Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 18/04/2025"Why the #segmentation in the throat scales?" Dr. Crews poked at the glistening shards. The throat scales popped apart. Spores sprayed her face shield. Dr. Chang said, "Retributive violence after its death?" Dr. Crews' face shield shattered. Spores swarmed. #vss365 2153
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 17/04/2025"You are lucky #customer MS-13!" "Lucky MS-13?" She shot him in the face. "Why!" wailed his girlfriend, falling to her knees. "Because statistically 1 out of every 4 US citizens are racists and bigots. I'm just taking out the trash." #vss365 1102
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 16/04/2025"Product management is about quality. #Marketing is about profit. Quality never ensures profit. That's why the marketing department has a bigger budget." "That's why our ugly cars explode, you know." "Only profit matters if you are a real man." #vss365 0141
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 15/04/2025They stood rigid in the sun, trapped in a triangle of pointed pistols. Moments ticked by. #Pressure mounted. Vultures circled high above. The air sizzled, burst into flames, and from them a bald stranger stepped into the desert. He shot them all before they could ask. #vss365 1102
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 12/04/2025What could be bad about a man with that smile, I thought. But Leo had a #nightmare in his pocket. He was my first. Back then, the infiltration of the Schrawdags was only rumor. Now I have 7 jars with 7 cocks with jagged edges on my shelf. The cops call me Cleaver. #vss365 193
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 11/04/2025"Hey girl, are you my #dream?" Her smile widened till it reached her ears. Her jaw unhinged. Long slick somethings squirmed up her exposed throat and coiled behind her double row of teeth. "Hey boy." The voice rumbled out of her breastbone. "You're my lunch." #vss365 091
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 08/04/2025"Why have you never helped before?" I stood among abandoned cars and the growl of seismic activity. The alien tilted its head, a stolen gesture. "We're recovering resources. You aren't intelligent #life, never were." I was alive enough to rip off its bug-eyed head. #vss365 052
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 07/04/2025The woman stood over the sniveling CEO. "I don't believe in justice." Agents Kane and Pitt rounded the corner, guns drawn. She shot them both in the knee, letting them bleed and bear witness. She put a bullet through the CEO's skull. "I believe in #death." #vss365 0122
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 07/04/2025www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz3k...youtube.comO' Death (Haunted Version)YouTube video by Bobby Bass - Topic 000
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 07/04/2025The Rickety Women circled Pap's casket and wailed "Oh #Death." Oak boughs shook. In the rain of leaves came a couple arm in arm. He wore a black Preacher suit. She wore a gauzy white dress. He knelt at Pap's dead head and she at his feet. Their jaws unhinged. #vss365 151
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 07/04/2025I see #death moving through the rubble like a flash mob. Too tall, too skinny, dust on their zoot suits. They remind me of the Snow Miser, until one gets in my face. It doesn't have a nose. I blink and it isn't dancing anymore. It's a slab of concrete and it hits me. #vss365 071
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 05/04/2025Sister #Time was once a beautiful crystal bridge that linked the Womb Mother with Memaw Death. But then we let in men. They kicked the crystal and smeared shit in the cracks. Men's the reason time hurts so much from start to end. #vss365 0122
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 04/04/2025"The #distance between your heart and mine is too great." He tipped her chair back and plunged the knife into her chest. No blood. No screaming. Just her smile. "Make sure you are the worst monster in the field," she said, snapping the zip ties around her wrists. 120
Reposted by Ellen JoyceAeryn Rudel @aerynrudel.bsky.social · 03/04/2025Helsing & Sons is the tailor of choice for fashionable monster hunters. Whether a blazer sewn with silver #thread for full-moon events, bite-proof collars for navigating local nightlife, or iron cufflinks to thwart spells and glamours, Helsing & Sons effortlessly combines style and slaying. #vss365 0142
Reposted by Ellen JoyceThe Card @thecard.bsky.social · 01/04/2025If you’d like to help me continue creating immensely stupid comics during an immensely challenging time, please consider sharing and/or dropping a tip and/or becoming a monthly donor. Many thanks!ko-fi.comSupport The Card ❤️ Ko-fi.com/thecardSupport The Card On Ko-fi. Ko-fi lets you support the people and causes you love with small donations 052
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 01/04/2025media.tenor.coma man in a grey jacket is pointing at somethingALT: a man in a grey jacket is pointing at something 010
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 01/04/2025Nothing so magnificent as the indignation of a pimp staring at the bloody stump of his left wrist. Nothing so satisfying as licking the blood. I am the Corset that breaks the ribs of the underworld. I am more than the night. #WeirdMicro 230
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 01/04/2025She didn't just inherit intergenerational trauma from her rich grandparents, but also a four-piece vintage Louis Vuitton #luggage set. With a Husqvarna chain saw she stole from the neighbor's shed, she began the end of her life with sweet sugar vengeance. #vss365 0191
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 31/03/2025She put two sticks of what appeared to be Wrigleys chewing gum on the table. "One leads to #euphoria. One produces phantasmagoria. Your choice?" He shifted the toothpick in his mouth. "Ain't no difference, and I like it loud. I'll take 'em both." #vss365 1111
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 30/03/2025"I call it #velveteen. It's so soft." She licked the slice of processed cheese product. "I love the way it squishes between my tongue and soft palette!" She grinned, orange goo stuck to her teeth. I looked away from her maniacal eyes. "Senator, the vote is in an hour." #vss365 0111
