Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Why for the love of all that is holy are there freakin' FIREWORKS on a WEDNESDAY?!?!?!? 1101
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Infuriatingly, this week I feel myself called to recommend the book Missoula by Jon Krakauer. An absolute MUST READ, though I wish it didn't have to exist in the first place.goodreads.comMissoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College TownFrom bestselling author Jon Krakauer, a stark, powerful… 110
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Any do I have to do a captcha to pay a speeding ticket? What's the concern? That a bot might start paying random people's tickets? Oh noo! 150
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 26/09/2026I'm running for office to propose a New Law: Banning all fireworks on nights that are not NYE, July 4th, or an event I personally am attending. Alternative Law: no fireworks allowed anytime I personally am trying to sleep. 070
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Where the heck are The Boys, Orange is the New Black, The Haunting of Hill House, and Midnight Mass?! 110
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 25/09/2026Neighborhood listserv sent out a report on reasonable and helpful proposed safety improvements near our local elementary school. How do my totally sane neighbors respond? Response 1: "Some elementary school children are not experienced drivers." ? Response 2: "What happened to sAfEtY pAtRoLs?!??" 060
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 25/09/2026I tell ya what... nothing crushes self confidence faster than going shopping for clothes. jfc I FEEL like I'm a somewhat normal- looking person with an in-shape body. The fitting room mirror begs to differ. 051
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Oof...alxwhere #6 · 1,784/3,000 🟩🟧🟥 1. 951 pts · 381 ft off 2. 560 pts · 0.50 mi off 3. 273 pts · 1.08 mi off alxwhere.comalxwhere.comalxwhereHow well do you know Alexandria, VA? Three spots a day, 1000 points each. 240
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 23/09/2026alxwhere #5 · 1,881/3,000 🟥🟨🟩 1. 147 pts · 1.58 mi off 2. 734 pts · 0.28 mi off 3. 1000 pts · 69 ft off alxwhere.comalxwhere.comalxwhereHow well do you know Alexandria, VA? Three spots a day, 1000 points each. 240
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 22/09/2026Has anyone on here every spray-painted a onesie (using regular spray paint from Home Depot) to change the entire onesie's color? Did it work? 200
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 21/09/2026I won an award at work last week. It came with this challenge coin. 150
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 16/09/2026I was about to say "Go home, Amazon, you're drunk!" Then I remembered that, oh yeah, I totally DID search for these items. JFC sometimes I even weird myself out. 040
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 15/09/2026Have you been invited to any weddings recently? Got any of those invitations laying around that you haven't gotten around the recycling yet? I would LOVE to take them off your hands! 020
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 15/09/2026I'm in the middle of writing a cheesy novel where our romantic lead saves our protagonist from execution, gunfire, angry mobs, and lecherous creeps. He admires her mind, feisty spirit, and athleticism. Meanwhile my real-life spouse is sending me this: 1100
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 12/09/2026I'm the only ALXskeeter picking our hometown history? 020
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 11/09/2026I've been thinking about this ALL DAY... Why don't the 3600 1/2 people swap the address to being on Executive Ave? 330
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 11/09/2026At the gallery place metro right now and they just announced over the loudspeaker that we are doing a minute moment of silence to commemorate 9/11. 020
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 09/09/2026What's the best place in/near Alexandria to to buy a super fancy cocktail dress or gown? 210
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 08/09/2026Having a sick dog (particularly one adopted from a foreign country) can result in some weird conversations: 170
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 07/09/2026My apologies that I'll likely keep reposting this for a while but... I'm still collecting USED WEDDING STUFF if you've got any clutter to offload! Decorations, invitations, programs, cheesy signs, etc. ANY customization! ANY condition! ANY quantity! Also accepting Bachelorette/ bridal shower crap. 020
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 06/09/2026More adventures with the world's worst gardener: There is something very wrong with my "zucchini" plant. 060
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Got all excited to try this dialect test that's all the rage. Then realized it's a whopping 60 questions. How do you people have attention spans for something like this?! Anyway, the first 15Q or so kept swapping me between West Virginia, Utah, & New Hampshire, so I guess I talk like Mountain Folk. 130
