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Nicholas Peterson

@fencingmonkey.bsky.social
105 followers 88 following 1.2K posts

Cinephile & tabletop gamer. Depression & absurdism. Tender & flaky.

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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Gail I just. *Just* put on my Sunday shoes. What exactly do you expect me to do?
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 09/08/2026
“Let’s get dangerous” — Darkwing Duck, ripping off the condom
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Ah yes, the famed “juggalochronology shibboleth“ method
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 23/07/2026
I can see it. Once a potato starts moving (towards my mouth), no force can stop it (from going in my mouth).
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Incidentally if you search “Tarzan Conan sword fight” you get some very different results. Not saying they’re bad, just be prepared.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
My man looks like a Nazi. Just a straight Nazi. Like if you asked me to picture a Nazi I wouldn't picture Henry Gibson from the blues brothers, I'd just picture this.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 17/07/2026
Inside of you are two wolves
Picture of a Steven Spielberg box set resting on top of Vincent LoBrutto’s biography of Stanley Kubrick
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
i don’t have enough time
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
I also keep doing this, because learning is for suckers. I was so relieved in my last campaign when the players really engaged with the guy that was just me doing a Paul F. Tompkins impression. That guy could show up every session.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Look folks if it’s this or fimbulwinter let’s unleash Fenrir and get it over with
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
Heads up to everyone who's going to decide to do a Sam Neill dive this weekend and is about to hit Possession for the first time, you are in for a ride
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
My wife is 0.6375 Gay but 0.8729 Cheese
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
I’ve learned two easy ways to tell if your wife is gay (these work outside of Skyrim too btw): 1) edit her character/data/personal registry and check the “preferences” options 2) is she gay
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Cowards, this is clearly the number two issue afflicting the nation
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 11/07/2026
The greatest crime Murder, She Wrote perpetrated was introducing a generation to Angela Lansbury without properly explaining that in her prime she was a total smokeshow
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
At one point I googled "how to tie shoes better" because I was tired of my double-knots coming undone and guess what my shit stays tied af now
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Ilúvatar spoke, and he said: ’No theme may be played that hath not its source in me. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful.’ Ilúvatar pointed at the yellow blobs. ’Except those things. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with them’
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Kind of feel like Platner is the one who tanked Platner’s campaign so it’s weird to see people yelling at literally anyone else about it
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 07/07/2026
Some people paid attention during The Lighthouse, and some didn’t
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
The Nixon/scab thing would be *new*; the product of a novel vision — a stupid vision, but one that on some level says something to someone. This generative nonsense is definitionally incapable of saying something that hasn’t been said before, and the closest thing it has to a vision is “boobs good.”
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
cosmic cube more like cosmic coke can
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
The list of HD-2D rpgs I’m very interested in has slowly ballooned over the last few years and Nintendo decided to put all of them on sale so I’m about to spend a bunch of money and then complain about not having enough time.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
It’s fine, gamergate was equally concerned with news journalism, games journalism, and the amount of sodium in my dogs’ beef snacks
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
Of course it would be funny if it happened on Saturday but remember there’s no bad timing for it. Friday, so we can make “missed it by that much” jokes? Sunday, like it was just to spite us? Five minutes ago, before I started typing this? All hilarious.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
Paynan got new boots
POV shot of a pair of shoes.
Who is Paynan? Why are his boots relevant?
It seems like Paynan has been getting a lot of boots. Does he not know how to care for boots? Does he suffer from boot addiction, using footwear to fill an otherwise empty void?
Also they are hiking shoes, not boots.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
It's not a bad way of dealing with tigers, but you are missing out on a valuable butter source
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Nationalize👏 the 👏 Terminators
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
You don't know the half of it
static.klipy.com
Hellraiser Pinhead
Alt: Pinhead from Hellraiser. Did you know he wasn't originally called Pinhead? He was "lead cenobite." And honestly he went through a lot of work, sticking those nails in his head. Pretty small-minded of you to reduce that to "Pinhead."
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Huh. I've got metal dice, and resin dice, and Zocchi dice but I've never heard of "enough" dice. I gotta go buy some.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Turns out we’re cool, but she does think they’re cowards for not including the Apollo 11 footage
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
Googling “which slang terms are appropriative” and becoming extremely sad
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice & Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice & Abbott & Costello Meet the Mummy
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
FINALLY something I can rephrase in iambic pentameter The mites come out your facial pores at night They fuck, and then, they go back once again
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
The shoes weren't really the worst thing about Imelda Marcos but they're a useful shorthand
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
(Calvin's Dad voice) Actually everyone in the past was gay. They didn't become straight until the 80's, and it was a pretty flimsy straight for a while. Everyone just seems straight because all the media we have from that time are straight recordings of very gay people.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
Ahh okay. Unless you’ve got a *very* broad definition of “hero” I’d skip secret six and go with her birds of prey. S6 is very found family good feels but even when they try to be good they are distracted easily and often.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 25/06/2026
What are you into? I think the Gailest Gail you can Gail is Clean Room vol 1 which is one of the few horror comics that scares me. If you don’t like horror either of her Secret Six runs are good. The “Money and Murder“ trade is a high point and crap we’re doing horror again. My bad.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Evergreen post
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
To be clear I'm not saying I'm going to buy this without discussing it with her and she'll be mad. I'm saying the very fact that I want this will put irreparable strain on our marriage.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Almost posted this with the typo "flim" and I think that's appropriate. Fear and Desire is a flim. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is a flim. Battlefield Earth is 90% flim and 10% starwipes.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I like that it specifies "13 features" and then lists 12 "films in this set" because let's be honest no one could call Fear & Desire a "film"
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Well, that's it, my wife's gonna leave me
criterion.com
The Complete Kubrick
A titan of cinema whose influence extends across visual art, philosophy, politics, technology, fashion, and beyond, Stanley Kubrick created an unprecedented string of masterpieces, from Paths of Glory...
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
I’m sure Smurfs aren‘t as cute as they seem. You have to figure the show focuses on the camera-friendly ones but there’s gotta be Tax Evasion Smurf and Farts in Elevators Smurf and what have you.
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
A perk of having like 9 people that read these things is that when I find a typo a week later I can just delete and repost and feel no shame
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 21/06/2026
A reminder that while the current dumbest way a president has died in office remains ”ate too many cherries“ Trump has always been one to shatter precedent
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
(Not really on-topic, pretty niche references, needlessly profane)
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
Advertise your BlueSky account with a Simpsons GIF
static.klipy.com
The Critic Rosebud Frozen Peas
Alt: Clip from The Critic, which is decidedly not The Simpsons, of Orson Welles advertising Rosebud Frozen Peas as “full of country goodness and green pea-ness.”
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 20/06/2026
There’s a certain build of dog that’s big and floofy enough that when it curls up to sleep it’s indistinguishable from laundry, and while that’s not for me I respect that there are people who see that and think “yes; no notes.”
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
If your movie makes 100x its budget and you don’t call the crew and tell them they all get 10x bonuses you’re part of the problem
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Nicholas Peterson @fencingmonkey.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Give everyone who worked on this movie way more money I’m not kidding
polygon.com
Obsession continues to break box office records as it prepares for its next big milestone
The viral hit horror film Obsession is nearing yet another impressive box office accomplishment.
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