iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 6h

My favourite piece of art? Hmm, I would have to say Pat Bren's 'Caught on church webcam doing James Bond pose!'

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 11h

[doing my longest ever 'yeah boi']

Signed copy of Reece Shearsmith's Things I Took From the Dark

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 15h

Really sorry to hear that, pal.

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

[reading that during tea break down Mola Ram's mines, breaking rocks and getting my head kicked in by an 8-year-old]: some guys have all the luck

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

ITV have stuck all the Hammer House of Horrors up on YouTube. Absolutely disgusting graffiti in Rude Awakening. Vile language. No wonder Denholm Elliott looked so shocked.

Very upsetting graffiti reading 'RUMPY PUMPY'

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Accurate apart from my beautiful hairline

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

"I'll have the Beano Classic, my good waiter"

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Now available for all, teens battle a roster of deadly Videators under the disdainful gaze of Bob Mills, Jet gives hints in a greenscreen sex dungeon, and David Walliams arses about. My new video looks at Sky One's exceedingly 90's Games World. www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wFn...

youtube.com

Games World: Reformatting a Classic Genre

YouTube video by Stuart Millard

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Spooky season is here, and in this month's essay, Inspector Morse discovers the one thing scarier than the Devil. The existence of Keith Allen www.patreon.com/franticplanet

Morse wearily looking at loads of Satanic sigils

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Monthly Patreon thread. Tiers start at £1, with 8 years of work; 962,00+ words, hours of audio and video. Here's a public index of all the posts: www.patreon.com/posts/26784352

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

An indescribable Lovecraftian vision no man should witness

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

I believe she inspired the name of Smashing Pumpkins

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Dreamed of this meme and wrote it down at 4am: News Reporter: "Charles Manson is the most dangerous man alive!" Manson: [trading card of Beast Man from He-Man in camp, effeminate pose with the text 'LITTLE ME, MAGGOT GUTS!']

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

"Is that where you keep all your jokes?" Me: "Yes, they're my..."

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Hopefully it keeps him from getting to any TV studios

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Ghouls with knotted hankies on their bonce

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

me: [slinking past a row of empty urinals to a cubicle] the urinals:

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

"Please don't be alarmed, my friend and I used to work at the penis unit. You have well-bad nob-ache" Me, grimacing, doubled over: "Tell me something I don't know!"

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I reckon his lifestyle isn't that hard to emulate. Get yourself a string vest, go from there.

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I'm all about that b-boy life (the b stands for Bobby Davro)

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Underrated bit thanks to the powerful sax

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Wishing you the Happiest of Birthdays!

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Reposted by Stuart Millard

Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 23/11/2024

"Fine, I'm coming over, but you'd better not be Syd Little dancing to the filthy sax from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome when I get there." Me:

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

You should've said you were a representative from Amstrad there to make an onscreen apology

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Now available for all, when you (an honest Brit) got bilked out of your savings or found woodlice in your Pot Noodle, who did you call? My new video sidesteps potential death-traps to celebrate the white knights of consumer rights, BBC Watchdog. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OsW...

youtube.com

BBC Watchdog: The White Knights of Consumer Rights

YouTube video by Stuart Millard

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"The power's in the plates, you silly gubbins!" A month early for Patrons and YouTube Members, a new video untangles one of the cornerstones of hauntological old telly, psychosexual folk horror melodrama (for kids), The Owl Service. www.patreon.com/franticplanet

YouTube thumb for a video about The Owl Service

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

"Got your big plate (covered in Owls), Millard?"

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Hopefully he'll be able to afford some proper eyebrow dye now, and stop using Father Christmas's boot polish.

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Not often you see something for a pound and can't believe what a rip-off it is.

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

PM pledges to bring back wanking in the stands at football games. "It's unfair to make fans go 90 minutes without a tommy tank, especially as the ball is the same shape as a boob."

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Turns out there's another exhibit in the Five Star/Matt Bianco rude caller canon

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

While the headmaster was talking, Sid Owen wandered onto the stage. He'd gotten lost on the way to an audition. "Got a bog I can use, mate?" he asked, "me willy's fit to burst!" As he strolled out of the hall, he parted with a lovely big smile and a "be lucky!" to chants of "Ricky! Ricky!"

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

The timing of those cuts is magnificent

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Stuart Millard @franticplanet.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Derek Acorah (in a Canadian accent during Sky's Chris Benoit: The Live Seance): "say hello to Jim Johnston for me"

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