iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Waitress at the Totem Lake Shari's, for eight days. Had this idea I should have a second job b/c my job (rapid zoom in on my EXTREMELY smug face) at nintendo was on-call, kinda unreliable? anyway after a week of training and one real shift, working the smoking section grossed me out and I quit. :)

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 9h

here I am performing my fortune-teller community service in the gc. If you have some shit happening with you and/or your loved ones this month and you're like Y THO??, there is no why nothing happens for a reason . BUT if you'd like to pretend, here is my analysis and advice. good luck, everybody!

scenario, my friend's ex will not go gently into the dark night. it is time for him to get interested in new girl. praying patrick star meme.

TRUTH BOMB! I know you people love costar but it sucks shit. Aside from how it uses AI to write its horoscopes and has been AI-foward for a while, which should be a DQing event already, it uses the Poryphry house system. That's a system real people really use in a Persian branch of traditional astrology, sure, but I and most other western astrologers do not. If you look at yours or others' charts in Costar, they almost certainly aren't going to match what you see elsewhere in north america, where people overwhelmingly use either placidus or whole sign houses (WSH). the only reason I even know that is because I'm in deep enough to have listened to a podcast that featured an interview with Costar's founder! Almost nobody else among the average astrology girlies the app is meant to serve is even going to know that! They're just going to think their chart looks weird anywhere else and not understand why. to fuck with costar.

Probably Don't Get Your New Haircut in Venus Retrograde (unless it happens to be your personal briar patch, ie you were born during one) and by "new haircut" I mean change your aesthetics generally. if you like the change you are unlikely to like it for long. or do it, what do I care if you want or need to add a little suffering to your life? there are worse ways to suffer than looking a little bad; doing it proactively that way might take the edge off elsewhere.

ehhh this part is high-level shit—don't worry about it, cup cake. But as I've heard it said, in cosmic weather like this the discomfort is the point. sit with it and endure, if you can, and try not to take it too personally.

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 16/10/2026

you gotta go Beezil Mode sometimes. you just do. glad to have already been dressed for the part

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Been out on the astral plane trying to shoo the planet mars away from the degree of my ascendant. It won't go!! Like trying to get my capricious donkey through the paddock gate when it doesn't wanna—he just digs his heels in, and that's that. Fine. Maybe tomorrow, ass hole

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Gone highfalutin w/my gruel recently—got a bag of the organic worker-owned cream of wheat equivalent. Cooks up a lil different, great stuff, and I notice the ostensible vitamin/mineral content is far lower—it seems those "enrichments" weren't organic. Feeling great to no longer live a bourgeois lie!

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

hit w/an OUGH MY FEELINGS! wave starting last night, not all that justified, unresponsive to my prodigious self-soothing power. hm. eventually I remembered what my whole deal is and checked in with the forecast and...YYYYYOU! 🫵 (retrograde Venus transiting opposite my natal Moon...𝕽𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉 𝕿𝖜𝖔.) (of 3)

"Indulge Responsibly" is the title of the Venus-opposite-Moon transit, a warning framed—as it often is in the chani app—in a palatable, not untrue but palatable, sort of way for the girlies. The overall chani project seems to be this: telling the girlies (et al) the truth, but palatably, and offering them the tools to dig deeper if they want to. ultimate goal: revolution ♡. very cool, sincerely love it. anyway

What the app doesn't know (yet. it will when it gets within orb) that I do is that any transiting opposition to my moon either has or soon will (depends on whether it's retrograde) conjunct my pluto, amplifying the effect, and that it also just has or soon will (depends etc) square the degree of my ascendant, amplifying the extent to which it, whatever "it" is, feels personal, regardless of whether it is or isn't. I also know that a buffet of additional difficult configurations (and, let's be fair, a few sweet ones too!) are also experiencing a sign-based aspect right now, which isn't as intense (though their times will come! (or recently have (depends etc))) but do add their fuel to the fire. Basically the planets in my chart are almost completely lit up (minus the two in Sagittarius) anytime there's activity on the Taurus-Scorpio axis.

see previous wall of alt text, this is just part of the second half of that delineation in the CHANI app. "be nice to yourself", it says out loud, "...because you'll need someone to feel like someone is being nice to you ", is what goes unspoken.

