have tough aura

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

thank u to RATM and all metal and hardcore for being the only means by which i accomplish any housework during Autistic Burnout Time

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

my kid started his first summer job today. weird shit. it does make me a bit teary eyed thinking of him out there in the world like that. used to be my funny little baby and everything

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

the only good shrinkflation is packs of bacon because eventually them shits are gonna fit on a single baking sheet to oven-bake

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

my best friend is house-sitting down the street from me this week and it's like oh shit this is what it would feel like to live in an episode of seinfeld, absolute sitcom levels of hanging out are occurring

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

they last minute needed me to cover for slides so i guess that counts. no one could see these fuckass titties because i was hiding in a booth in the back

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

so pissed off and dysphoric about my tits the problem is the same with trans tape/binders that it used to be with bras which is that most people with my cup size have a much larger band size

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

hey dont cry. cube of gorgeous summer watermelon, sprinkled with tajin and finishing salt, topped with a fuzzy peach, eaten all in one (preferably with friends) like a shot, ok?

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

i canNOT stop going to mcdonalds and ordering items from the tim hortons menu and vice versa i should not be allowed out in public

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

putting my protein shake in a mason jar with a straw so it feels like i’m having a fun little drink instead of fueling my muscle habit

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

the other night we drove around at 11pm windows down blasting queen and abba with him on aux, wild how beautiful life can get if you just hang in there

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 25/06/2026

life is fucking hard but you can listen to cake in the bigass headphones during it so there's that

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

i’ve largely conquered the irrational desire to cut bangs whenever life distresses me but unfortch i replaced it with the desire to cut the sleeves off all my shirts

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

does anyone know if there is anything left that is good to cook and eat for dinner? i can't recall anything

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

my gen a kid while i listen to sufjan: 6 or 7 swans

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

niche bookkeeper complaint: don't send me an invoice and tell me "please remit payment at your earliest convenience" bitch i'm gonna pay according to terms thats why there's terms

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

me: oh look that gate has a pheasant on it! my 12yo, slightly concerned: uh mummy isn't that a slur?

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

i got a long weird goth dress at the thrift store and i put it on to bbq when i got home and my 10yo said why do you look like a nun??? and i'm wondering if i should maybe wear it to go ride some rollercoasters at wonderland all by myself

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 18/06/2026

vocal stim i have been enjoying lately is everytime someone says a normal sentence i pick a word to say back to them but with all the g's changed to j's and the c's turned to ch's. like my kid will be like where's my backpack and instead of being helpful i just say 'bachpach'

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

purging my wardrobe by half after bed bug time i am trying on all the pants i haven't worn in 6 months and zeroing in on the idea which i have been circling for a while that what bothers me isn't being perceived as a girl, it's being SHAPED like a girl

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

i do think it's kinda sus to be straight like ok you claim to be an ally but you're still hetero????? idk about that babe

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

i don't want to go to work i want to get a little drunk and watercolour paint photocopies of moomin comic strips

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

god could’ve skipped giving me double d’s but since he didn’t it’s nice he invented the binder

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 06/06/2026

my kids have been binge watching gardeners world with me and they woke up this morning like ok mother it’s time to garden! 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 28/05/2026

in the last few months my 14yo just clicked in suddenly to being a music person and it’s so fun

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 27/05/2026

all winter every time i tried to put on my huge thrifted sandals resort tee i was like idk why i liked this so much in the summer it's just whatever, and then the first day of cooking dinner in a bikini came and after dinner i put it on and lo and behold it's the best fuckin shirt i own

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 25/05/2026

the secrets to really sick-ass strawberry rhubarb pie are: -cook's illustrated vodka pie pastry recipe cooked in cast iron -roast the strawberries and rhubarb beforehand and drain off the excess liquid for an equally sick-ass cocktail mixer -thicken the filling with tapioca starch

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

born to turn my rhubarb into really sick ass strawberry rhubarb pie, forced to prep my home for bedbug treatment

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 23/05/2026

keep my neurodivergent household in your thoughts this saturday as we get rid of dozens of really nice shoeboxes for possible bedbug contamination

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king jane’s version @gothjaneausten.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

i failed a geometry class at patrick henry college and as a direct result, married the drummer from my band instead of one of my ultra conservative classmates thank fuck

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