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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof

@evanbernick.bsky.social
27K followers 698 following 35K posts

Associate Prof at Northern Illinois University College of Law. Constitutional law, criminal law, abolition, philosophy, hoops, video games, puppies (esp. Argo the Floof). Probably nicer than you’ve heard. He/him.

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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium @ptdefiancezoo.bsky.social · 20m
Another round for Hudson! ⚽ The massive muskox is getting faster at popping his inflatable balls, but no worries, he and the herd have plenty of other “muskox-sturdy” barrels, balls, and enrichment items to enjoy. Enrichment plays an important role in animal care by encouraging natural behaviors.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 20m
hooman probably left for 10 minutes
Big dude practically throwing himself over a gate, flinging paw around
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 33m
human probably left for 20 minutes
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Katherine ✨ @kmr318.bsky.social · 1h
@evanbernick.bsky.social the pup at the end … thought you’d appreciate youtube.com/shorts/qx_HN...
youtube.com
How do you even explain this feel long to someone? 🥹❤️
YouTube video by Woof World
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
explore.org @explore.org · 8h
A little glimpses of Patches.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Cats of Yore @catsofyore.bsky.social · 6h
Picnic for garbage babies. 💕 Photo from my collection, no date/info.
Black and white photo of a tabby cat and what are presumably her three tabby kittens. They are all on top of a galvanized metal trash can outdoors which has been covered with a white cloth. There is a bowl of something in the middle and they are all eating from it.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Paul Byrne @theplanetaryguy.com · 5h
This is a new deep-field image from JWST, designed to look for the point of origin of a fast radio burst. The bright, multi-point features are stars in the Milky Way. Everything else is an entire galaxy.
The dark of space, featuring a handful of bright, nearby stars, and altogether too many galaxies beyond.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h
There are big s t r e t c hes and then there’s whatever this is
A massive Bernese mountain dog sticks a big floofy butt in the air and extends his giant paws in a thoroughly ridiculous pawsture
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
There's a LOT of competition but I continue to believe that there's no single moment in the Simpsons that better captures American political life than this one www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgNv...
youtube.com
I Want To Buy Your Rock (The Simpsons)
YouTube video by ThingsICantFindOtherwise
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
Please do not feel the need to tell me that I am not understanding the phrase correctly. I assure you that I understand its many usages and still feel that way about it.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
This is why "it's not who we are" has never worked for me. Yes, it is. It's not all of what we are or who we ought to be, but it is.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
whatever "it" you have in mind, it happened here
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
having done the wrong thing for the worst possible reasons, he then eventually does the right thing for the worst possible reasons, far too late
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
and the writers clearly know and intend everyone to understand that this is ridiculous
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
Anyway (spoilers) the measure passes but Homer makes a last-ditch campaign against it, which is not quite redemption because he got the measure going in the first place
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
Apu, exhausted from preparing for his citizenship test: Legislative, executive, and judicial. Homer (confidently): No, no, and no. (sigh) I guess we have to start all over with the electrical college.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
This ENTIRE episode
A brown bear roams the streets of Springfield, frightening the townspeople despite its docile and curious, rather than aggressive, behavior. After Homer leaves home to purchase beer (ignoring official advice to remain indoors), he comes face-to-face with the bear after failing to get into his car by climbing across the power line, whereupon the police tranquilize the animal, as well as accidentally tranquilizing Barney Gumble. Despite this being an unprecedented sight in Springfield, Homer leads a march of angry citizens to city hall, where they demand Mayor Quimby do something to protect them from bears. After Quimby deploys a bear patrol, which involves the use of high tech vehicles, including B2 Spirit aircraft, Homer is angry to learn his taxes have increased by $5 to maintain it. Another crowd of angry citizens marches to the mayor's office demanding lower taxes. To appease them, Quimby blames the higher taxes on illegal immigrants. He creates Proposition 24, which will force all illegal immigrants in Springfield to be deported.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 11h
There's a LOT of competition but I continue to believe that there's no single moment in the Simpsons that better captures American political life than this one www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgNv...
youtube.com
I Want To Buy Your Rock (The Simpsons)
YouTube video by ThingsICantFindOtherwise
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 21h
You have disturbed this giant Bernese mountain dog’s sleep
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Motley Blüe @middermoo.bsky.social · 12h
