iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 18/05/2025

“but you have no reason to be anxious” bold of u to assume i need a reason

ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 20/04/2025

Men really took the most tender, sensitive part of their body (balls) and made it synonymous with toughness and strength. adorbs

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 17/04/2025

new oversharing substack just dropped! read & subscribe if you please 💖

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 16/04/2025

I told my four year old I loved her and she said “I love you so much that if someone chopped your head off I’d carry it around forever in a bag”

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 15/04/2025

YES I filed my TAXES because I’m a RESPONSIBLE ADULT and an ARTIST and that’s exactly WHY when I say I FILED MY TAXES what I MEAN is I filed an EXTENSION. again

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 11/04/2025

new substack just dropped, would love you to read 💖

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

every morning when vyvanse kicks in I have a 45 min window in which I’m capable of texting back, answering emails and generally being a functional person. if u miss me in that window, sooo sorry try again tmw babe

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

me when girls get drunk & end up slurring “ive always wondered what it’d be like to kiss a woman…”

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 24/03/2025

wish I could’ve been in the meeting where copywriter presented this on a slide deck. an icon tbh!

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Reposted by ely kreimendahl

ashley ray @theashleyray.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

miss her every day

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

2008 was crazy. you could really just throw on a gold leotard, hot pink tights and a giant statement Owl necklace and call it a night

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

my fellow queer & trans people: in these horrifying times, now more than EVER, it is SO important we prioritize having an unhinged amount of filthy queer sex

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

know I’m getting old bc every song playing in this dentist’s office is a goddamn BOP. counting crows, the cranberries, MGMT?! I’ll take one unnecessary root canal, pls

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

marriage is hard, but we don’t talk enough about how with the right person it’s also just having a fun slutty giggly sleepover for the rest of your life

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 10/02/2025

Kendrick’s jeans are 90s teen/ elder millennial representation

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 07/02/2025

gotta be honest. with everything absolutely crumbling around us…the disappearing and crashing planes situation is pushing me over the edge

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 01/02/2025

being a queer & trans family is unspeakably weird right now, because my to do list is like 1. Buy toilet paper 2. Get groceries 3. Get passports for the kids in case we need to leave the country

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 29/01/2025

I know this is terrible but return-to-office would be 1000000% better if you could vape

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

it’s honestly so important to bring the slutty queer vibes to the corporate hang

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

trying to explain my social media job to my friend who saves lives for a living

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

hey my husband & I saw you and your boyfriend from across the bar. we think you need couples therapy, here’s our therapist Emily’s number she rules

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 25/01/2025

“you’re so funny” thanks one time in English AP I compared Brothers Karamazov to the 90’s Sandra Bullock movie “The Net” and it became a running bit in class the entire year

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 23/01/2025

be careful what you say around kids. I don’t mean cursing I mean I just turned to my six yr old and said “this train’s so crowded” and she was like “LITERALLLLLLLY”

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 01/01/2025

absolute worst guy you know is currently telling his friends he’s gonna “try his hand at standup comedy”

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 31/12/2024

I don’t think America is ready for 2025. needs a few years to sit and reflect its life choices

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 27/12/2024

December is all about giving up. caramel corn for breakfast? yes. Sweatpants outside? hard yes. working hard to actualize your dreams? lol NOPE see you next year

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

being home for the holidays is all about your parents being like HEY REMEMBER WHEN THAT TERRIBLE EMBARRASSING THING HAPPENED TO YOU HAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 25/12/2024

depressed people are like let’s play some Christmas music and put on River by Joni Mitchell

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 19/12/2024

I fear I’m Exactly like Other girls ( I say please & thank you to chat gpt because I don’t want to be rude or hurt its feelings)

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

with every passing year, I may not get smarter, prettier or wiser. but I do get cuntier

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

sometimes I play a game called Race Against Time, and it’s me trying to frenetically absorb as many obscure facts about a singular obscure subject as possible before my phone dies. after which, the subject too, is also forever dead to me. it’s fun

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 01/12/2024

that thing where you grew up in the 90s so once in a while u need to casually google whether or not you’re allowed to be yourself 😭

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

I don’t HATE Wicked, I’m just holding space for the part of me that’s compelled to hate the thing that everybody loves

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

change my password??? but that’s my emotional support same password I’ve used for everything since I was 15

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

I want a drug that recreates the feeling of being a kid who falls asleep in the car and is then gently carried to bed

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 29/11/2024

“what would you do if you were gonna die tmw” literally just smoke cigarettes

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 02/07/2023

more like Supreme Court injustices, amirite

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 02/07/2023

wow you’re so detail- oriented!! (derogatory)

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 02/07/2023

99% of parenting is just sitting down and getting right back up

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 24/05/2023

the gay agenda? you mean making a big pot of soup and sharing it with a group of gay people while you collaboratively complete a kitten puzzle

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 23/05/2023

instead of asking “how are you,” we should start conversations with “so what’s been haunting you this week”

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 22/05/2023

i’m basically an avocado. come at me before I’m ready and I’m like GET AWAY FROM ME but then ignore me for two seconds and I will ROT

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 19/05/2023

wish I loved anything as much as Gwyneth Paltrow loves being unrelatable

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 12/05/2023

the way I feel about Bluesky is exactly how I felt with my boyfriends in high school before I came out. like I WANT to want to, but my heart’s not in it

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ely kreimendahl @elykreimendahl.bsky.social · 07/05/2023

nothing makes you feel better about your relationship than married upstairs neighbors who are always SCREAMING

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