iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Q: where does Radiohead go when they want to do crack? A: RadioShack

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

What do you call a group of men devoted to animal rights? Men o’Paws!!! Ho ho ho….

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

If my mom had a guitar and a four-track recorder while she was going through menopause, she would have put Bikini Kill and Sleater Kinney in their place.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

>be me >have one eye >people call me “fetty white” >be me >get meta glasses >people call me “walking flocka man” I can’t stop winning with these utterly based nicknames!!!!

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

All is well. Microsoft Teams came in clutch for the win. That’s very surprising coming from the company that contributed most to this country’s brain drain.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Of course Google Meet won’t transmit audio from VLC media player. If there are rebels or revolutionaries planning to overthrow the Brazilian government, please DM me with your donation info so I can send you funds.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

As of today, per the Brazilian government, my friend in Brazil can no longer join discord voice chats to watch M*A*S*H with me. This is the most stupidest fucking shit ever and I hope everyone involved gets ignored by the MSF when they get their just fucking desserts. Fucking shitnibblers.

Discord official announcement: a government order requires Discord to suspend “Go Live” and real-time video chat for users in Brazil.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

I wear meta glasses for my own protection in sketchy housing situations here in Minneapolis. If I had help getting my own house or mobile trailer, I wouldn’t need meta glasses. But I don’t, so I do. If you’re not doing anything wrong, then you won’t mind if I record for me and my dog’s safety.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

“CoComelon” rearranged is “Colon Come” and I think that’s just beautiful.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Got a pair of Meta glasses and tried them on in front of a mirror. I was immediately reminded of a joke my dad made about my prescription glasses as a kid, and it’s on the nose: Meta Ray-Ban Wayfarers are “birth control glasses”.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Chyna wishes all of you a nice sleep and sweet dreams.

A gorgeous black and tan German shepherd mixed puppy sleeping all pretty on a pillow in her very own twin sized mattress!!!

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Mother! (2017) starring J-Law and J-Bard, directed by Darren Aronosfky. Reminds me of home growing up. This will affect my trauma response if people continue to disrupt my peace and quiet up here in Minnesotan housing.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Front door shaded and closer to parking lot. Back door exposed to sunlight and a farther walk. Why would idiot shitsucking FedEx man place my Homestyle Direct free meals on the back porch? Now I have no food for two weeks. FedEx drivers are the stupidest saddest laziest shitnibblers on the planet.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

All it takes for evil to succeed is for good people to do nothing. Today in my case, I alerted authorities to a dude pulling up in the park’s parking lot and throwing away what appears to be dirty bedsheets with cartoon characters on them. There’s a reason why he ain’t throwing them away at home.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Regarding the St. Paul incident at the ::checks article:: apartment complex leasing office: Bothering your tenants a little too much can cause them to snap. Just take the rent money, send the pest control man every six months to spray the baseboards, and literally shut the fucking fuck the fuck UP!

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

Momma why splendora album in the grass on Spotify but not the Daria theme song for which they’re the most known

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Having listened to the Careless People audiobook, it’s safe to say that even my undercooked, defective self can beat Suckerberg in literally anything. Grill-off, BJJ, anything. Well, except maybe for having the longest relationship with a golddigger. He can have that win.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Yo La Tengo - The Ballad of Hot Chicken.

A plate containing ten chicken boneless wings coated in mango habanero sauce. The wings are bunched together, leaving a lot of white space on the plate. Despite the sad presentation, the food looks so heckin’ delicious you guys.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

Just saw that Afterlife with Archie is gonna be on Disney+. Did they even finish the original comic series?

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

My baby loves hearing the birds and receiving praise from adoring passerby at the park. She’s been good enough at relaxing to the point where I’ve been able to read a few chapters of a book while we just hang out. Nothing beats a good well-behaved non-verbal companion who doesn’t judge anyone.