She was a beast.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Liz Climo @lizclimo.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Otter says “everyone says there’s a monster in this lake.” Monster replies “yeah. They’re talking about me.” Otter hugs monster “I don’t think you’re a monster.”
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h
whoa!
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h
115ish. Floof turns out to be lighter than air but there is a lot of dog under it.
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h
Large. In charge. About the size of a barge.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Mrs. N @btwnthesepages.bsky.social · 12h
When you admit you've never been to a yoga class in your life. *smh* The instructor is clearly demonstrating downward dog. Watch a YouTube bro.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
explore.org @explore.org · 08/10/2026
The 901's have brought so much love to the explore viewers this season!
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 12h
There are big s t r e t c hes and then there’s whatever this is
A massive Bernese mountain dog sticks a big floofy butt in the air and extends his giant paws in a thoroughly ridiculous pawsture
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 21h
Oh yes, and squeak
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Alexandra Lahav @alahav.bsky.social · 21h
Tricolor cavalier spaniel, tongue out, resting on grass.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
(Sound up)
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 21h
The floof is fine, everything else in the world is not
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This place is grim, post emergency photo of giant dog and geese armada
Giant Bernese mountain dog floofing around in his backyard. There’s a pond in the background full of geese
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 21h
Giant dude floofs on bed, consumes entire bed
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 21h
You have disturbed this giant Bernese mountain dog’s sleep
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 09/10/2026
Simpsons construction workers about to blow up casino because they thought it was supposed to be an explosion rather than implosion
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Randall Munroe @xkcd.com · 08/10/2026
Juice xkcd.com/3308/
4-panel comic. (1) [Two people, one with a ponytail, sitting and typing at terminals opposite each other. A sign on the wall reads “Juice Mission Control,” with JUICE in huge letters.] PERSON 1: Jupiter Icy Moons Exploder checkin is complete. All systems nominal. (2) PERSON 2 with ponytail. [People turn to look at each other.] PERSON 1: What? PERSON 2: Jupiter Icy Moons *Explorer*. (3) [Person 1 turns back to his terminal.] (4) PERON 1: Control, everything is fine, but I need to schedule an urgent spacecraft update. [Person 2 facepalms] PERSON 2: Oh no.
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
WNBA @wnba.com · 08/10/2026
DOMINANCE ON REPEAT 🔁 The best of A’ja Wilson’s 2026 campaign on her way to WNBA Kia MVP No. 5 🏆 #KiaMVP | #WNBASeason30
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Bodega Cats @bodegacats.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
This place is grim, post emergency photo of giant dog and geese armada
Giant Bernese mountain dog floofing around in his backyard. There’s a pond in the background full of geese
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
WNBA @wnba.com · 08/10/2026
Nothing like sharing the moment with your people 🫶 More from A’ja Wilson’s MVP surprise as No. 22 celebrates her fifth Kia MVP with those closest to her. #KiaMVP | #WNBASeason30
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
InteractiveOceans @ooi-cabledarray.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Happy World Octopus Day 2026! As the ROV approached this deep-sea Granelodone octopus, it inflated its tentacles, assuming a shape reminiscent of a pile of ripe plums! Maybe a threat display or defensive posture? 🚢🧪🌊🐙 Credit: UW/NSF-OOI/WHOI, Dive J2-1787, V26; ed. by O. Parsons & M. White (UW)
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Sometimes evolution be like “fuck it why not”
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
The noble linsang aka kangamouseracoon
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Good Trailcams @goodtrailcams.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Do not hug the murder bear
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explore.org @explore.org · 08/10/2026
Chunk the Hunk!
Chunk the hunk!
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
In case it is unclear, this is now my front runner for GOTY and it has been a stacked year. but, *gestures*
GTA VI protagonist with a gorgeous drink
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Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Oh shit this is out NOW
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Reposted by Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof
Evan Bernick, a finite mode with a smol hooman and a lorg floof @evanbernick.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
oh my god
Some charged down a 300-foot (90-meter) underwater tunnel, stopping to stare at a sand tiger shark or sea turtles. Other cats found the aquarium's dim blue environment calming and
closed their eyes for a little nap.
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Amanda Mull @amandamull.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I have truly never had more fun reporting a story in my life. Dads cried, I cried, their daughters balled out. www.bloomberg.com/news/feature...
bloomberg.com
The NFL’s $192 Million Bet on Flag Football Is Paying Off With Teen Girls
The sport has seen unprecedented growth since the pandemic. Next up: The Olympics and a college campus near you.
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