"Too Fast, Too Furious"

This one, which is on its way out of orb as the dates suggest, is the delineation of the transiting mars squaring my natal moon, which we've just established is also getting it from transiting venus. (tiredly) whatever let's say it's amping up one's urge to redacted dont worry abou tit

By the way. Astute readers may ask, does this mean the transiting mars and venus are also interacting with each other? and the answer is YES! GOOD work VERY smart. They're squaring each other, it perfected about an hour ago in fact. And in a vacuum that isn't necessarily the worst; you can generate some fun sexual tension/friction this way, a Mars/Venus square. entire industries have been built on such things. However, in the context of the otherwise dogshit weather and the way it has me specifically in its crosshairs, it's just throwing gasoline on a fire (derogatory), not (laudatory)

This is a critical initiation that everyone goes through before they fully settle into their yeah yeah yeag all RIGHT already we GET it. I've posted this one before, because THIS bad boy is transiting pluto squaring natal pluto which is a literal once in a lifetime experience of transformation in one specific sphere of one's life. you really do only get one so make the best of it, or else. pluto slow though and owing to how my chart is set up I actually get 5 exact hits of this transit so my once in a lifetime experience has been a Journey. gritting my teeth, lucky me. We are now on hit 4 of 5 which actually occurred in august but is still within orb. I've said "orb" several times now, if you don't get it it's...(so tiredly) don't worry about it. Anyway because this is Pluto which you MAY recall will soon experience its own transits from the retrograde Venus etc, yes. this factors into all that shit too. thanks. THANKS

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

rip to this man whose name I mainly know b/c my dad was the spitting image of him in the 80s, you know back when they were both famous. got mistaken for him more than once. or, idk? maybe that's a more typical greater-chicago-area male experience than I was led to believe.

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Dudley Moore's work as the narrator of The Adventures of Milo and Otis (1989) is not only a solo tour de force. It is also a showcase of not one, but many, hilarious English accents. This is why 80s kids are, on the whole, more skilled and versatile at putting on a voice than their 90s counterparts.

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I wonder what it's like to be married to someone publicly dumb. not "has said dumb things", not "reasonable people can disagree on whether x personality trait = dumb", I mean in the public eye + widely regarded as not-bright. Your yglesiases and such. May such a love NEVER find me 😻

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

(clangign my little triangle dinner bell) GREAT MOVIE ALERT! MAKE YOURSELF MISERABLE 2NIGHT!!

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

in the encyclopedia trying to pin down the difference between "permaculture" and "biodynamic farming" and aha. ahahaha! NOW I'm capering

"biodynamic [farming] is a form of alternative agriculture based on pseudoscientific and esoteric concepts..."

"Methods unique to the biodynamic approach include its treatment of animals, crops, and soil as a single system, an emphasis from its beginnings on local production and distribution systems, its use of traditional (and development of new) local breeds and varieties. Some methods use an astrological sowing and planting calendar. Biodynamimc agriculture uses various herbal and mineral additives for compost additives and field sprays; these are prepared using methods that are more akin to sympathetic magic than agronomy, such as burying ground quartz stuffed into the horn of a cow, which are said to harvest 'cosmic forces in the soil'.

i ain't transcribing all that. it's just a bunch of stuff like making different kinds of humus and compost by like, burying poop inside of a cow's horn and burying it for six months to make the farm magically more Powerful. the sort of actual bullshit that is catnip to one such as me.

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

getting into the Open Season (2006) soundtrack

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I finished my book about The Replacements and I am prepared to spout misc The Replacements facts at this time. For instance, Paul Westerberg casually mentions "when I was getting into palmistry". and when was that, Paul?? are you still there?? Paul Westerberg talk fortune-telling with me

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

all the strangers instagram tries to recommend to me get lost in a don't-show-me-this blur, except this lady who fascinates me. what a picture. who are you

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

oh also my niece has entered her "telling her family members she wants to kill and devour them" phase. adorable!! I guess she wants to be a vampire princess/"princess with fangs" for halloween, too. lmao you're gonna clean up someday w/that stuff, kiddo

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

sister & fam visited for the weekend and though the visit itself was lovely everything surrounding it was hellish haha. puke and delays on the drive up. dog sit in cactus go dog ER. now the drive home has begun on a "surprise, the interstate is closed~" note so it's looking to be more of the same

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

how's my niece doing, great. how's my other niece (dog) doing? well, in the past 7 days she's had to have several teeth removed and then I guess this morning she sat on a cactus—so she's doing great! I guess I'll be seeing her after the vet. my mom keeps repeating "sat on a FUCKING cactus" in wonder

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

now im a capering little fucker

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Mercury has come to Scorpio and I've tweaked my judgments accordingly. okay I'm checking my notes and it was actually just one BUT my idea here is that since Mercury is now copresent w/Venus and squaring Jupiter, it will be influenced by them to act as a benefic, strengthening all the charts a bit.

