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Stephanie Fairyington

@fairyington.bsky.social
94 followers 126 following 23 posts

I’m a writer in NYC. My book, Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter, just came out via Pantheon. www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/76…

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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 4m
She's not entrenched in popular orthodoxies that blind her to anyone's full humanity, no matter their ugliness. She's truly in a league of her own. And a breath of fresh air.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 5m
It's a kind of magic—something ineffable, even spiritual—that she achieves, in part, because she approaches her characters and their life circumstances, no matter how ugly or cruel, with a hyper-specificity that seems not to be defined or informed by a prefabricated point of view. 3/3
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 6m
People think of her as dark, and while that's superficially true, the profound humanity, nuance and complexity of her creations reach a realm that transcends darkness. 2/3
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 7m
Perhaps no one has taught me more about ugliness -and the beauty that also lives within it- than my favorite writer, Mary Gaitskill. 1/3
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 2h
Thank you so much for this coverage, Basje! I wish I could read Dutch!
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De Groene Amsterdammer @groene.nl · 01/10/2026
De druk van het schoonheidsideaal wordt hoger. Afgelopen jaar verschenen er drie boeken over, van Tatjana Almuli, Stephanie Fairyington en Giselinde Kuipers. Ze vertellen hoe we eronder lijden. We vergelijken en beoordelen, voelen constant de druk perfect te zijn. 👉 www.groene.nl/artikel/laat...
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Basje Boer @basje.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
🎀
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Basje Boer @basje.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
But what would it look like to lean into, rather than resist, the ways we misalign with the status quo? What might we gain by seeing beauty more expansively?
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
When something or someone deviates from societal expectations, we call it "queer" or "ugly." We dismiss, demean and degrade it to cope with the discomfort of the challenge it poses to certain orthodoxies and power structures.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
Can’t wait to read this! She’s the best- so cool and brilliant, too.
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
For @altajournal.bsky.social, I'm thrilled to have reviewed the inimitable @susanstryker.bsky.social's new book, CHANGING GENDER. It's fantastic and fascinating and she is an incredibly generous thinker and scholar: www.altaonline.com/books/nonfic...
altaonline.com
Gender Epiphany
Historian and activist Susan Stryker traces the evolution of gender as a concept.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Happy birthday #BiWeek GLR! Thank you so much for letting me write this meaningful piece for you 20 years ago.
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The Gay & Lesbian Review / Worldwide @glreview.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Happy #BiWeek! 💖💜💙 Why is it so hard for our culture to wrap its head around bisexuality? In our July–August 2005 issue, journalist @fairyington.bsky.social confronted how the persistent “hetero-homo dichotomy” marginalizes bi identities: glreview.org/article/article-1129
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
Thank you to my favorite neighborhood cafe and hangout Le Libre Cafe — and its lovely owners Patricia and Herman — and our beloved local paper, The Sunset Post, for supporting Ugly and other local writers and artists in our beautiful Brooklyn neighborhood.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
2/2 As our institutions of learning and their stewards/professors remain under attack by sadistic and imbecilic forces, I want to express my gratitude for your efforts to expand our humanity and understanding through literacy and for your painstaking work, producing high-quality scholarship.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
1/2 Nothing is ever accomplished alone. My book,Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter, owes a huge debt of gratitude to so many people, but particularly the brilliant scholars, thinkers and writers I relied on to place my personal story within various historical, cultural contexts & theoretical frameworks.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
I want to get one for my teacher friend!
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
So cool!!
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
This is what my book Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter is *really* about — and my greatest hope is that it empowers women and girls to live and think against, and beyond, destructive forms of behavioral and aesthetic conditioning.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Thanks so much @joshuajfriedman.com for the boost and your kind words! It means a lot.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 09/09/2026
This is what my book Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter is *really* about — and my greatest hope is that it empowers women and girls to live and think against, and beyond, destructive forms of behavioral and aesthetic conditioning.
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Julie S. Lalonde @julieslalonde.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Gloria Steinem died with fewer rights than she had during her lifetime. That fact needs to be front and centre of every media report, every dedication, every discussion of her death.
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Steven Beschloss @stevenbeschloss.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
“Remember, the Constitution doesn’t begin with, ‘I, the president.’ It begins with, ‘We, the people.’ ” —Gloria Steinem at the 2017 Women’s March
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
So excited to share this essay for @guardian_us on the likability imperative and its relationship with aesthetic demands on women and girls. Thank you to Estelle Tang for helping me make this piece a stronger one with her sharp -- and deeply sensitive — edits. www.theguardian.com/wellness/202...
theguardian.com
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked?
An over-investment in people-pleasing can be emotionally costly. Here’s how I’m training myself to be OK with letting people down
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Thank you Tim Pfaff and @bayareareporter for this lovely review of Ugly! www.ebar.com/story/169556...
ebar.com
Stephanie Fairyington’s book, ‘Ugly’ – The lesbian journalist’s look at appearance-based discrimination
“Lookism,” a newish name for a time-dishonored discrimination based on people’s physical appearance, is examined in depth by Stephanie Fairyington in “Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter."
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Thank u so much @bostonglobe for the chance to write this piece — so meaningul to me— for the Ideas section of the Boston Globe. It’s not just about ugliness as resistance; it’s about expanding what we perceive as beautiful to nullify the very idea of ugliness. www.bostonglobe.com/2026/08/22/o...
bostonglobe.com
There’s more to life than being pretty - The Boston Globe
