iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

My entire being is screaming I NEED to be somewhere super quiet for like an entire day but I don't know where is such place. Should really look into getting those loops or earplugs

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Everything feels "too loud" lately even a small sound from the cars outside while covering my ears drives me up the wall God this sucks

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Tbf fortunes weave has such good character designs in general lowkey everyone kinda hot

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

The fun thing having a fellow aroace pervert sib w/ similar interests is that we freely thirst over fictional characters regardless of gender and lowkey need more friends like these

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

🔞seggs!!😱😱 spent too much time making it a mini game within procreate

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Contemplating if i should call out of work for today...

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Earlier was my cousin's funeral but i purposely stayed up late so i can "avoid" attending virtually at 5am... not out of disrespect, i don't think I can handle seeing what she's now after what happened. even if I didn't attend im feeling the grief again

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Claude von riegan you are Inside Of Me .

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

not saying i need a brat tamer bf but getting my soul pounded thru the mattress and thru the soil back to where my ancestors bodies lay rest sounds about good rn

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

I dont watch csm but angel is my ideal gender man

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

I agree people must draw more curvy femboys.

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Holding back the horny but good lawd that zzz femboy jane doe mod is making me feel things down below and I need more nasty fanart of him

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

i WILL bag that 30 something year old

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

why is my scraeibbles acc getting a 'not enough resources ' error LET ME IN!!!

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I want to say it's on me since this is the path I chose but also my 'choices' are limited due to neurodivergence. I do really want to bring a change I wish to see but my brain has 918382 tabs open and taking my meds makes my hyperfocus on a side quest instead OTL

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Random stream of thought since I'm more at peace being online less and playing viddy games on my switch than doomscroll or join fandom spaces. Though I do need to actually manage my online accounts and draw stuff..... Art takes so much time why can't it immediately materialize how I pictured it.....

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

I think "who embodies qualities I avoid" explains it better than "lives" since the world is shite to begin with

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Everywhere else, and idek what's even in that game that attracts those kind of people? It's not even a good game. Well I can only roll my eyes at it now and I do like to live by my "don't listen to the opinions of someone whose lives embody something I avoid" or somewhere along that

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Kind of annoying the only instances of online drama I'm somehow involved in is from that one niche mmo and I'm rather happy that a lot of people who left that game share the same sentiment of being toxic and has 818482 niche community dramas. I have never encountered petty stuff like that irl or /

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/08/2026

Somehow I may have fixed whatever was wrong with my body post fever by taking one tablet of zinc supplements..... Okay good to know !

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

Would love to snack on truffled brussel sprouts rn but I have neither truffle oil nor brussels... Dunno what veg I have in the fridge that I can roast that gives the same texture as the Brussels but I can probably try using olive oil instead

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I'm also the type that doesn't eat breakfast except for toast & coffee cuz I feel nauseated if I eat properly before 1-2 pm😔 losing weight is the only pro in this situation I do not recommend anyone developing eating disorders this shit suck

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I *can* continue lifting heavy stuff at work at least, but I'm bothered at my body getting cold much easier than before I got sick. Well I suppose it helped me finally get that calorie deficit and eventually hit my weight goals but it's not exactly a healthy one...

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

hmmm I think I developed an eating disorder during/after I got really sick a couple weeks ago :/ I'm in a constant hungry but no appetite state and find it very difficult to eat an adequate amount without feeling awful. Also noticed my arms feel cold easily if I don't wear long sleeves

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Not looking forward to potentially meeting more rude healthcare workers but unfortunately a surgery is needed.... Here's hoping the specialist is nice unlike the nurses and non-ER physicians I met last week......... Literally only the ER doctor was nice and actually cares

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

So close on making another wahh wahh art until I ate But the meds making me feel nauseous tho. Thankfully it's the last day for this one. But also having low appetite directly affects my serotonin levels and been having crying spells

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

didn't really care about him before because I wasn't a fan of sui sibs lore at first so I never knew what he sounded like I genuinely did not expect him to sound like an old Chinese man. Every second he asks me why I still tend to war for solutions or that he made a thousand moves in one breath.

