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Emcee Hammerpants

@emceehammerpants.bsky.social
491 followers 826 following 6.8K posts

I’m a very grumpy person and I’m not really that smart. If you’re thinking of following me you probably shouldn’t. I have no insights to give you.

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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Or Buttigieg spending three years at McKinsey. I got a special hatred in my heart for consultancy guys (because I’m a former consultant) but that doesn’t mean I needed to let that define him. I bought that hook, line and sinker for awhile.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Old. And woman. Tough thing to be.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
Have we ever lost a war this fast, this many times, before in our history?
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
I like that his reward will be scorn, ridicule by the filth he put in power, and ultimately being forgotten except by people that know inside baseball, who will all hate him.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 02/07/2026
That’s a fine way to never work in this town* again. *this town meaning all of democratic politics forever.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 30/06/2026
I, personally, have hosted larger parties.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
I think it’s like being black back in the day. A drop of gay blood is gay enough. (Remember that vaccinated blood is also gay)
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
No. You’re not interesting enough.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Who’d you vote for, buddy?
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
If Trump had the capacity for embarrassment this would kill him.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
No idea how you got that. Perhaps literacy is a problem for you. I will speak slowly: t r u m p ‘ s v o t e r s a r e r e s p o n s i b l e. Wait. This will help:
I suspect things written in crayon may be more your speed. I’m all about accessibility!
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Sales are generally down across the board. A lot of Americans have substituted ready meals from grocery stores for fast food.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Way less than the people that voted for Trump. Way less. Who did you vote for?
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Joe Biden didn’t vote for him. Democrats didn’t vote for him. The people that voted for Trump made a second Trump term a reality.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 27/06/2026
How long before he tries to ape OF but with actual physical prostitution? I give it a year.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 26/06/2026
I thought the New York Democratic Party had recently had some pretty high profile screw ups that led to them losing some seats they had no business losing. Did I imagine that? Tough to keep up with things these last ten years.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
This is disturbing. ProPublica is one of the few news orgs I actually trust. Is this just the reality for reputable media now?
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I think the fact he’s a piece of shit is the whole ballgame. Pieces of shit have been, despite all the cynics, underrepresented in national politics. Trump gave all the miserable assholes in this country someone to vote for, because he is their king.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
We had it. It was Obama. He got us improvements in the healthcare system. We also had Biden who gave us an incredibly progressive presidency and a soft landing from the COVID mishandling and his reward was getting shit on told to “sit down old man”.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
He’s the goddamn asshole whisperer. Because he is authentic. He’s a liar, a rapist, a thief, a con artist, probably a murderer, almost definitely a pedophile, and a tax cheat. He is the manifest id of every antisocial piece of shit in this country and they love him.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Gabe N isn’t a stupid man. There’s a reason there’s never been a Half Life 3.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I just realized I really want an electric Ford maverick. I don’t like the slate truck. It’s TOO bare bones. The bones are too bare. I need a little meat.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Oh yeah that makes sense. I’m not in ops so I constantly forget about that stuff
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
This is the president. That’s just crazy man. You ever try to look at it in a vacuum and just think, man, this guy is the president? It’s fucked up, dude.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I mean, I’m a complete moron and I’ve got a local model running.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Then they get to go home and tell their constituents they didn’t override the veto on a very popular piece of legislation. And the ones that have to worry about threading the needle on Trump-humping primary voters and everybody else find themselves even more uncomfortable.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I like the veto route because it means republicans get to decide if they want to swap their votes on a hugely popular bill just to appease their baby god king.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
I hope he vetoes it. Then republicans get to decide if they want to swap their votes on a layup to save dear leader.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
His confusion is grammatically correct, which is the second best kind of correct.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
Nice. So either he publicly loses face when his veto is overturned or republicans get to blow a layup bill and have to answer to their constituents. All over the SAVE act, which is dead. Genius.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
This is good. Trump needs to be held personally liable for every cost we’ve incurred as a result of his theft, corruption and incompetence. It will take a generation to clean up this mess and people like him and Musk need to pay for it.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
🤣
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
Same with AI companies. I don’t want to own any part of OpenAI or Anthropic’s debt. What I want is for the US postal service to serve a decent LLM for a free-to-highly-subsidized cost to individuals.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 23/06/2026
High trust society? Murder and theft were rampant back then. Violence was an incredibly common way to die. I guess it’s some solace the person killing you probably had the same skin color.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
It’s like looking at an alternate universe where we’re still a country.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Take it from their employees. Liquidate their assets.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
He’s gotta. The alternative appears to be “blame JD Vance.”
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
We’re all having a laugh but he doesn’t care. In his head this is the greatest deal ever. He’s too stupid and deluded to understand otherwise. He’s Zaphod Beeblebrox in the Total Perspective Vortex.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I feel like the only person that’s actually angry about how humiliating the end to the Iran was is shaping up to be. It’s not Trump’s humiliation because he is capable of deluding himself to an extent the rest of us cannot fathom. So the humiliation is just America’s. I hate his voters so much.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
What that should do is teach democrats how to treat the media. Generally speaking they’re too fucking stupid to be afforded respect and they’ll maul you if you do. They want to be shit on. Give them what they want.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
I mean, it’s a generational, probably historical, failure. You can’t just pin it on the guy you sold your soul for. That would be stuuuupid.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
But are they delicious?
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Dallas and Austin are a couple of the biggest tech hubs outside of Silicon Valley. We have a SHITLOAD of Indians.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
He’ll have his time in the barrel soon. The final nominee will be Trump’s last VP (which will be his VP after the next VP). Vote for Grok, 2028.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
Right that’s my point
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
It says something not great that we’re cheering on Iran for dunking on us. But I don’t blame us for cheering for it. We can’t really divorce Trump’s humiliation from our own, though. He’s such a shit president.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
static.klipy.com
Skeptical Fry from Futurama
ALT: Skeptical Fry from Futurama
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 16/06/2026
I met a man once who worked on a physical RAM system for Texas Instruments in the 70’s. It was a series of vacuum tubes that would move punchcards around in the system, enabling the computer to store and update info as it ran. If you’re not doing that, you’re just faking it.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 14/06/2026
I was gonna make a joke about having to be black to catch that charge but this is a much better joke.
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Emcee Hammerpants @emceehammerpants.bsky.social · 13/06/2026
Hey Atlantic. Look down here by my thigh. 👌 Who got got? Was it you? It was you!
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