Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 31/12/2024top 5 years for novelty NYE glasses: 1: 2020 2: 1001 3: 0 (giant monocle) 4. 1969 5. 8000 B.C 1534 53
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 13/12/2024"Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?" "you mean cheese?" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] "that does make more sense actually" 414618 146
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 07/12/2024nobody goes over Niagara Falls in a barrel anymore 810214 102
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Before doors were invented people had to stay in the room they were born in for their entire life 6623 62
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 03/12/2024I don’t think I’d enjoy being sucked off by mr bean. looking down and seeing him do an enthusiastic thumbs up in between slurps would be hard to process 6403 40
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Just put my Christmas tree up… …my ass 😈 4341 34
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Will I understand Nosferatu if I haven’t seen Nosfera? 0312 31
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024can’t find my daughter’s elf on the shelf so I’m just gonna say it died 2410 41
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 23/11/2024wanna feel old? breakdancing cop was 11 and a half years ago 1280 28
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 23/11/2024"sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?" "officer, I'm..." *turns to camera* "double jointed" *cop starts breakdancing* 08710 87
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Throwback to when my son landed the most demanding acting role of all time 4533 53
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024my dog’s reaction to his birthday muffin 0361 36
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Say what you will about Matt Gaetz, but he’s tough on crime. For example he just brought down Matt Gaetz 01029 102
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 17/11/2024if anyone is into music check out a band called the Beatles. you won’t regret it 1112211 122
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 15/11/2024“this is your pilot speaking. The bad news is that I’ve fallen out of the plane. The good news is that the range on this Bluetooth headset is incredible” 350751 507
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024How it feels using BlueSky after 12 years of Twitter 3819 81
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024This tab is like if someone described the exact opposite of me 1703 70
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024I genuinely think that if he tried, Matt Gaetz could eat a basketball 0341 34
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Was gonna repost some of my old tweets but the Bruce Willis ones haven’t aged well… 8242 24
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Ah that’s such a nice thing to say, thank you 110 1
