Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 7hjust came back from Whole Foods what the fuck is "white milk" 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 7hI fucking hate going to Batuu there's always a bunch of sunburnt guys in wrap around shades eating churros with their mouths open 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 7hAs a former jedi I have to say force healing is probably one of the easiest powers to learn. Even someone who lives on a diet of instant falafel and green milk who just found out she was force sensitive could learn it from reading a musty heavily fire damaged book and trying it one time. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 7hwe found that secret planet where they make all the special money and they were doing some corny ass steven spielberg shit so we glassed them 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 7hi think its Really Cool actually that the dark side makes your face age really fast. I'm not even a little bummed out about the very real possibility of having crow's feet before I'm 30. Maybe I want that. Maybe I want to try the milf look. Ever thought of that? Bitch? 082
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hJust used my Battle Meditation to make a bunch of ants crawl into Zaalbar's fur and it was only mildly funny. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hWalked in on Lord Revan watching My Little Orbak videos in her room and she turned on her lightsaber and everything and actually I didn't see her doing that and in fact she was watching videos appropriate for a normal adult lord of the sith. Thank you Lord Revan's hand for clearing that up. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hgot ordered to do hatred meditation in the corner for twenty minutes because I asked Lord Revan why I've never seen her jump before and honestly I think I deserve it. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hrevan force dominated someone while she was high again and now we're having a shipment of 400 crunchwrap supremes delivered to the ebon hawk and I'm trying to talk her out of trying to eat all of them. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hDarth Revan just shared a vision she had with me of the distant future where a guy absorbs a giant floating holocron on Cato Neimoidia that gives him the power to look like the guy from monkey island 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hlord revan asked me "if you lost your hands or something and got robot hands but still had enough meat around the robot hands could you channel the force with them" and honestly I don't know that sounds kind of stupid but I will admit it does also sound a little badass 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hhk-47 showed me his fursona and its just him again but with boobs this time 031
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hJust gave a Rakatan a vape to see what would happen and he immediately started doing sick smoke tricks with it and its kind of hype 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hjust found out the jedi order lifts the fuck ban if your species is endangered im literally a white girl with an ass that won't quit why didn't they make an exception for me 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hWhen Darth Malak was torturing me there was a solid eleven minutes where he tried tickling me with a big pink feather in various places. He even said "coochy coochy coo" a few times. It didn't phase me at all so he injected me with 400ccs of dragonsnake venom which was not as fun. 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hFound a crumpled up piece of paper in the trash labeled "possible darth names for bastila" I am flattered that Lord Revan thinks I might be ready for such a title but... Darth Agoni? 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hIn hindsight it is kind of weird that the jedi order only lets you dress like a desert-dwelling hobo or some kind of winter themed yoga instructor. hopefully they stop doing that. 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hRevan just now tried to use the star forge to print out one hundred copies of hk-47 and they started sucking and fucking each other like crazy and its really loud. 093
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hI am not "easy to manipulate" I am simply a very kind and altruistic person. The reason I shoot lightning out of my fingers now is an altruistic one. Darth Revan told me. 0124
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 8hreading over several sith holocrons right now to find the ancient force technique where you don't get your black lipstick all over the straw when you're drinking a slurpee I'm sure it must exist 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 9hI walked past Lord Revan's room during meditation hours and she was just saying Shadow the Hedgehog quotes to herself in a really bad Shadow the Hedgehog voice 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 9hsometimes when im eating hot chips zaalbar looks at me with his wet dog eyes because he wants some so I eat the whole bag in front of him so I can watch him suffer more 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 18hDarth Revan sometimes asks if killing a 14 year old was going a bit far but honestly I bet in the future there will be another jedi who turns to the dark side and kills like way more children who are like, way younger than 14 so honestly not that bad. And legally speaking Zaalbar did it, so like... 091
