Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 11/06/2026Corporation Tax collywobbles: 1. File tax return in timely manner. 2. Wait a year. 3. Get fined by HMRC for not filing. 4. Send HMRC proof that you did, in fact, file your tax. 5. Get a letter saying you need to file your tax for ONE DAY last year. And so it goes… 050
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 31/05/2026Spare a thought for Arthur Wood, a jobbing library music composer who had only just started receiving appreciable royalties for his work when he died. The theme tune to The Archers. Has there ever been a complete recording of My Native Heath? I only know of recordings of 3 of its 4 movements. 180
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 31/05/2026I remember that week. We’d moved house on the Saturday and I had measles. I spent the week sitting miserably in bed with a transistor radio for company while my poor mother unpacked an endless stream of boxes. On a more positive note, it was the week I discovered Radios 3 and 4. 001
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 31/05/2026The Dreaded Auntie Sheila, who had form for buying Cliff Richard records, announced he’d “gone too far this time,” like he was Johnny Rotten or something. 050
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 30/05/2026Lacking a proper Crystal Baschet, I cobbled this together with half a dozen wine glasses, water, a moist finger, and lots of patience. The country was in lockdown. Time was the only thing that wasn’t running short. Double LP, CD, and digital download available now at fasttunes.bandcamp.com 082
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 29/05/2026The Churchill who, famously, detested the BBC? That Churchill? 130
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Tom Baker’s most memorable line. bsky.app/profile/andr... 020
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026In the silent version of Blackmail (1929), the Whites’ loaf is sliced lengthwise. They must have had a huge toaster. In both versions, the knife is revealed to be clean after the murder. This means that Mr Crewe was cooked through. 020
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026I see what you did there. “Lost their shit.” Applause. 110
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026I’ve got the jingle going round in my head now. “Check it out, check it out!” 001
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026Brigit Forsyth told me and my mother I was “a lovely, polite little girl” when I was 8. I was a boy. bsky.app/profile/kayl... 060
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 28/05/2026When Stephen Milligan‘s death was announced on the news, I didn’t catch the first name and thought it was poor old Spike at first. 010
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 27/05/2026I wrote to Pebble Mill some time around the year 2000 to point out that a their stock footage of the North Staffs Royal Infirmary showed a building which had been demolished a good decade earlier. They sent somebody out to update it shortly before they tore the rest of it down. 050
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 27/05/2026Round about that time, a teacher of mine insisted it was pronounced “Minnog,” to wind the kids up. Analogue. Monologue. Catalogue. Minogue. I couldn’t fault his logic. 030
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 27/05/2026I was the voice of DEFRA on Farming Today for one week in 2003. bsky.app/profile/kayl... 030
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 27/05/2026I was the voice of DEFRA on Farming Today for one week in 2003. 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 26/05/2026The nastiest of the premium brands by far, until they outsourced manufacturing (the era of clear shells in novelty colours.) The felt pads were guaranteed to rot and shed inside your cassette deck. Should have spent the extra 10p on TDK. 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 26/05/2026I still think “Blue Heaven Is A Place On Earth” is the better lyric. We didn’t get Radio 1 on VHF for another couple of years round our way. 010
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 26/05/2026You’d be thrilled if you were sitting on a lot of warm valves. 020
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 25/05/2026Pick a Bond villain from the photos already on your phone. 130
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026She made 3 lovely albums before she transitioned. 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Jim Davidson’s Little Acorn & 2 Crab Apples, more like. 020
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Ye Gods! youtu.be/zdKiERHttZc?...youtu.beCilla Black - Norwegian Wood (1971)YouTube video by Mac Pattaya 110
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026There was a 10-second long cutdown version, too. Just the last scene. 010
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Her version of Act Naturally has done the rounds on the bootleg market (because Ringo was on the show that week.) That’s, erm, a thing. I’d like to hear her singing You Know My Name, Look Up The Number. All of it. 120
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026It must have been special for dad to remember it so clearly. Apparently, the backdrop was a crudely painted cyclorama of a street of terraced houses which looked as though it had been borrowed from Play School. “McCartney’s committed some musical crimes over the years, but he didn’t deserve that.” 120
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026My dad said that the Cilla version of Penny Lane, performed on BBC-1 when it was still a recent hit, was the most tasteless thing he’d ever heard. It had a “good evening friends” coda: “So now you know the score, ‘Cos all these things and more, They happened On Penny Lane.” Mercifully wiped. 230
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Thank you. The Major needs a new needle for his gramophone. 020
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 24/05/2026Double LP. CD. Digital download. fasttunes.bandcamp.com 085
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 12/11/2025Gavin Sutherland Fans! I’ve found what might be the last surviving sealed copies of 4 albums I recorded for Gavin back in the 2000s. All proceeds to go into the Saving Up For Vol. 2 pot. tinyurl.com/nw95tnurtinyurl.comPardon our interruption... 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 08/11/2025SALE! SALE! SALE! PLEASE BUY OUR RECORDS! THE MAJOR WILL NOT STOP SHOUTING! bsky.app/profile/fast... 001
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 01/11/2025PRICES SLASHED IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS! SURPRISE YOUR LOVED ONES ON CHRISTMAS MORNING WITH A BLAST OF THE SWEENEY! fasttunes.bandcamp.com/album/the-ne... www.ebay.co.uk/itm/40582709... www.ebay.co.uk/itm/40634188... www.ebay.co.uk/itm/40528402...fasttunes.bandcamp.comThe Next Programme Follows Shortly, by The Fast Tunes Orchestra arranged and conducted by Gavin Sutherland50 track album 01614
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 03/09/2025They knew how to build a good shockmount in 1935, even though the mics could barely reach 150Hz. 010
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 03/09/2025“I’d like to publish the sheet music, Gordon.” “Get onto Hamlyn’s, Freddie. They’re doing the printed merch.” “Won’t they package it as a children’s book? The music is a bit advanced for children.” “It’s 13 bob a copy, Fred. Everybody’s got to learn somewhere.” I’m 49 and I’m struggling with it. 040
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 02/09/2025Trumpton, 1967, and Paul Hamlyn Limited can’t decide on how Mrs Cobbit spells her name. I’m sure Mrs Honeyman would have told them if they’d asked. (Yes, I know. They lived in different towns.) 150
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 01/09/2025Gavin Sutherland's fantastic composition Gairloch Variations is out today on Spotify. Give your ears a treat! open.spotify.com/track/10PWHB...open.spotify.comGairloch Variations 021
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 25/08/2025Badly-framed image of spurious printout intended to suggest something is afoot.jpg 050
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 18/08/2025TV in the background, 20 years ago: “We’re introducing the new Sugababe. And you are…?” “I’m deranged!” At least that’s what I thought she said. I’ve just found out she was actually called Heidi Range. Me with my finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist, there. 071
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 08/08/2025I’m only assuming it’s not mid-side because it’s Decca. 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 08/08/2025But it’s good stereo, just not mono compatible. There’s a solid centre image. It might even be mid-side with an outrigger on the piano. There’s no way of correcting for that (unless you involve AI, I suppose) without throwing the piano out of phase. It should decode to surround nicely, though. 110
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 08/08/2025That would make sense. My favourite engineer. 000
Fast Tunes Ltd @fasttunesltd.bsky.social · 08/08/2025It’s essentially reduced to two mics - the main stage mic, and the piano. I know about the phase problem because one of the Hattie Jacques tracks is in stereo on a compilation. I’ve added the stereo to my want list, but I’m questioning myself whether I’ll ever listen to it. 110