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Laura

@emokohelet.bsky.social
66 followers 33 following 5.2K posts

Previously famed scriptural exegete

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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 18h
i feel like air conditioning has got to be mandatory for a furry rave
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Reposted by Laura
BearPascal @bearpascal.bsky.social · 20h
Morrissey if he was a horse: Secretariat and Seabiscuit are on your side but you lose cause BoJack Horseman is on mine
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Kafka's letters to his gynecologist
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I'm being massacred for suggesting the idea that I cosplay as sexy pyramid head for Halloween. They hate to see you living your best life as pyramid head with big naturals
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
I love replying to people with "right" or "totally agree" and not knowing what the fuck they're on about. That's my toxic trait
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
if your hair is so very poofy, then why are you on your own tonight?
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
went to karaoke this week. did the smiths. got some cheers. going back next time and doing dying fetus. you thought i was some sensitive gay boy at heart. wrong. it's not my fault i'm pregnant and love drugs.
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Pagliacci's Trilemma -God can be omniscient -God can be omnibenevolent -God can have a sense of humor
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
i have a bad habit of looking for the best english translations of english texts
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Reposted by Laura
Janet Tzara @janet-tzara.neocities.org · 08/05/2025
The Pope is woke, boys and it's so lonely on a limb
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
i accidentally got caught in a video on social media reading the guermantes way and conveniently enough, i stopped reading before the part that made me ugly cry for half an hour the night after. That would have been awkward
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
taking off your bra without taking off your shirt? mindlessly easy task. Now putting your bra back on without removing your shirt? Impossible. A level of cognitive functioning that i don't think even the smartest person on earth can live up to. The topology of it needs to be studied
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
i recently had a scenario in which i'm like 85% sure i was being hit on and i failed to let the moment go anywhere and i can't tell if i should be upset about that or conclude that i still got it
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
after like five years, i replaced my phone lock-screen from the cover of the mantua Zohar to a picture of the album cover for Treasure. Elizabeth Fraser, you are my guide now
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
i'm eternally kinda popular with men aged 40-80 and not even in a weird fatherly sexual way but in the way that a way that an old time hippie or quirky elder millennial needs a scary Gen Z Lesbian to identify with
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
missed connection: trader joe's cashier with the dyed hair and nose piercing, i would have checked out in your lane but we made eye contact after i had already gotten in line and i didn't want to be rude. I will append my phone number to the bottom of this post. nobody else call it.
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 12/09/2026
She's getting kinda crazy with it tonight, happy 9/11 y'all
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
i got called big dawg for the first time today, this is who i am now
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Halimede was a six year long sociological experiment conducted by Harvard University. The study is now complete, thank you for your time
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
is it desperate or endearing to wear an apron on your birthday that says "kiss the birthday girl", asking for a friend before midnight tonight EST
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
happy birthday otto f kernberg, i know you read my posts
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
I went out dancing tonight for the first time ever, I never got the appeal of the club before tonight, that was so much fun
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
woke friend: every bathroom in my apartment is a gender neutral bathroom me, trying to outwoke my friend: all of my sinks are gender neutral
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Trying to figure out if someone is bisexual by showing them a picture of catdog and asking how it makes them feel
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
listening to LoveGame and thinking about what the funniest possible innuendo for penis is, and I think wii remote is pretty high up there
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 01/09/2026
if i was a gay guy, i'd constantly say shit like "you gotta be a different diva and the same bitch"
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
A Man Escaped, that's it, just watch that movie
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
Hideo Kojima writing the New Testament: yes, the guy who will baptize Jesus Christ, his name will be John, John Baptist
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
please do not laugh about north macedonian anne hathway. north macedonian anne hathaway is not a joke. she is the love of my life. maybe. i know that i'm the love of her life atleast.
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Gym bro gooner: I'm not edging, I'm training three sets to failure
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
i got an idea for the worst standup joke of all time: What if Jerry Seinfeld was Jewish? Then you like riff on that and pretend to be totally oblivious to the possibility that Jerry Seinfeld is Jewish. Someone in the crowd corrects you and you say "no, i think you're thinking of Larry David"
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
i'm not sure what adorno would think about it but i'm keeping my sanrio plushies next to my bookshelf
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Surround-Sound-Lab
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
defending myself for being short: it's not about the height of the woman, it's about the size of the dog in the woman
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
Having an air fryer has gotta be crazy age regression tech, imagine trying to make dinosaur chicken nuggets and then you have to preheat an oven and then set up your parchment paper, you might as well make an appointment with your tax accountant
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 23/08/2026
I'm not sure what was in the water but the 20th century really produced a great wealth of writers in Austria, I feel like Austrian modernists dominate my bookshelves
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
i'm always surprised when i meet polyamorous people in a small city, just like statistically speaking there can't be that many polyamorous people around you. Do you guys just have one really big polycule? do you have like the big three polycules and you guys have like mafia turf wars?
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
I don't know what my problem is but I feel most compelled to workout right before bed, I'm like staying up till 3am reading something and then I'm like "ok, I should have gone to sleep 5 hours ago but I'm gonna do 3 sets of calf raises instead"
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 22/08/2026
Has anyone ever drank a cold brew in kind of a butch way, like super lesbianly drinking the cold brew and you make the little stink face but not too much of a stink face because you are trying to be stoically butch, it's like a good stink face like "damn, that's a good cold brew, damn"
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
writing up a potential first stand-up comedy routine, i gotta put my years of posting to the grind-stone
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 20/08/2026
Celebrating the 25th anniversary of Bjork's Vespertine by spinning my favorite Bjork album, really one of my favorite albums ever
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 19/08/2026
i would like to apologize to megan for getting mad at her like three or four years ago when she said that i looked like robert smith, i've come around to thinking that pale skin and fucked up hair is the 80s goth look par excellence. i am looking forward to looking more like robert smith
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
having a girlfriend would be crazy, imagine having someone to be da bob to your minion
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Me when I'm serving fish in the club: glub glub
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Just got asked to define the term "glizzy goblin"
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
job interviews are so funny, you don't know wanna know my strengths or weaknesses. my greatest strength? biting. my greatest weakness? biting. rawr.
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I found out that Bjork is dating a woman and now I believe in beauty, truth, and justice again
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Laura @emokohelet.bsky.social · 14/08/2026
Fred Durst predicted non-binary people in 2000 when he said "ladies, fellas, and the people who don't give a fuck"
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