I’m trying to teach my daughter a different way of seeing beauty.
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Irish News 🇮🇪 @news-flows-ir.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked? An over-investment in people-pleasing can be emotionally costly. Here’s how I’m training myself to be OK with letting people downA few months ago, my 10-year-old daughter and I went to our neighborhood cafe. At the counter,...
theguardian.com
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked?
An over-investment in people-pleasing can be emotionally costly. Here’s how I’m training myself to be OK with letting people down
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Guardian US @us.theguardian.com · 19/08/2026
An over-investment in people-pleasing can be emotionally costly. Here’s how I’m training myself to be OK with letting people down
theguardian.com
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked?
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The Guardian @theguardian.com · 18/08/2026
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked?
theguardian.com
I’m 50 years old. Why do I still struggle with the need to be liked?
An over-investment in people-pleasing can be emotionally costly. Here’s how I’m training myself to be OK with letting people down
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KERA Think @think.kera.org · 03/08/2026
Stephanie Fairyington is a journalist who writes on gender, sexuality, family and parenting. She joins host Krys Boyd to discuss her perception that she didn’t live up to modern standards of pretty.
bit.ly
Ugly is a four letter word - Think
Stephanie Fairyington is a journalist who writes on gender, sexuality, family and parenting. She joins host Krys Boyd to discuss her perception that she didn’t live up to modern standards of pretty.
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Just Darling @darling121.bsky.social · 03/08/2026
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The New Yorker @newyorker.com · 24/07/2026
Discrimination against the unattractive is widespread—and widely tolerated. www.newyorker.com/culture/open...
newyorker.com
Should We Do More to Fight Looks-Based Discrimination?
Discrimination against the unattractive is widespread—and widely tolerated.
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steve3797.bsky.social @steve3797.bsky.social · 21/07/2026
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
It's silly to read every single action a shitty person makes as being proof of their shitty evilness. Shitty people also do normal things for normal reasons. That doesn't make them less shitty or evil! But reading them as having such coherent motivation gives them more credit than they deserve tbh!
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
I’m
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The Atlantic @theatlantic.com · 01/07/2026
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look. Ilana Masad on Stephanie Fairyington’s “Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter,” and the upsides of defying beauty standards:
bit.ly
The Freedom to Be Ugly
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look.
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The Atlantic @theatlantic.com · 01/07/2026
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look. Ilana Masad on Stephanie Fairyington’s “Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter,” and the upsides of defying beauty standards:
bit.ly
The Freedom to Be Ugly
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look.
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The Atlantic @theatlantic.com · 30/06/2026
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look. Ilana Masad on Stephanie Fairyington’s “Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter,” and the upsides of defying beauty standards:
bit.ly
The Freedom to Be Ugly
A new book asks what we might gain if we accepted the way we look.
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Terrified and excited to have this piece out in the world--for @theatlantic.com, I wrote about Stephanie @fairyington.bsky.social's memoir, UGLY: A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER, and about the freedom of opting out of trying to look good: www.theatlantic.com/books/2026/0...
theatlantic.com
The Incredible Freedom of Not Trying to Look Good
A new book explores the benefits of accepting ugliness instead of trying to change it.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
Such a smart and insight and honest reading of the Ugly, @ilanaslightly.bsky.social. Thank you for this review.
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Kate Tuttle @katekilla.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
This, plus anger = engagement = metrics that look good to the powers that be. We see more and more rage bait as the traditional economic drivers of journalism disappear.
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CNBC @cnbc.com · 30/05/2026
Judge temporarily blocks Trump's $1.8 billion 'weaponization' fund
cnb.cx
Judge temporarily blocks Trump's $1.8 billion 'weaponization' fund
A U.S. judge on Friday temporarily blocked President Donald Trump's administration from setting up a nearly $1.8 billion fund to compensate victims of what Trump has called government "weaponization."
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Ilana Masad @ilanaslightly.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
Thissss. I think you'll really love Ugly: A Letter to My Daughter by Stephanie Fairyington when it comes out in May <3. It's about a lot of this.
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Longtail News @longtail-news.bsky.social · 07/05/2026
Feed: "Literary Hub" By: Stephanie Fairyington on Thursday, May 7, 2026
lithub.com
What Our Ideas About Ugliness Reveal About Our Anxieties Surrounding Gender
I was assessing my face against my mother’s from my earliest memories, or rather the world around me was, and it was consistently communicating—in a quizzical glance or a compliment withheld or a h…
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The Rumpus @therumpus.net · 04/05/2026
"In that airy void, there are no borders, no allegiances, no preconceived notions, no judgements." Our next Letter in the Mail comes from Stephanie Fairyington, author of Ugly (@pantheonbooks.bsky.social). Subscribe to Letters in the Mail today: buff.ly/HJumddz
Stephanie Fairyington's name written in white at the bottom of her author photo. To the left of her name is the book cover for Ugly with the Letters in the Mail stamp overtop.
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parker @p42k32.bsky.social · 31/03/2026
Erasing ugliness flattens truth and silences margins where freedom grows. Beauty gates and makes us miss voices that trouble power; will we listen past pretty to heal the world? www.vox.com/the-highlight/482373/ug….
vox.com
What do we lose when we erase ugliness?
Beyond the beauty binary.
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parker @p42k32.bsky.social · 21/04/2026
Ugliness reveals truth; erasing it hides justice. Beauty masks reality; the scarred push toward mercy. See more here: www.vox.com/the_highlight/482373/ug….
vox.com
What do we lose when we erase ugliness?
Beyond the beauty binary.
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Stephanie Fairyington @fairyington.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
@katekilla.bsky.social and @bostonglobe.com Thank you so much for publishing this great piece on Ugly. So fun talking with you Kate!
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