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 18hLord Revan came to my quarters, pillow in arm saying she "had the nightmare about the red guy with the tentacle beard again" I think she's been drinking too much mountain dew after 9pm. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 18hRevan just performed a Sith Chant she came up with where she just says the names of a bunch of sith lords including her own name in a foreboding whisper. I don't think it'll catch on, honestly. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 18hit was lowkey funny watching Carth shoot his shot at the very last minute moments before his death. repubLICK my balls boot boy. 021
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 19hWe passed Canderous the aux and that fucker started playing nickleback so we're dropping him off on tatooine with nothing but a rusty pipe until he can scrounge up the money for some noise canceling headphones 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Darth Revan told me her favorite life day tradition is watching weird vr porn in her living room. Zaalbar called this "unc behavior" so as punishment Revan made him forget what his favorite color was. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026usually it is my turn on tuesdays to pick the show we watch but darth revan made a good point when she waved her hand in front of my face so we are watching amazing digital circus again. she always asks me what character I think I'd be and hk-47 cuts me off to tell me he kins Jax whatever that means 110
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026Darth Revan and I just killed everyone in this failing furniture store so we can wait in the parking lot until it turns into a spirit hallowe'en but a bunch of police officers showed up instead for some reason 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026they sell lightsaber hilts at spencer's gifts you just have to look in the back 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026sometimes i use my battle meditation power to cut in line at the food court 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026had too many evil thoughts today so I had to wear sunglasses when I went to jersey mike's to use my jedi order discount. cashier definitely thought I was hung over. which I was. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026hk-47 has been sulking in his supply closet again because he asked why we don't invite him to girl's night as the gay guy best friend and we said its because hes mean to us on purpose every day 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026id go to korriban to get my degree in killing people or maybe hatred but last time i went there it was full of reddit-ass business majors and maybe we killed everybody i dont really remember 043
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026sometimes when im eating peanut butter crackers I wipe the crumbs and peanut butter off my hands on zaalbar's fur and he can't do shit about it because of the life debt thing or whatever 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026sometimes when lord revan is feeling down i set course for a planet populated exclusively by low level goons so she can shoot at them with dual blasters and deal bonus sneak attack damage like old times and it really cheers her up. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026i went to the gugan city and everyone there was talking normal 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026i can see the dialogue option box that appears under revan when she's about to say something but I just pretend not to. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026i made lord revan in lego starwars: the complete saga and keep telling her to come look and she just keeps saying "what?" but I want it to be a surprise so I just repeat myself but she's glued to her phone making a kinemaster aura farming clip compilation of herself 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026why did they put that stupid eminem looking asshole from force unleashed in lego starwars 3: the clone wars instead of darth revan she is much cooler than him and could beat him in a fight. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026at the head shop and they're out of lord revan's preferred vape cart flavor and im trying to text her what she wants instead but she keeps sending me videos of Zaalbar doing fortnite dances with tears streaming down his hairy face and they're so funny I keep dropping my phone from laughing so hard 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026the rakata empire's dominance can be found in the soft white cheeses common among many pasta dishes found throughout the galaxy such as "lasagna" and "blue lasagna" 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026i bet people would stop making fun of my actually cool double bladed lightsaber if i got a bunch of face tattoos and a black karate gi. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026I fucking hate vibroblades. my lightsaber can cut through 4 inches of solid durasteel (which is more durable than normal steel) but some guy's dinky-ass sword can block it. "oh it shakes around really fast" fuck you. shut the fuck up. im going to kill you. 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026the ebon hawk group chat has been kind of dead since we lost half of the crew to "being a little bitch about the galactic domination thing" as Lord Revan puts it 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026was lowkey hoping canderous would betray us too so I could watch revan force that sad fuck wookiee to kill someone again and also he kind of smells like gasoline and I can hear him coughing up phlegm in the bathroom at night from smoking too many malboro reds 000
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026when i duckduckgo my name on the holonet people keep talking about "mind break" and "corruption" and "instant loss" I assume these are sith powers they fear I will be using on them very soon 010
Goth Bastila Shan @gothbastilashan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026people keep asking me darth revan's "canonical gender" and really I think thats a bit rude. 010
