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Show up. Invite the survivors as guests. Halfway thru the speech stand up and sing “The Star-Spangled Banner”. Reclaim patriotism with lots of US flags. Failing that, eat lots of beans and fart thru the whole thing.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 09/02/2026

Owl hanging out across the road from our house.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 05/02/2026

"Turning Point is also having an alternative Puppy Bowl with no black labs and no chihuahuas"

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 03/02/2026

Regardless, he knew what was going on and didn’t do anything about it.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

2026 murders of American citizens: ICE - 2 Mexican gangs - 0

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 24/01/2026

If ICE is soooo racist, how come they’re only murdering white people? /s

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Generally speaking, one cannot make a claim of self-defense when they put themselves in harms way to start with. Example; standing in front of a stopped yet running vehicle, then shooting the driver when it moves is not self-defense.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Ok so… the dictator of a South American country gets due process but the people who came here to escape his dictatorship don’t? Have I got that right?

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 30/12/2025

These musicians and artists should not be cancelling their shows at the Kennedy Center. They should show up as they are contractually obligated to do. And give the shittiest performances possible.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 25/12/2025

Start with flat rate pricing for specific treatments/procedures. Not for profit hospitals. Let’s start with why generics for drugs that have been around for 20+ years are still $400 per month?

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

I’d rather be fellated by a rabid badger.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 23/12/2025

Even if your “Master of Ceremony“ abilities suck you should go do that full time. Please.

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 18/12/2025

I once visited a sewage treatment plant in a midsized city. There was less crap there than in that speech…

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 17/12/2025

Why flood the market with cheap oil when they’re making record profit$

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 08/11/2025

Long ago, in a previous life, I had a neighbor who confided that he’d once gotten crabs…on his eyelashes. He seemed rather proud of this, for some reason…

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 30/10/2025

I hear he passes way too much gas 🤢

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Gary the First @garythefirst.bsky.social · 30/10/2025