iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Different topic. I've been saying that I'm done with people, done trying, since June, Vancouver, and I have got to say that telling the mimics that force themselves upon me to fuck off instead of humoring their bullshit has been one of my greatest joys.

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Hour almost up. Running out of time.

I think one of the reasons I really am not at all receptive or serious about this is that the times I've tried, at one point giving clear instructions, "have a passport ready", and nothing... There's never anything... It's just so much bullshit.

Like I'm not going to have to stay there, am I? lol 2 days and we're good? What is it? lol

Say, I do run off to Portland, or LA/SD, Montreal, or any of the other places you've told me to. Say you actually do something other than harassment campaigns. What then? That isekai bullshit I've never even pretended to be receptive towards? Let me be me.

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So this is what the questions are about. So when you tell me to run off somewhere, is this just some, I don't know, metaphor or what have you? A symbolic gesture? Like I very much feel as though I'm just running off to be homeless there, and then why fuckin bother? If I'm happy here?

Refusing to run away, no matter what you're saying, and still telling you to do the thing. So there's a clear pattern here, but let's ignore that because pretending it's nothing is easier for you all. And I don't really push it, as a fault of my own.

Ignoring your medial advice. Basically refusing to go to doctors until UHC. (Literally hunger striking over this and have mentioned it before...) Choosing less food/money consumed over working out. Choosing homelessness over dealing with assholes associated with assholes I want nothing to do with.

Onto things you've imagined. "I'm worried about my health." "I fear for my safety." "I care about my wellbeing." Et cetera, et cetera. And let's look at the tiebreaker, my actions...

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I don't remember how I said it at the time, but there was at least one time when I implored you to kill me thinking it would not only end my suffering, but also thinking it would end all these bullshit games as well.

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And again, this was always me talking about me. Me being the person writing this. And no one else.

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So some things I've said. "I want to die." "I feel like I've lost the right to live." "I don't care what happens to me, just do the right thing." "I'm trying to get myself killed." "Suicide tour." "Let me take the hit." All this and probably plenty I'm forgetting I've said about this topic.

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The point is I've always been pretty open about this topic. You all just always choose to interpret it in different ways. I've never talked about it in any other way than voicing my own emotions, and you always taking it elsewhere is an abuse mechanism.

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I remember maybe close to 2 years ago, saying how much this is a living hel for me and how I wanted to die. And the response from a streamer was "fuck you" and I wasn't upset, I was confused. That eventually led me to realize the walrus song bullshit.

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Yeah, I think I'm going to post just the life and death part.

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Maybe I should post, just to ask some questions of my own...

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4fuxake @blueheartedly1.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

The gist of it is I'm fuckin done with that asshole unless he actually does something useful, which has yet to fuckin happen, so yeah, fuck him. And that I really don't care what that means for me. With quotes of things I've actually said, done or haven't done, and things you make up basically.

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Reposted by rw

Impeach his ass too 👇

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Paraphrased this. After the election... 🤔 A failure.

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Orange fuck getting impeached or worse either way.

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4fuxake @blueheartedly1.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I wrote a long ramble mostly about this but also clarifying what I meant yesterday. I don't know if I should bother to post it.

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Reposted by rw

I approve this message 👇

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In January, for sure.

Mark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Reposted by rw

Nothing to see here...just the President of the United States inviting the country he illegally declared war on to "take out" 2 major American cities. If that's not treason, what is? 🤬 Law enforcement won't hold him accountable, but we WILL! The beginning of the end is on November 3rd. #VOTE-BLUE 🌊

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IMPEACH AND LOCK HIM UP

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I will not intentionally void this ever. The *only* thing I can fathom changing anything is if maybe that asshole finishes all 4 issues mentioned, we're excluding and ignoring the 5th, before January. He needs to do that shit on his own. I'm not siding with him over it unless it's all done.

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And to make things clear. This is a transaction, not a subscription program. You're paying for services rendered over time. You're getting my loyalty on this *one issue*, not the entirety of life. And we're getting one issue I mentioned resolved, and maybe actually help improve my situation.

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So what I'm saying is, perhaps you all actually are racist, decide the glass house they're throwing from, I don't think you would do any worse than what they're currently doing. But look, I don't really fuck with you. You probably don't really fuck with me. But we both don't fuck with that asshole.

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But I'm going to get to the point. I'm sick of those weird assholes. I'm sick of awful things happening. I want to actually improve people's lives for once.

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