Your friendly PTA president is back with just a few requests for this year's Trunk or Treat...

Stargazing session ends in tears

I’m the problem; it’s me

I have my limits

I wanted my kids to have no shame about sex, so now I have to answer the shameless questions

Have a cardio blast with your kids and build bigger biceps before they say they’re bored again

Seriously, it was one small mistake over 65 million years ago

Ok, I’ve been prouder

I will not hesitate to put them down with prejudice

But you will, because you ruined my summer

Let’s make some memories

Being raised by an astronomical body is hard

Being raised by an astronomical body is hard

Don’t embarrass yourself by not adequately traumatizing the young ones

And is too tired to sugarcoat this

Featuring one lazy river, two teenagers, and one woman who should have just taken them for ice cream

First we exercise. Then we drink beer.

What if your dreams grew up with you?

Neglect is trending!

COURT: This court will come to order. Counsel, you may proceed with your cross-examination of the witness.

There’s no telling what I agreed to in an 11 PM fugue state

But only at night

And gives some important advice to her teacher father

No, I don’t need a babysitter; I just need a break from Pretend Play

My Pleasure

Because if Grandma skips one event, her grandchild will be in therapy till college

Presenting the Mom-Sense Media App!

Kinda chic for you and your newborn to both be in diapers.

Catastrophe lurks behind the forgotten electric scooter

I have a 30-minute monologue, and I’m not afraid to use it

They all look the same, right?

A royal decree on the great rewiring of the young blood of the dragon

Sorry, I don’t make the rules

As reviewed in Condé Nast Toddler

Budgets, backyards, and Boeing, plus Gloria the dog and her “mother” guarantee nothing goes easily

These aren’t wants, their socially needed

On solo parenting and chaos

I knew I was destined for fame

The sanitized family story, retold by someone who knew better

After all, it’s my butt on the line

I’m speaking for all of us

The best co-parent I’ve ever had was made of felt

We’re getting too old for fighting or flighting

Coach struggles to inspire five-year-olds

No plate is getting out alive

Not that parenting is a competition

Before we send you off into this big world we call Earth

It’s your tough, plastic exterior