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@genericpanic.bsky.social
119 followers 194 following 1.6K posts

Buckle up Pal ! I write a LOT of bullshit #Guillotinonomics formerly @ tw : genericpanic, WednesdayGenpan "There's no need to fear or hope, but only to look for new weapons." -Deleuze "The most capable and ridiculously petty human I can imagine" -ChatGPT

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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 58m
What's wild about when I cook drunk Is that I never cut myself, ever, But I do burn myself, On the regular.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 4h
Imagining the song "It's in the way that you use it" by Clapton sung by Cookie Monster from Sesame Street
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Cookie Monster's Lively Dance Performance
ALT: Cookie Monster's Lively Dance Performance
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 5h
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
I'm the "Fuck atcha" of Focaccia
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 10/10/2026
Broke : "Go home or go homeless" Woke : "Get sauce or get lost"
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I am the tomb raider of self-actualization
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I am trying to dig under the pyramid of self actualization
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
I do not like that amazon changed it's mobile interface primary color to blue now I can't tell if I'm on Amazon or Walmart it's literally a color war
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Fast forward another 3 years, to 2026, and "marry me shrimp" is featured as a choice on dread sobsters endless shermp rotation
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
But, during a video shoot for the recipe, a producer tasted the dish and reportedly exclaimed : "I'd marry you for that chicken!" Fast forward 5 years later, to 2023, when the dish and many variations went viral on TikTok and Instagram.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
"Marry me" shrimp is a lesson in viral mechanics. The original "Marry Me Chicken" delish article was published in 2016, a decade ago. It was a recipe created by Lindsay Funston, then an editor of Delish, and originally called "Tuscan Chicken".
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Just made a friend date for next week for Endless Shermp, After a two year hiatus, whilst Red Bobster declared bankruptcy, it's back !
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Them : “Can you tell us the reason why you’re cancelling your appt today?” Me : “I like to schedule things and then cancel them because it feels so damn good”
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Them : “You’re so thoughtful!😍” Me : “Yeah, man… I’m full of fucking thoughts !”
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Ten Years Into It: Mass Connectivity and the Ready Mind substack.com/@secondweath...
substack.com
Ten Years Into It: Mass Connectivity and the Ready Mind
There’s a particular kind of intellectual vanity that attaches itself to the present moment — the assumption that contemporary humans represent some culmination, some arrival point, after which the lo...
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"Vinted ! when you want to make $5 an hour for your labor never mind the actual value of the things you're selling"
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
"Treat your self-deprecation and grandiosity as formal tools" SAY LEsS
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My writing is a snake that eats into me
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I could fuck my Iranian ex - bf / situationship in two clicks / minutes. bc he is my neighbor two houses down But it's just too damn perfunctory I'd rather eat pizza !
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The big problem for me is that I'm going to fuck something soon.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
it's like a fugue state it's like a dream state. it's like my clitoris behaving independently
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
the "hornies" is like a separate population of my nervous system that operates independently of me.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
It's not my fault that I'm spraying my pheromones everywhere I have no control over my body / endocrine system
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I just fell down the stairs; case in point . I'm feeble. still can fuck.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I will literally fuck you to lift heavy things for / with me
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
bc I believe that I'm more masculine than "God" bc I need "young people" to do things for me
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
But I would really love to find someone who is *truly* more masculine than me in a boy or a girl format, and, that's a tall order ….
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Historically, I've defaulted to dating older males over 65 because the smell is less pungent than younger males and because they are *somewhat* less self-centered
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
This is especially throwing me, as I envision dating younger people. my last boyfriend was 67 years old
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I am like, extremely yang yin energy the most extremely yin yang energy you ever met. What gender do you date? When you are extremely all of the genders ?
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
but they could be the only option for extreme "yang" energy ?
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I am so boy ! is it a farce to seek a boy who is more "boy" than me ? probably ? professional athletes are low-key scary because their strong-ness increases their capacity to inflict harm upon me,
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My loins are a curse !
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I'm very greedy with my sexuality I'm the type who can fuck for 8-16 hours straight. But I don't really want to fuck poly. being in a relationship with multiple people is fine. fucking multiple people at the same time is probably beyond my attention and affective span 🤣
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I was looking at these two young folk today like
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Why Not Both? The Iconic Meme
ALT: Why Not Both? The Iconic Meme
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Like : "who can wife better than me ?" and also : "who can honey-do list better than me?" I want a person who can do both and who can discuss critical theory
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Like : "who can wife better than me ?" and also : "who can honey-do list better than me?" I want a person who can do both and who can discuss critical theory
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The problem is that I'm masculine but feminine-presenting but I want someone even more masculine than me. And, fact is, many men are more feminine than me, and most women, even masculine presenting, are more feminine than me.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I haven't had sex for 5 years and I'm comfortable with that But I'm also uncomfortable with that DAFUQ
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
the oldest wins and I'm not even kidding. One is 25 which is my cut-off for casual the other TBD?
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
like, bw them and my attention I mean….
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My two light work crushes were working the same area today. THERE WERE VIBES
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My body is sending out signals my heart can't cash
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I've got a severe case of the hornys it takes me about 8 years to recover from a relationship. and 4 years to recover from a situationship. my last situationship ended in early 2022. so I'm due. FML.
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
You've heard of 'Pepé Le Pew' ? I'm 'Pepé Le Pew Pew Pew Pew' 🤣
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Pepe Le Pew Cartoon
ALT: Pepe Le Pew Cartoon
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
My homosexual ego would like to entertain the latter, my realism the former 🤣
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I wanna intuit whether this was just the cashier's misunderstanding, or whether I'm succeeding in sending "daddy" vibes
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
I bought a smoking product for a woman, inadvertently she said in passing, she was on the phone saying that she forgot to buy herself XYZ, and I chimed in "get you that then" and the cashier understood that I was paying for it. which was not my intention, but it was $1.67 so NOT not my intention
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Wednesday @genericpanic.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Bill Compton's Intense Sniff
ALT: Bill Compton's Intense Sniff
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