iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

i’m white knuckling it but the grip is slipping

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i have no anger and am incapable of spite, i live for others, and just hope that one day someone might live for me back, i don’t expect it, but it’s all i really want

i used to not think so but i haven’t been proven right just yet, tryna hold out for some semblance of hope tho before i just give up and roll the credits, fate draws nearer every day while things i latch on to fade and melt away, leaving the feeling of emptiness behind

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as many have told me, “i’m emotional”, it is but a curse

asking myself why i feel like shit mentally while simultaneously dying from lack of sleep, nourishment, connection, and touch

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any girls out there care more about fonts and type setting than video games? no? just me?

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sorry to be a downer but don't count on it

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

rare selfie, not sure why i bother anymore though

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how are y’all holdin’ up over here, is this place infected too?

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 13/03/2025

i released a garage tape over the weekend that's available on all streaming platforms, if you even care tidal.com/browse/album...

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Reposted by ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈)

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

today was my birthday i’m officially almost 40

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

today was my birthday i’m officially almost 40

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

despite the struggle, i can still fake a smile

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

a story in 3 parts: 3 sessions, 24 hours, no tap outs

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Reposted by ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈)

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 24/01/2025

no tap outs

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Reposted by ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈)

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

part 1

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 12/01/2025

there is none, unless you mean the black

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Reposted by ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈)

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 04/01/2025

my body is not sexually suggestive

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

if you ever try flirting with me my knee jerk reaction will be to just send you music because i dunno how to flirt

soundcloud.com

LΛYLØШ®

Ploom is now @noaliae - we;ll see you on the other side

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

okay i will try some of that thanks

ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

i dunno how to flirt with people at all and so trauma bonding is all i really know but subsequent trauma has led to that becoming a red flag in and of itself

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 29/12/2024

as someone who is asexual and carries a lot of trauma, i so desperately want to live in a world where dating someone does not mean you’re fucking them

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

all i want to accomplish in 2025 is a sense of mental stability and not spend every night wishing i had pulled the trigger the day prior

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ESCHA (๑ˊ͈ ^ˋ͈) @escha.bsky.social · 28/12/2024

genuinely what makes people happy, how do people fill their brain space with things other than thoughts of suicide, i am struggling so bad i just want it to stop, i want to feel normal and sane

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logging off until i feel like life has meaning

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perhaps the strangest part about not having a family anymore is that they still exist, they will still die one day, and i will grieve for them, which is maybe partially why my subconscious is so fixated on dying first, just a thought/realization i had coming out of a dream

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i wonder why no one talks to me and then i remember that being perpetually suicidal and talking about it openly is not a very attractive quality so i try to bottle it up and then the ideation gets exponentially worse

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