Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 31/12/2024top 5 years for novelty NYE glasses: 1: 2020 2: 1001 3: 0 (giant monocle) 4. 1969 5. 8000 B.C 1534 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 13/12/2024"Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?" "you mean cheese?" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] "that does make more sense actually" 414618 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 07/12/2024nobody goes over Niagara Falls in a barrel anymore 810214 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 05/12/2024Before doors were invented people had to stay in the room they were born in for their entire life 6623 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 03/12/2024I don’t think I’d enjoy being sucked off by mr bean. looking down and seeing him do an enthusiastic thumbs up in between slurps would be hard to process 6403 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Just put my Christmas tree up… …my ass 😈 4341 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024Will I understand Nosferatu if I haven’t seen Nosfera? 0312 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 30/11/2024can’t find my daughter’s elf on the shelf so I’m just gonna say it died 2410 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 23/11/2024wanna feel old? breakdancing cop was 11 and a half years ago 1280 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 23/11/2024"sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?" "officer, I'm..." *turns to camera* "double jointed" *cop starts breakdancing* 08710 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Throwback to when my son landed the most demanding acting role of all time 4533 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024my dog’s reaction to his birthday muffin 0361 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 21/11/2024Say what you will about Matt Gaetz, but he’s tough on crime. For example he just brought down Matt Gaetz 01029 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 17/11/2024if anyone is into music check out a band called the Beatles. you won’t regret it 1112211 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 15/11/2024“this is your pilot speaking. The bad news is that I’ve fallen out of the plane. The good news is that the range on this Bluetooth headset is incredible” 350751 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024How it feels using BlueSky after 12 years of Twitter 3819 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024This tab is like if someone described the exact opposite of me 1703 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 14/11/2024I genuinely think that if he tried, Matt Gaetz could eat a basketball 0341 0
Fred Delicious @freddelicious.bsky.social · 13/11/2024Was gonna repost some of my old tweets but the Bruce Willis ones haven’t aged well… 8242 0