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 29/03/2025Alexi centered his bulk in front of the outraged ranger. "We do not have a permit. We are simply drilling in the ice." The ranger's eye widened, in fear this time. Alexi turned to see #gossamer threads, pulsing like veins, climbing like vines up the drill shaft. #vss365 0122
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 28/03/2025Last option. Nothing is so noble as an appreciated meal. 110
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 28/03/2025"Once I called her 'my petit #mignonette' with the fake Frenchie accent and the leer, the whole thing, and she shot me in the face. That's why I'm stuck haunting this stupid old hotel." What came through the static on the spirit box was "save me." #vss365 0202
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 26/03/2025I got all up in matching words with the "-in" prefix. 110
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 26/03/2025Insensate and #insatiable, they lurched and crawled chewing up not only human flesh but everything. Asphalt, window glass, car bumpers: everything. Heidi huddled in the attic, covering her ears. But the relentless sound of grinding teeth, she couldn't escape it. #vss365 2162
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 26/03/2025heir hunger as inscrutable as it was #insatiable, the microorganisms first sucked off wings. Billions of mutilated birds and insects writhed across the earth. They fed on blood, filtering light through their bloated forms. Those left alive ran through a hungry red fog. #vss365 092
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 25/03/2025The music lifted from strings under her fingers to ratchet apart his rib cage. The #desire pulsed in his ears, set him shaking. Why couldn't he be a vampire content to ease his needs with anyone's blood? Why did it have to be the blood of someone who created such beauty? #vss365 0111
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 24/03/2025He needed inspiration - inspiratus - breathed into or he would melt into bones never hearing music again. Inspiratus. He shop vacced the air above a lily field, then gripped the nozzle in his teeth. He switched on reverse. Inspiratus. Such music bursting in his ears. #vss365 0141
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 21/03/2025The scientists watched as the thing unhinged its jaw, as two thick tongues wrapped around the #radioactive bait. "Swallow it, motherfucker," whispered one. It chewed then swallowed it. Unaffected, it turned its 27 eyes on the scientists. The slit pupils narrowed. #vss365 1193
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 20/03/2025When eternal undeath seems too much of a commitment, #Sempiternal can be your ticket to forever with an asterisk. With our exclusive modular timeline feature, you can live 1,000 years when and where you choose, and still count on the comfort of inevitable death. #vss365 0131
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 17/03/2025She called it The #Lullaby of Jersey: a piano wire wrapped on both ends around polished finger bones. Nobody heard that song twice. #vss365 1131
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 16/03/2025"Is he meant by nature to be that shade of #cerulean skies?" "It's natural if he's been recently killed by asphyxiation." "If he's been recently killed by asphyxiation he shouldn't be lurching towards us with an axe." "That's not an axe. That's the constable's arm." #vss365 0122
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 15/03/2025Intent on surviving the #interregnum between my father's wives, I perfected thieving. He knew the count of all the cash in his orbit, so I became a procurer of things. My father had two of everything. What do you want, sir? What do you desire, madam? What will you pay? #vss365 0111
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 14/03/2025"Your #myopic focus on people, people, people and all their petty needs. Food, water, housing? Blah, blah, blah! What about philosophical purity? What about righteous action? What about--" She shot him in the face, and everyone cheered. #vss365 0221
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 13/03/2025In fine form he was #obstreperous but physically? Leprous. When he juggled he was dexterous But he's no one's romantic preference. This #vss365 brought to you by RhymeZone.comrhymezone.comRhymeZone rhyming dictionary and thesaurus 1141
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 13/03/2025He called himself Obstre Perous but no matter how loud and unruly he behaved, nobody got the joke. If only people had forced themselves to read The Mayor of Casterbridge, but no: literacy was dead. #vss365 #obstreperous 1141
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 12/03/2025In the silence he heard only his breathing. Then the cave reverberated with #chimes. From the mists above his head, something squealed. He tugged at the rope tethering his ankle to the stake. More squealing. Lots of throats. His ankle bled. He tugged. He screamed. #vss365 191
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 11/03/2025The flatulent shaggy pony and the extravagantly fluffy ewe shared a forbidden barnyard intimacy, resulting in a litter of peculiarly #flocculent offspring that, much to the delight of the farmer's wife, ate the farmer. She started a successful spouse disposal business. #vss365 0111
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 11/03/2025Thank you. It's horribleness pales in comparison to today's prompt word. 010
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Dear President Zelenskyy, I understand important US financial secrets have been extracted by a team of incels whose balls have not yet dropped. I further understand that China has excellent hackers. Go team. 040
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 10/03/2025media.tenor.coma man in a suit and tie is looking downALT: a man in a suit and tie is looking down 000
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 10/03/2025She went through the flirting #rigmarole til he was good and hard. Then she leaned close. "My vagina smells like petrichor. Earth and worms." Sweet like nectar, his confusion. Thunder rumbled. Rain fell from the roof. The wood surface of the bar cracked. A crow cawed. #vss365 0171
Ellen Joyce @ellenjoyce.bsky.social · 10/03/2025Here come The #Riagmorale they'd say on the DuPier Canal when they saw the razor sharp wake in the water. Get out the way, they'd mutter when the thick tentacles wrapped around the street lamp. Somebody gonna get eaten today. #vss365 0101
