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Ephemerides

@ephemerides.bsky.social

2.1K followers 1.8K following 1.3K posts

🔞 NSFW. Grumpy, Gym-addicted, and Geriatric. Don't cam. Don't call. Don't have Snap. Shit at sexy chat.

Posts Replies Media

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 17/05/2026

Still in the land of the living... just about.

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 14/01/2026

Every week you always hit some sort of hump in the road... BUMP! I meant bump 😏 #HumpDay

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

Be fair... if we went to the gym together, would we ever make it out of the locker room? 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

😂😂😂

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 13/01/2026

I've noticed that sexy guys stand perfectly still while drying their back and butt. I, on the other hand... #TodgerTuesday

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 12/01/2026

When I think back to the views I used to get as a short-ass kid in the local pool's open showers... #mcm

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

😂

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 11/01/2026

When you realise that the "no nuts" on your diet plan did NOT mean what you thought it did #SundayCumday #wank #cum

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Well, don't blame me if you get wet 😈🍆💦💦

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

😂😂😂 I know the feeling. If that worked as a diet I should be falling down grates by now.

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

You know I meant cow juice, not man juice, right? 😏😈😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Abstaining from milk is bearable. Abstaining from chocolate, on the other hand 😭

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Not allowed milk on this effing diet... is Americano and bed acceptable? 🙏

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

I wouldn't believe me, either 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

I wish! But thank you. 🥰

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

Fine. Just stand there and watch. Just saying, there's plenty of room if you want to hop in. #scs

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

😅😅😈😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

Oh yes, definitely... by bad boys 😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

The throbbing is just my dick's way of telling me he knows it's #FriskyFriday #fcf

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Finding places to be naked is what keeps getting me out of the door 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Must be over-saturated. I'm actually pastier than Casper. 👻

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

You may. My God, you may. 👀🥵 May I have a little taste? 👅😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

April 2024. Just couldn't wait to get out of my clothes. #ThrowbackThursday

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

Absolutely not. The thought of any of these reprobates going near it 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

What, like throwing things at me and seeing if you can hit my waggling dick? 😅

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 07/01/2026

#HumpDay - the day I feel like telling work to kiss my ass for the rest of the week.

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

It will be once I can get back to the gym later 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

Somebody has to 😂

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 06/01/2026

My best angle... far away #TodgerTuesday

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

👋

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

😂😂 My boss frowns upon such behaviour

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

😅😈😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 05/01/2026

Let him know you love him before you stuff him away for work #mcm

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

🥰🥰🥰

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

Whereas I look at it and am glad my diet starts in the morning. 😂

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 04/01/2026

When you see snow falling outside and it reminds you of something... #SundayCumday #wank #cum

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

I'm a right little ray of sunshine 😂😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 03/01/2026

Shake your softie like it's Saturday #scs

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

😂😂😂

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Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

My God, the anticipation... 🥵

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Ooooh... dipping sauce! 👅🤤

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

😈😈 Just remember - modesty and embarrassment are what led to unisex changing rooms full of cubicles... you want to go back to those days? 🤢

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

A meagre meal. I hate portion control 😅

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Honestly, it needs very little encouragement 😂😈

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 02/01/2026

Attention all guys signing up to a gym for the first time: THIS is how you dry off in a #lockerroom. Nobody's going to shame you in there. It's not school. #fsf

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

I think kisses and maybe a spoon might be in order, poor lamb. 😘

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

And a happy new year to you. 😘

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Those 2025 memories will probably come back around in 2027 in a few Throwback Thursdays 😂

Ephemerides @ephemerides.bsky.social · 01/01/2026

Pretty sure that's what they used to strike Big Ben at midnight 👀🔔