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

i need chongyue to get me pregnant first tho before i get taraxacum pregnant

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

idk why i kept getting dupes of him but i might invest n get him gregnant in the future. hes cute too tho

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

Social anxiety be damned you can't beat me despite being unmedicated for a month now *proceeds to postpone going to the nearest pharmacy once again*

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

im lowkey pissed at mediocrity often getting attention on the internet these days like no I think your uwu sona w/ depression in those striped socks and/or arm warmers is tasteless. (Un)bonus points if they're labeled a girl/boyfail or has energy drink addiction

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

yall ever get a big ick seeing someone's tacky ass oc design get glazed by their friends... yeah im a big hater of the nowadays average online artist, esp the annoying uwu mentally ill puppygirl/boy oc/sona gaaawwddd

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

Been prepping myself mentally for 2 weeks now to walk to the nearest pharmacy and ask to have my prescription from the previous pharm transfered... Checked their hours and they're already closed and open again on Monday OTL

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

Worth remembering lol it was an interesting plot tho but got nothing out of it really cuz it was the most ??? dream story I had 🥴

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

I realized he likes me more than what I scrutinized myself for because he also left comments/reactions/has read thru my artist notes in my sketchbook, even tho a lot of it were more like sassy remarks/a form of banter The rest of the dream was also interesting post j.rad meeting but not really/

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

of something I don't even remember and he looked a lil annoyed that I'm "wasting his time"😭 eventually I found the arts when we settled down and made him sign multiple and gave me a sassy eyeroll or something... I did get kinda conscious bc it felt like I was taking advantage of him, but later on /

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

invited me to come with to a spot outside cuz photography is a new hobby of his(??) and was trying to set up professional lights or something while I was scouring my... Devices?? (My iPad wasn't even in my dream what the helly) for the fanarts. I think I made him watch something first for "context"/

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

I had work then passed out in bed playing Xenoblade so idk what mysterious circumstances made my brain dream of the guy Anyway, I forgot if either of us invited to hang out but I did ask if I can get him to sign some of my fanarts and be said sure and I said hold on I need to find it first, so he /

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

then pulled me up into a hug?? He told me he's always wanted to meet me then started introducing me to others (which I think are supposed to be the dream world equivalent of other content creators)?? The citizen part threw me off like ok man but it's funny cuz I wasn't thinking of him on that day /

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

yesterday I dreamt I personally met my YouTuber crush at some sort of amphitheatre .. he was walking down the aisle greeting & giving first bumps to everyone (I think it was some some sort of creator event?) and when he saw me he's like "well hello there citizen!!" took my hand after the first bump/

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

bent down ass up jorkin my tenis god i wish someone else is doing it to me rn

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 08/07/2026

A hole splitting pounding will fix me & my muscle strain from 4+ hr straight physical labour from work

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

🔞I like to think I can take on girthy ones irl but idk, never tried sex🤷‍♂️ early morning gooning doodle bc im single and selectively ready to mingle

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 01/07/2026

ik im kinda relapsing due being off meds for a while now but man the anxiety sucks it makes me want to disintegrate all traces of my existence and can only be found as a concept of a person on yt or something

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Dad went to check the mailbox and saw my new legal name....... Neither of them said anything so I assume they're already aware yet still deadname + misgender me lol Need to grow online as fast as possible and achieve some of my goals.... Then it's forever bye bye to these hags

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

fwiw i don't want a penis either that shit ugly asf and is a snitch in public

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

transitioned so hard I forget im trans and scrome when i saw my mangina

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Nvm turns out I underfed myself and been one short of meds. Well I do need to get a refill but it's too hot to go outside...

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nut smashr🔞 @exraei.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

know what it's like to be proud of themselves without being told "you can do better than x or y". I feel like I'm coping trying to be good at many things because I genuinely don't feel I'm worth anyone's affection anyway... Afterall, I'm doomed from the start

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