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Elzbieta the Onion

@elzbietaonion.bsky.social
563 followers 774 following 481 posts

Remember when Navin Johnson didn't need one other thing? Except the ashtray and the paddle game and the chair and ...? That's me with hobbies and interests. She/Her

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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
An excellent teacher! Lessons have been fun, just challenging enough to keep me trying harder, and based on vocabulary that I actually use.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
This clip never fails to crack me up. 🎼 "I am a squid, and I am awesome, and here's all the reasons why!" #GustavoEnciklopedija youtube.com/shorts/ok9Bj...
youtube.com
Sužinok įdomybių apie kalmarus 🦑 #lrtvaikai #vaikai #lrt #gustavas #lietuva
YouTube video by LRT VAIKAI
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
You would think that a phone with a name like "Galaxy" would take a better picture of the moon. You would be wrong. #Eclipse #ThanksSamsung
A spectacularly bad photograph of tonight's lunar eclipse. Basically a white blob on a dark background. With a hint of pine.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
A chemo head scarf, recently off the loom. I'm hemming while my son works through a new-to-him jazz piano piece. He's aghast. "THAT? Why did they write THAT chord? It's too weird for that part." #music #weaving
Head scarf woven in three shades of green, being hemmed.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
Natty must have switched all the White House television sets to the classic sitcom channel. Can somebody tell the Groompa Loompa to stop being a dick to #Canada?
Michael J. Fox as Alex Keaton on Family Ties. Caption reads, "Were invading Canada tomorrow."
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Reposted by Elzbieta the Onion
Saulė / Saule @sankuperis.bsky.social · 17/08/2026
I have open spots in my online Lithuanian language group courses! Tuesday 19:30-21:00 EET (for beginners that are halfway Sėkmės book 1) Thursday 19:30-21:00 EET (for beginners that are about to start Sėkmės book 2)
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
They're done! Ten napkins, hemp and cotton, 36 e.p.i.
Handwoven napkin, half-bleached hemp and natural cotton, wet-finished and hemmed.
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Reposted by Elzbieta the Onion
Benita Skinner @benitaskinner.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
Heather Pilcher finished her Scraps Galore quilt top, which she made using my most popular pattern – It makes it easy to make! 👏   She’s donating it for a family, involved in a natural disaster, in Australia. 🧵 Do you want your own copy of this pattern? 👇 #quilting #sewing #scraps #quiltsky
Scraps Galore quilt top made with scrap squares.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/07/2026
Napkin number eight, I think. I keep pausing every few repeats to admire my selvages and lost track. #weaving
Close view of cream-colored napkins on the loom. As the weaver, I am unbearably smug about how even the selvages are.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
#Samsung ditched its messages and forced a switch to #Google, which nobody asked for. Now half of my messages are missing, I'm stuck with "extras" that I don't want, and the app layout is blinding and fugly. Time to raise pigeons.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Ordnance Corpse: the poor sucker who gets to risk death by setting off the city #firework display during a lightning storm.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
We're parked by the power plant as lightning moves in, waiting for a display while cigarette smoke drifts past the car and small children shriek, "MOM, I'M GONNA DO A HANDSTAND!" over and over at pitches that would give a dog a seizure. The way we celebrate this holiday is stupid and I hate people.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
We all know that #caturday is the real holiday today. And May knows how to celebrate!
A tabby cat with a white chin, sleeping on a white blanket with a blue stripe.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
One of the most horrifying things about this picture is knowing that so many people in this country go through some form of this every day.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
On to napkin number two! Hemp warp at 36 e.p.i., cotton weft, both 16/2. The bird's-eye pattern is just visible at the bottom.
Napkins on the loom; cream-colored cotton and half-bleached hemp. The bird's-eye pattern is just visible at the beam.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
Gotta #sew the other hem, and it's done! #weaving
A couch throw woven in small rainbow blocks. Kind of hypnotic.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 18/06/2026
My husband is hard to shop for in the sense that he's not into "stuff." For his birthday today, I gave him a recording of one of his favorite songs by one of his favorite musicians. youtu.be/UpIPNoKHG7c?...
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/06/2026
Here's the second shawl from the show. It's a shadow #weave (zoom in to see the pattern) in Tencel. I named it TTTTTT after an in-joke with my son, who chose the colors.
A shawl in blue and green shadow weave.
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Reposted by Elzbieta the Onion
Feline And Floss @felineandfloss.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
The pride cat patterns are free in my ko-fi shop right now! ko-fi.com/felineandfloss #crossstitch
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 03/06/2026
My show is up and running! Here is the first piece I made for it: Falkirk Pride. It's a blend of cotton and lambswool; the design is based on the Falkirk Check fragment. #Weaving
A shawl woven in rainbow twill. With fringe!
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
In ten weeks, I've managed to #weave nine shawls and four tea towels. Linen, silk, wool, bamboo; there's all kinds of good stuff here, and they'll go on display at the local #art collective for the month of June. Time for some chocolate.
A pile of multicolored handwoven textiles.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Started another crackle weave piece, this one using a draft by Amanda Cutler. It's 8/4 cotton with a sett of 18 e.p.i. Not as difficult as it looks, but you definitely want to pay attention!
