President Donald Trump has declared war on Artificial Intelligence after ordering Americans to adopt the term “Super Intelligence.” The Pentagon now faces the unprecedented challenge of defeating two letters without accidentally destroying the English language. Federal officials are preparing mandatory rebranding programs, intelligence certifications, and a military campaign against the alphabet. Victory is expected as soon as someone figures out how to spell America. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking absurd updates with politics, entertainment, and more.

The Pentagon deployed infantry units to Lower Manhattan to enforce a strict 3.5 percent yield ceiling on 30-year bonds at gunpoint. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking absurd updates with pol...

The Cedar Bluff City Council has officially authorized the immediate deployment of Sentinel 7000 units, flock traffic cameras now standard with machine gun turrets. These units use 'proactive kinetic ...

Democrats are very jealous of Trump era $39.5 trillion debt achievement. America hit record borrowing levels with complete confidence. The milestone proves superior fiscal management to the rest of th...

Capital One finally revealed why it terminated nearly 400 Trump business accounts: a drive-thru cashier got suspicious after reading the deposit memos. — Satire news from The Folly Times. Breaking abs...

Tired of high grocery and fuel bills? The Department of Commerce just declared printed receipt totals completely non-binding proposals written by biased woke registers. — Satire news from The Folly Ti...

Pentagon auditors revealed an emergency $180M modification to the gifted Qatari Air Force One jumbo jet to replace standard landing stairs with a motorized gold escalator. — Satire news from The Folly...

White House advisor Stephen Miller issued an urgent bulletin instructing patriots to monitor Target registers for non-citizens buying patio furniture with stolen DOGE tariff dividends. — Satire news f...

The Office of Government Ethics cleared Truth Social to sell ultra-fast presidential feeds to Wall Street, provided national trade policies include standard social media disclaimers. — Satire news fro...

Prosecutors dropped felony charges against David Hearn after admitting the Reflecting Pool’s new blue sealant was peeling from botched installation, not vandalism. Trump had blamed vandals for months....

Former kickboxing icon Andrew Tate launches a revolutionary venture behind bars using commissary seafood as high-yield equity. Inmates leverage canned sardines to achieve elite status and dominate cel...

President Trump Seeks Root Password to take exclusive control of federal election rules. The Court is reviewing an emergency motion that would let the president decide which ballots count. States woul...

Trump Inc. Celebrates historic profits as American families tighten belts. Over $2.2 billion flowed in from crypto, golf, and overseas projects. Most people still struggle to cover basic costs. — Sati...

Solo dining reservations jumped 23% as Americans embraced peaceful meals without negotiation, small talk, or shared dessert. OpenTable says individual diners also spend more than larger parties. Resta...

LinkedIn Infographics become the official Pentagon war metric. Future conflicts will be judged by how good the bars look. Actual battlefield results now rank second to visual clarity. — Satire news fr...