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Haggard Pedestrian

@gaudeeznutz.bsky.social
241 followers 208 following 2.3K posts

I formerly drafted grocery stores & currently wonder what I did to fall so far from god’s graces. Giving the best by date a run for its money. Expect skeets concerning Walla Walla. I use this account to complain

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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 23h
Stunning and sturdy!!! Gotta feel nice to see it finished!
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
I came out to my parents in 2023, posted in 2024 on the first anniversary of doing so
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Made my own black forest cake to mark the occasion
A homemade black forest cake that says “STILL GAY” in sprinkles. After eating a slice, this cake made me realize I hate both making and eating spongecake. Also, more cakes should have alcohol them.
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
happy 3 year anniversary of me coming out to my parents via cake
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
bsky.app/profile/gaud... for context
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood only says “good” when you ask how he’s been
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has never taken a bus
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood wanted Argentina to win the World Cup
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood can afford a fancy bidet but chooses not to wipe instead
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood only gives heebeejeebees
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood didn’t cry during Marley and Me
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood doesn’t think shrimp is bugs
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood’s favorite color is apartment LVT gray
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood doesn’t understand quilts
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian “Swirlie” Heywood
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood peed on the swings in 3rd grade
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood got ringworm from wrestling mats
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood was never invited to Prom
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has never been involved in a group chat
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood doesn’t even vote himself
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
jk Brian Heywood funded the Hunger Games
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood would die first in the hunger games
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood ate the last office donut
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood is diarrhea
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood drinks raw milk for the diarrhea
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood is pro-Canadian Goose
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood replaced the haystack with all needles
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood never spied with his little eyes
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood always lost at Duck Duck Goose
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood wears white after Labor Day
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has an AI girlfriend
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood leaves the tap running
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has never seen a sunset
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood is anti-fish barge
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood doesn’t even think of lamprey
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood wants to nightlight streams
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood thinks Tahoma should be developed further into a ski resort
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood doesn’t care about salmon
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood microwaved fish in the office kitchen
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood wanted La La Land to win the 2017 Oscars Best Picture
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood hates a veggie torta
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has never been to Hot Poop
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood hated Artpop and Joanne
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood preferred the viaduct
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood you put on some socks
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood has never been to the Palouse
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood didn’t wait 30 minutes after eating before he went swimming
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood was the enemies we made along the way
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood still can’t get an initiative passed
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Haggard Pedestrian @gaudeeznutz.bsky.social · 11/10/2026
Brian Heywood ran with scissors
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