A blanket on the loom, woven in a repeating rainbow pattern of small blocks.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 24/05/2026
I've never tried crackle weave, but Lauren Erickson's "Sunrise Bloom Napkins" pattern (Handwoven, Summer 2026) is irresistible. #Weaving
A diamond tile design on the loom, woven in shades of pale green and turquoise.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
Huh. So several WEEKS after my book was delivered, #FedEx decided to send me a Demand For Payment (it actually says that) for $20.60. Only five bucks of that is duty tax, while the rest is for "disbursement fees." NONE of this was mentioned, calculated, or requested before or after shipping.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Yeah, rainbow linen gauze! #Weaving
Weaving on the loom; 40/2 linen in rainbow steps for the warp and half-bleached for the weft. With a sett of 20 e.p.i., it's got the gauzy effect I was looking for.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 14/05/2026
Yeah, rainbow linen gauze!
Weaving on the loom; 40/2 linen in rainbow steps for the warp and half-bleached for the weft. With a sett of 20 e.p.i., it's got the gauzy effect I was looking for.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
Ghost warp! 40/2 linen at 20 e.p.i. Going for the gauze ...
A loom dressed with a warp of very fine linen threads in rainbow colors, ready to weave.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 10/05/2026
Hemstitching a new shawl and binge-watching Gustavo Enciklopedija. #Weaving
An eye-catching (eye-watering) blend of rayon bouclé and cotton chenille in pink, purple, and orange.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/05/2026
Stopped downtown to introduce my son to some protesters while running errands. An Enthusiastic Person in Capris approached. EPIC: "Oh, wow! Are you ... Are you #HeatherCoxRichardson?" Me: "I wish." EPIC: "Me, too. That would be so cool! But we're glad you're here, too!"
A woman (who was just mistaken for a supremely cool person) in a dark red shirt, holding a coffee mug that reads, "Naughty."
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 12/04/2026
In my search for the perfect waiting room project, there were certain limitations to be considered. No charts, no counting, and no need to carefully wind everything up and put it away before keeping up and running down the hall after the nurse (or whomever). 🧵
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
Brushing up on yet another post-apocalyptic life skill because reasons. #nalbinding #socks
One complete and one partial nålbound sock in oatmeal wool, lying on a tartan background.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
Spent the morning mangling Genitive and Accusative case endings. Thankfully, my teacher is very patient and encouraging. I'll get it sorted out.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 27/02/2026
Straight-up evil.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
Pam Bondi has no soul.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/02/2026
Bad Bunny's #halftime show was cool. Exuberant, defiant, joyful, and proud. A hugely important "teachable moment" wrapped in a thousand clever Easter eggs.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
ICE must go. And they must be held accountable for murder and terrorism. Alex Pretti Renee Nicole Good Keith Porter Geraldo Lunas Campos Victor Manuel Diaz Parady La Luis Beltran Yanez-Cruz Heber Sanchez Dominguez
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omallj.bsky.social @omallj.bsky.social · 16/01/2026
newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/Profi...
newhope.shelterbuddy.com
At-Risk Profile: Ares
Ares is at-risk of euthanasia and needs placement. Please consider opening your home today!
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Reposted by Elzbieta the Onion
Saulė / Saule @sankuperis.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
Hey, Two spots available to my Lithuanian course for total beginners. Tuesday 18:30-20:00 EET. Once a week. Sign up saulesonnesun@gmail.com
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 06/01/2026
I'm not sure that my kid is the one who needs to learn more. #recruiter #wtf
Text message bubbles on a light blue background. First text is full of typos and purports to be from a recruiter. Response text is deliberately obtuse.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
Wow. #Pantone's Color of the Year is ... white. As another commenter called them, "Pantone-deaf." Way to read the room y'all. 😑
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 02/12/2025
I've been taking the course myself. 10/10, would take again. Labai gerai!
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 30/11/2025
I'm impressed by my kid's fascination with #time and #space. He's trying to figure out the difference (in quectoseconds) between when you see a thing and when you see its reflection. Meanwhile, MY brain is tossing out random questions such as, "What do boogers smell like?"
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 29/11/2025
#UPS wants to know, "What can brown do for you?" The answer, apparently, is Jack shit. A useless website, a dead chatbot, and an invoice with no explanations.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
I'd rather be in a REAL @stephenking.bsky.social story. The Penny Dreadful hellscape we're currently living through sucks an entire donkey ranch's worth of ass. First person to bring me the word processor of the gods earns my undying gratitude and a homemade cheesecake.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
I would like some Andes Mints and some good news. Whatcha got? #SomethingGoodAboutYourDay
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
I love it when someone who's spent less than five consecutive minutes with my kid tries to tell me the best place to send "someone ... um ... like him." I love it so very much that I have to fight REALLY hard not to return the favor and tell them where to put their opinion.
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 06/10/2025
SALT: Standing Against Lowlife Traitors. #SaltMeltsIce
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 04/10/2025
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Elzbieta the Onion @elzbietaonion.bsky.social · 14/09/2025
Left: "Bubble bath! Bubble bath! Bubble bath!" Right: Quack Sabbath
Rubber ducks painted to look like Beetlejuice and Ozzy Osbourne, sitting on a red shelf.
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