An absolutely gorgeous black and tan German shepherd mixed puppy sprawled atop a picnic table in the shade. Behind her is a sunshiney verdant green park with trees and wide open grassy areas.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

What kind of savage beast doesn’t take the bag out of their boxed wine and lie it flat on its own shelf in the fridge for quicker access and easier dispensing?

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

The best (and only good) Stephen King novel was The Tommyknockers. It actually had an ending and King told on himself with Gard. I could reread Bobbi getting her shit pushed in every year.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Too bad I can’t spray God with a water bottle to make him put out his cigarette. I just wanted to walk my dog to the park, man.

Screenshot of an air quality map of the Minneapolis area covered in a completely red overlay, denoting a hazardous air quality index of 414.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Don’t tell me witchcraft isn’t real when we’re still letting magic words drive us into a frenzy in 2026.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

Watching Citizen Vigilante. Despite the subject matter, it still sucks because Uwe Boll is just recycling the far superior Rampage. This man is the Tool / Radiohead of movies: you know exactly what you’re gonna get from a new release.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

What did one McDonald’s lover say to the other? Wanna come back to McRib?

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Cuddling with my dog when I felt a belch coming on so I turned my head and covered my mouth so as to not be rude.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

I hate musk and trump but also I believe Tim Walz is complicit in social worker fraud. If I encounter assholes all the time, am I the asshole?

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

One of the worst things social workers ask is if you have any family. Bitch if I had fucking family I wouldn’t be asking you for help you middle school dropout illiterate piece of shit you. Member Soul Asylum? Runaway Train? Those kids ran away from fucking family for a reason. Look it up.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Of course it’s a r*dditor who “hooked me up” with an AI image generator “that has no guardrails ;]”. I didn’t believe them and typed in a taboo prompt and: Yep I’m reporting that shit to the FBI.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

Found out my plug uses r*ddit so I submitted a very detailed tip to the DEA. #nobullies.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

Gonna form a Van Halen cover band called Ban Helen Keller. So I can introduce us as “BAN HELEN! KELLER!!!!” and let people hear what they wanna hear. Happy disability pride month of the July!

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

Chyna says Happy Birthday, America. Too bad about our asshole birthday clown. Can someone get rid of him already? He’s making the kids uncomfortable.

A pretty black and tan German shepherd puppy sitting pretty on an American flag lawn chair.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

Still on my first watch of M*A*S*H and Frank Burns can trump Suck’s dick.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 02/07/2026

July is Disability Pride Month. Keep ignoring those texts and don’t spoil your halo effect by inviting people like me to attend your hangouts and game nights. No need to have a constant reminder that we’re all fragile squishy bags of meat that could break at any time. I don’t blame you one bit.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Hey Valve, I love Steam, but can you not make it part of my weather forecast? Thanks! Signed, Sweltering in St. Paul.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

Ay yi yi, I had another bowl of heaven today.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

If you are socially shunned because of a difference, making that difference the entire basis of your personality isn’t the winning move. Try incorporating some actual hobbies or skills into your persona. Signed, someone who doesn’t make throwing tantrums on the ground my entire personality.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

Got my Brazilian friend hooked on M*A*S*H. I’ve been streaming a couple episodes to him a day and he’s hooked.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 23/06/2026

Cringing at the time I saw TLC’s “Ain’t 2 Proud 2 Beg” video on MTV and was so aroused and turned on that I begged my mom for their cassette when she went to the mall.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Can you tell how much my dog loves going to the park?

An absolutely gorgeous black and tan German shepherd puppy lying on a picnic table in the midst of a verdant green park. The grass is freshly manicured and there are a bounty of trees in the background.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Gonna go to the Finnish Bistro soon and if That Sign is still up, I will be justified in doing a dine and dash.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Watched The Last Boy Scout and there’s literally no football games irl that has been played in those dark rainy foggy weather conditions.

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Gary Carver @garycarver.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

What sort of mouse icon do people with Tourette’s use? A cursor!

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