iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

it always feels like it's my fault at the end of the day for not knowing or having the thing everyone else does, n that it's my fault bc i should've let the weird assholes i keep finding keep being weird assholes instead of having boundaries in the first place

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

i feel like i am going to go insane trying to talk to people n in groups n almost always getting ignored anyways it makes me feel like i'm not actually genuinely real and like im actually dead n haven't noticed n that's why no one's saying anything back

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 04/11/2025

g&b chat is so awful half the time n full of people complaining n arguing over pointless things. so i like hitting them with a random food question like "do you guys fw brisket" & it instantly snaps them out of it

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 20/10/2025

scrolling back on some stuff we wrote in a priv server during a Shitty Period w/ Him a few yrs back n if none of the shit we wrote to ourselves wasn't an early sign of our plurality, then idk what is

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 16/10/2025

i'm already so impatient n nervous i neeed to skip to the part where we're anxious as fuck over stabbing a needle in

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 16/10/2025

visit yesterday went well despite being so so stressed the entire day n now all i have to do is wait once more until the prescription's in our hands.., we're so fucking close

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

the biggest issue is our voice n i'm still a little scared of being a long while on hrt n STILL sounding annoying asf to ourselves anyways. idk maybe this is just usual pre-t "what if i still don't like it" fears

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

coping rly hard w the 4 days until our clinic visit by obsessively searching up every little info n random people's hrt timelines as much as we can ( i am really anxious over 50 things )

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 10/10/2025

im so sick of having worsened memory

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 28/09/2025

disc servers are so cliquey that they will Ignore you if you aren't in their Acquaintance Circle & accepting random dms from people has only led to friends who disregard boundaries or become so overly attached they spiral & kill themselves if we don't confess our love to them day 1 wtf do we do

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 28/09/2025

when will i make friends who actually like me ( and aren't creeps ) ( and not weird ) ( and aren't willing to let me drown in a cold lake alone )

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 23/09/2025

we were gonna play little nightmares 3 demo w our partner n was so confused n getting distressed abt why it kept suddenly disappearing whenever i tried to open it. i forgot my kamvas technically counts as a 2nd monitor i'm never getting used to this shit

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

i am in a dire need for beef veggie kebab in general actually

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

there is an extra packet of chili but i do not know where else to use it. i must find beef and take it into my own hands

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/09/2025

been thinking abt beef kebab with sichuan chili powder for like the past two weeks ever since we went to a bbq i miss her

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

we still have our issues w/ fearing perception & objectification now, but it happens way less often than it could've when it's being w/ someone who just. allows us space to be & won't shove us into a box for convenience or self-interest. no making up doll versions of ourselves in their head.

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

i still think abt the time i told our partner abt the times we would be forcefemmed and secretly seen as a Girl just donning on fun little labels, or shoved into a binary box by him+friends. & their response was "if it's anything, i don't see you as a man either"+

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/09/2025

i don't know if our ex still stalks our socials yrs later and we will continue w our usual anyway even if he still does. but if there's one last thing i can rub in his face, it's now being in a loving T4T relationship w our partner where we genuinely feel safe, personified, & respected.

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

ive been wondering why it was so silent for so long but forcing themselves to speak where they aren't comfortable & being expected to know people back or seen as an extension of someone else isn't something we want. i think its genuinely stunting our growth as a system

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 01/09/2025

been frontstuck for so long and it's taking a toll on me but i cant do anything about it because i'm always needed n expected to be there for something but no one else wants to front bc they're not comfortable talking around our friends yet but there's nowhere else to speak in

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 10/08/2025

we’re boutta see a whole wave of people putting “homestuck fans dni” on their strawpage

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

-i still keep hesitating and staring at the "order" button bc i'm not used to spending a huge chunk of money n i'm way more scared of the risks of delivery theft / mishaps

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

w that being said, our kris has told us all the reasons we should replace our laptop as soon as possible w how much it's degraded n how much frustration it's given us & how getting the new pc will keep us able to not go insane w/ frustration & navigate the internet better. and yet-

