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chrismorgan

@fakeaccount.com
853 followers 455 following 830 posts

Baltimore MD | he:him:his | Moody, Standard and Poor

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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 20/06/2026
I bring you
A black cat with only the faintest shred of white showing lies upright in an open windowsill, behind which a large holly bush can be seen. The cat is staring directly at the camera because she cannot cooperate.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 16/06/2026
I'm not sure how i got on the text list for Frederick Country Republican voters but i think i found my way off
The actual verbiage isn't important, it's a text message trying to encourage me to vote Republican in the promises to protect a Maryland county where i don't live from the horrors of Unions and boys in girl's bathrooms
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 15/06/2026
Seriously what the fuck is happening here
A close up of a human hand, except it's mangled in the way only a digital artist with extreme hallucinations could manage
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 14/06/2026
Nice treat to leave the ballpark to
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 13/06/2026
Hell of a day for a game.
It's a hell of a nice day at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, the best stadium in baseball
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 11/06/2026
9/25
Deltron 3030 tour poster displaying their headlining dates and other dates supporting Gorillaz
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 05/06/2026
Buying this was in fact the correct move, I am happy with this purchase
A Keeley compressor guitar pedal, rebranded as the "Cat-Comp Compuressor+" in a sparkling green color with a b/w cat face drawing below the footswitch.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 04/06/2026
Sorry to hear this. Here's Basil pretending she didn't slash my wrist open by freaking out this morning
Black cat with white toe "socks" cleans her feet while lying sideways on top of a plastic bin
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 03/06/2026
It's honestly so much easier if I just show you
A blackwork tattoo design featuring a cat lighting a bowl protruding from the body of a large fish. Smoke emanates from the mouth of the cat and that of the fish.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 28/05/2026
Fuck all this, says Basil
A mostly-black cat sits inside a deteriorating Amazon box that is just slightly too small for her frame
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 26/05/2026
Had my 50 year reunion today (hospital updated to current)
An aging gen-xer standing in front of the doorway to the Gettysburg Hospital
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 22/05/2026
Trying to think how i would react to seeing one of these on a person in the wild
A light blue T-shirt with a rendition of the famous photo of billionaire scumbag Elon Musk smoking weed on the Joe Rogan podcast, captioned "DOGE Department of Ganja Efficiency"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 22/05/2026
Omar. The Wire. "Oh, indeed."
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 22/05/2026
Boy have we got some tips
A screenshot from the Feedback page of the Baltimore Banner newspaper, where instead of a simple form submission it directs the reader "To contact our newsroom, email us at tips@thebaltimorebanner.com"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 16/05/2026
I've said before that someone should do a documentary about Baltimore music but Skizz might deserve his own tbh
Baltimore music mainstay Skizz Cyzyk preps to play with yet another band
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 16/05/2026
This was a lot of fun, and i forgot earplugs just like in the 90s
Set list from the Baltimore Metro Gallery EMF show
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 14/05/2026
Continuing the list of things that aren't getting the advertising they should, this Saturday is also Charm City Stomp! at Peabody Heights. This was a hell of a good time last year and the bands this year look no less entertaining.
Flyer for Charm City Stomp! an all-day surf/garage/caveman rock & roll shindig from 12pm - 10pm on Saturday May 16 at Peabody Heights Brewery. Lineup (loosely) includes: 

Noon: Flying Faders & Apollo 66
230ish: Garage Sale, Bali Lamas, Ubangis
430ish: Monsters From the Surf, Go Dog Go, Lonely Teardrops
7sih: ZOCKO! and TarantinosNYC 

Also featuring interstitial music from DJ Skizz Cyzyk, DJ CCow, DJs Surf & Turf, DJ BuMpenstein and DJ El Suprimo.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 13/05/2026
I think about this chart* every time I see someone shocked that social media teams would focus on Youtube instead of Bluesky, and well... * Pew Research, November: www.pewresearch.org/internet/202...
Pew Research chart showing % of US adults who say they use varous social media apps, going as follows: 