Why is the Gemini-rising chart the only mutable one not to get my shrugging Maybe of I Guess? The mutable charts all have Venus, Jupiter, Mercury and Mars in a cadent house (3/6/9/12), and Saturn in a succedent house(2/5/8/11). On the whole, succedent houses are considered stronger than cadent houses and I'm not getting into why or we'll be here all day. Just know that succedent mostly beats cadent. On the OTHER hand, visible houses are stronger than invisible houses by a different metric, because they can interact with the ascendant. don't worry about it. There are 4 invisible houses, 2 6 8 and 12, so two are succedent and two are cadent. Thus 6 and 12 are on the bottom rung of house strength and desireability, because they are invisible and cadent and thus doubly weak. 2 and 8 are invisible but succedent, so they're weak but less so than 6 and 12. Of course, the question is do you WANT a given planet to have power? If the planets in question are malefic you often don't, and if they're benefic you generally do. Anyway Gemini is a No because it's a nocturnal chart, and when it's nocturnal you particularly want to see Saturn disempowered and Venus empowered if you possibly can. Saturn in the 11th has a lot more power than Venus in the 6th, and in my opinion Mercury joining her there does not do enough to make the chart worth trying. The also-nocturnal Virgo IS worth trying however, because now Venus and Mercury are in the 3rd (cadent but visible) whereas Saturn is in the 8th. more of a fair fight you know. You switch to the day charts and now you especially want to empower Jupiter and disempower Mars—but since they're in the same sign, it's kind of a wash. so you're turning again to Venus and Saturn to break the tie. Now, in diurnal charts Saturn is at least a little constructive, so it's not SO crucial that he be disempowered. Does your math match mine? Does your final equation, like mine, say "tbh all of this sucks, but I guess this sucks the least"?

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

me in my 40s, wise now: ohhhhh, rocko's jackhammering hobby was a masturbation joke. got it 😌

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I probably won't have any more shpadoinkle days, will I? Not in this lifetime..

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old roadside pics @roadside.xor.blue · 29/09/2026

santa's workshop, cascade, colorado, 1980

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

YOu can't play a song entitled "gary's got a boner" in the car with your mom. you just can't!

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

why don't we jsut drop all garbage into an active volcano? everything melt, problem solved

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

powdered vinegar. You guys hear about this?? It doesn't have to be sushi rice. (deliriously) It could be ANYTHING

Me with my best friend, Sushi Rice Seasoning Mix. Top 3 ingredients sugar + salt + vinegar powder; it seems like 1 TBS to 2C cooked rice is about the right proportion. I've never made sushi at home, but you mix a little seasoned rice with a marinated jammy egg, you're in for a hell of a lunch. I just put the last of it on my leftover curry rice from when I stumbled onto "restaurant-don" from when I was wandering loose in a strip mall while my tires were getting rotated a couple days ago. Sushi Rice Seasoning Mix, CHECK it out

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Necro Supernaut XIII @necrobutcher187.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

when you order food and pick it up they should say "there you go ive made your dinner for you you stupid bastard"

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

(one 'like' on this post) SO GLAD YOU ASKED! today I made it w/earl gray, water, a liiittle sweet cream. + salt and pat of butter obv. chopped up a little trail mix again, added in while cooking. topped off w/new "trader joe's apple pie spread" b/c we are Celebrating Autumn at this time. delectable!

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

no one is doing it like me, the Genius of Porridge.

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

why would I even think of this question. nothing has ever been less knowable, or relevant, than this. I might as well be asking where a grove of aspen trees stands politically, these days. ("where does a grove of aspen trees stand? all over the place!" many ways to iterate on this. have fun, guys)

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I wonder where Cattail Bob stands politically, these days.

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sylvia @sylvibullet.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

i fuck with this guy heavy

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

watched a movie last night in which a character gets a job by knowing how to use garlic in a recipe. so what she did was hold one (1) clove of the stuff in her hand and waggle it back and forth, six inches above a pan on the stove. thats how you cook with garlic. (nodding really seriously)

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bossk baby @bonnnt.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

if i was singing a song about shaft and someone told me to shut my mouth id freak out. we would have to start all over

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

you'll never trick ME into adopting "y'all". "you people" is right there and it's WAY funnier

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

(alarm clock goes off inside of my Mind) yes. it's ELO time

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rax ‘levon honkers’ king @raxkingisdead.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

thinking about the time my dad couldn't remember the phrase Jock Jams so he said 'you know, the one that's all music a guy would play to get himself jazzed up to assassinate the president. whole CD of it. what's that called again'

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

The cat returns!! As close readers may know, this year I picked out a wedding date according to the principles of electional astrology, and in fact changed their plans pretty drastically. If you were curious what all goes into "electing" a "chart", now that it's well past I'm comfortable sharing.

A beautiful Abyssinian cat regards you. This was originally written (and re-edited a bit tonight) to be read by a pro astrologer, so I didn't do much explaining of vocab terms as I otherwise might here. only to make it clear that I understood them, sometimes. sorry bout it

A beautiful Abyssinian chart regards you. cat. freudian slip

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Jackie @espnjockjams.bsky.social · 30/05/2026

saw a stranger several replies deep in an ongoing conversation I wasn't part of call it coyote time. As in the moments after you've run beyond the edge of the cliff, but before you realize and plunge into the abyss. haha yea, coyote time. that's exactly where we are.

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