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 03/08/2025

having some savings and calling it "emergency money" has kinda fucked us over because now we can't even define what an actual emergency counts as in the sense that we could be at risk of homelessness rn and we'd STILL think that's not enough good reason to dig into our savings

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

i just want to be able to play n actually consider getting games without dragging other people down.. we've grown up playing everything under 15 fps and everything taking 5 mins to actually close it's getting ridiculous

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

we keep thinking abt reopening comms now that we're looking for something to properly replace this laptop for good since it's been degrading heavily this year.. but that'd mean setting up info and figuring out new prices n all that and we just can't be bothered

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/07/2025

somewhat unrelated note though if you assume all of us are gonna be friendly bestie sunshine n rainbow headmates or that we are gonna act like our source we are going to fucking kill you sorry. i've already played these games before :broken_jeart:

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/07/2025

everytime a popular post talking abt plurality or DID in general pops up n my tl, i have to restrain myself to not look at the post or even its replies bc then i'll get reminded abt why a lot of systems generally mask / hide n it makes me sad

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

which is what i'd say if we actually worked w/ in-sys communication more and knew how to easily switch voluntarily

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 13/07/2025

ive been a lot more irritated n pissed off lately i think that means it's time to leave front

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

we're trying not to let the association ruin it too hard but i don't know. a lot of the others are too worried about them just being Porn Material again if someone else externally rekindles their interest in said oc again

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 01/07/2025

who knew an oc that used to give us so much joy to talk about has now ended up giving us so much suffering and conflict internally even now. lol

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 28/06/2025

i never thought abt ranch was made of but i never expected it to just be sour cream n mayo

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 26/06/2025

i hate being frontstuck as the default front / host no matter how blurry everything gets, bc i just end up never giving anyone else time to front enough to talk to people or figure themselves out so they just end up going quiet for a long time

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 14/06/2025

out of literally every single character to introject from after playing n replaying deltarune i did not expect it to just be a kris fuckin dreemur n nobody else

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 09/06/2025

guess who had to pk;m new for myself

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 08/06/2025

"i can't tell if i'm new or this is just temporary so lets just do nothing to see if the feeling goes away" "it's been 3 days now. why is that feeling still here"

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

feels like air has changed n now we're too strange and outlandish and weird to be interacted with ever since coming out as a system. everyone who says they liked us has suddenly stopped barely acknowledging us. am i going insane

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 04/06/2025

so alienated n unperceivable from everyone that don't even know if we're real anymore

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

the second time we saw it it kept chasing and hovering over us into the ship but not doing anything that was the scariest shit of my life

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

i like lethal compnay's new bird enemy it spawned first map and instantly tore our bodies to shreds

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

our driving instructor stopped mid lesson just to fill in a drivers test appointment for me n then went to take a shit & it's in under 2 weeks im cooked

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 29/05/2025

art fight is coming up and i actually don't know how to go abt using it to represent different headmates other than like. colours and eye shape / types n maybe clothing. i want it to represent us better n let it be more varied but im so clueless lol

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 25/05/2025

our mom had beef w/ the fact we roast them so she decided to cook herself some in a pan with just butter instead n that shit was genuinely so bad i could see why it's so hated. it was chewy n tasted raw

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 25/05/2025

i know brussel sprouts are generally unpopular, but we've never had them ever until we got given a bag of them to roast and now they're literally our favourite veggie ever. maybe a bit more than broccoli even

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

we might as well also have multiple people active at the same time too but that's also hard for us to figure out lol

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

i think ever since last new guy showed up, we've been more conscious of who's here rn and i don't know if this is a direct result of that or if there's actually someone else as well or someth else. or if some of us just do not want to be known to certain people?

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

been so blurry lately that by the time we think we've figured out who's at front, suddenly someone else comes in and we're back to being frustrated over not knowing who we are

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✦ @fileware.bsky.social · 19/05/2025

*certain liminal spaces because i know some are actual photographs of actual empty buildings but those are Not what i'm talking about.

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