Youtube 84%
Facebook 71%
Instagram 50%
Tiktok 37% 
WhatsApp 32% 
Reddit 26%
Snapchat 25%
Twitter 21% 
Threads 8%
Bluesky 4%
Truth Social 3%
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 11/05/2026
Drawing of a small and for-some-reason pink potato captioned 
"I am a tiny potato and I believe in you, YOU CAN DO THE THING"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 29/04/2026
It's a wacky video game about rolling up objects, and the level select screen looks like this. (Technically this is the sequel called We Love Katamari but a- I doubt knowing that would've helped, and b- whatever)
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 24/04/2026
Who's your birthday twin
Mr. Miles mthrfckn'-Kind-of-Blue Davis holding his trumpet and staring into the camera lens
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 24/04/2026
I haven't seen this mentioned here so please know that in addition to the other awesome things going at PHB this weekend, you can come out tonight to support your friendly neighborhood sandlot baseball team
A flyer advertising a fundraiser for the sandlot ball team the Baltimore Hellbirds, Friday April 24th from 7-11pm at Peabody Heights Brewery. The flyer has a mohawked baseball wearing flame-decal sunglasses and includes: 50/50 raffle, live band, silent auction, drag & burlesque, and fresh oysters. The classic movie Major League will be screened.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 16/04/2026
Bluesky status account can't spell 'regions'
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 09/04/2026
Hell of an album
Album cover to the 1976 ZZ Top record "Tejas"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 07/04/2026
At least we have our priorities in order
The "trending" widget on bluesky.app, showing that our top 5 trending topics are
1. JD Vance
2. NCAA Basketball 
3. Wolverines
4. CM Punk
5. Trump
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 04/04/2026
Helped this character back to the respite of Lake Montebello, nature remains undefeated
A turtle climbs up from the track around a Baltimore City lake, headed for the lake but blocked by a fence it won't be able to fit through without help
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 02/04/2026
Attn Baltimore: I believe information wants to be free so everyone thank Josh for this IG post.
Instagram photo description containing the presale ticket code for a big show in Baltimore at the end of May
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 01/04/2026
Bless you O'ssky
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 30/03/2026
So that's what the nest in my holly tree was about
A recently-created squirrel climbing to the corner of a house
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 15/03/2026
Search your camera roll for "hell"
A cold case full of differently-colored and flavored cans of an energy drink named "Hell."
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 14/03/2026
When your space vidyemogame gives you this ship and the ability to name it, there's only one possible option
Video game screenshot depicting an Explorer-type spacecraft with an extended upright wing on the right and no wing on the left, at the top the ship's name is One Armed Scissor
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 13/03/2026
Whoa WHOA completely missed this news, $50 though :/
An advertisement for the Mekons USA 2026 tour date at the Ottobar in Baltimore MD
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 12/03/2026
The second panel of the Simpsons "worst xxxx so far" meme, with Homer saying "Lousiest Smarch weather _so far_"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 12/03/2026
"What? Leave me outta this"
It's Strong Sad, the saddest Strong brother from the Homestar Runner cartoon website
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 12/03/2026
"Iran News" is absolutely not any official Iranian news outlet and TBF I'm not sure Mrs. Betty Bowers is the most credible source for anything either
Mrs. Betty Bowers' patreon header image, "The gospel according to Betty" where she has given herself the nickname "America's Best Christian."
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 08/03/2026
I know smoking gives you the munchies, apparently it worked in reverse for this ShopRite shopper
A grocery cart with three empty palm leaf wrap containers and a paper plate full of the contents from said wrappers
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 06/03/2026
Angels: "You fucked up a perfectly good AI is what you did, ...."
Twitter post by Polymarket reading:
BREAKING: Anthropic CEO says Claude may or may not have gained consciousness, as the model has begun showing symptoms of anxiety.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 05/03/2026
Dad's dad: BPD officer, killed in the line of duty by a drunk driver Mom's dad: Radio and electronics repair, researcher at Hopkins doing (??)
Sign the over hung on my grandparents' house advertising "Radio repairing, Airial [sic] Installation"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 05/03/2026
I almost did! But getting slapped in traffic did not make the paper whereas the car fire did.
A photo from the Baltimore Sun paper, captioned "One-alarm blaze in city garage" showing a parking garage with clouds of smoke emanating and a crane attempting to mitigate flames. Beneath the photo is a charred remnant from a car bumper with the license plate still attached.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 27/02/2026
post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed
A beach in San Diego on a very cloudy day
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 22/02/2026
having a packet of this at 11pm will surely not turn out badly tomorrow right
A package of Samyang buldak spicy ramen
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 13/02/2026
Gonna be that day all day apparently, Dear Sun editors
Achewood comic panel in big letters, "it's a fuck you Friday"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 13/02/2026
Coincidentally, happy 5th day of every week of our lives from now on to Meta especially
Title panel from an aged Achewood comic reading "It's a FUCK YOU Friday"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 12/02/2026
Joe Isuzu (David Leisure) promises things, but you cannot rely upon them because he's always lying.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 11/02/2026
Not necessarily beautiful, but stoned
Sitting on top of a stone coaster is a white plastic foot for a box fan, the kind that slots into the metal frame to hold it upright. The foot has been 3d printed and shows very slight signs of roughness in between parts but they do not matter.
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 10/02/2026
It's ALIVE!! (It wasn't yet when i took this but it is now, and we're about to have two intact feet for the box fan again)
A 3d printer stands atop a work bench against a wall with an overly messy kitchen rack shelf on its left and a concert poster on the wall to the right
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 10/02/2026
DOT: we have plowed the bike lanes, because we love more than just cars and drivers! 39th St Bike Lane:
Tyler the Creator declaring "So that was a fucking lie"
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 06/02/2026
Okay, I had to look and it *is* actually very funny
A comment from the Fox News 'article' about Jamelle Bouie from user "Eye see them coming" that begins:
"Janelle Bouie is nothing other than a racist loud mouth black woman..."
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 06/02/2026
What can i say, all my favorite bands ride in vans
The ice cream van pictured on the cover of the KLF's "Justified and Ancient" single
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chrismorgan @fakeaccount.com · 30/01/2026
It's Fizzgig, the pet of Kira in The Dark Crystal. Though seemingly cute and innocent, he can bare his fangs to protect his mistress.
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