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 04/09/2026My spouse is peacefully sleeping through all of this. What an asshole. 0100
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 03/09/2026trying again: Anyone near ALX looking to unload any old/used wedding decor, invites, programs, props, etc? Any condition. Any quantity. Any customization. Does it have your name on it? Totally fine! Is it covered in dirt of blood or bent up? Totally fine! I'll take any/all of it off your hands! 110
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 26/08/2026The greatest 10 seconds of a long distinguished career. RIPyoutu.beTim Curry is escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism.YouTube video by geoff EXE 000
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 26/08/2026Is Tall Ship Providence still docked at the OT waterfront? I know the museum closed so we can't go onboard, but is the ship still physically there so I can show it to my nephew from the shore? 100
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I thought nothing could brighten my morning more than a video of a robot falling down. I was wrong. Robot buttcrack on fire (after falling down) has just brightened my entire week. Burn, baby, burn!!! Send it straight to my VEINS!!!! 010
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 24/08/2026I've really got to get to that northwestern quadrant one of these days.whereidlive.comUnited States: where I've beenFill in your own version and see where the two of you disagree. 010
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 23/08/2026My apologies to my neighbors whose evenings were disturbed by my very loud expletive-laded freak out. Didn't realize I would have such a strong reaction to my dog eating roadkill. "DROP IT! OH GOD! OH FUCK! OH MY GOD DROP IT! WHY ARE YOU STILL CHEWING?! OH FUCK!" 180
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 22/08/2026In today's edition of Elga Can't Garden And Is Too Lazy To Learn: this zucchini plant is bigger than my car but hasn't produced a single zucchini. I assume I'm doing something wrong. 130
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Today I unpublished my audio books. It's been a long year of feeling more and more like a hypocrite as I grow more outspoken against AI... while not deleting this AI narration thing I test drove last summer. Today's ALXtra newsletter was the final push I needed to just shut that shit down already. 030
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 18/08/2026This is easily the least-important aspect of this week's terrible news cycle, but... Jon Ossoff is a legitimate SUPER HOTTY and targeting his appearance of all things shows a lack of judgment I do not want in a leader. 040
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 17/08/2026Someone who enjoys complaining about stuff please explain to me why I am supposed to hate Wonder (the food place, not the sense of awe.) I could look it up I guess, but don't care enough, plus this method is more fun. 420
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 17/08/2026The Iowa State Fair Mr. Legs competition is exactly the sort of kooky wholesome State Fair fun that SHOULD have been at a "Great America State Fair" and that would have made it legit great. Along with corndogs, obviously. 130
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Hell yeah! Let's get ready to cartographize, suckas! But why do we have to wait 2 whole months? 020
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 13/08/2026Today is Clacton election day!!!!! I'm so excited! Go, Count Binface, Go! 070
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 12/08/2026What in the name of all that is holy is going on in my garden? I've planted 5 different fruits/vegetables, but the only thing growing are these penises. 160
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Would the film Last of the Mohicans still be a masterpiece if it didn't have the world's best soundtrack? 210
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 11/08/2026Any Alexandria-area folks have any used wedding decorations laying around you're looking to unload? I'll take any style, any quantity, any personalization, any condition (like, if they are covered in blood that would actually be perfect.) Leftover programs, invites, placecards, etc all welcome! 320
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 09/08/2026I miss the old Mega-sized Buy Nothing group that covered half the city. I'd ask for something random like "haunted doll" and a bunch of weirdos would immediately respond "OMG please come take this creepy thing off my hands!" My tiny group is so boring. It's all toddler toys and beige decor. 4120
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 09/08/2026Checking out ye olde historic battle scooters at Fort Ward Park. 1141
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 04/08/2026Every single time I go to vote, I reflect on how insanely easy and convenient it is for me: Polling place 1 block away, well-staffed, no lines. Plus plenty of early-voting options, and a registrar's office that has its shit together and has real, knowledgeable human beings answer the phone! BUT... 170
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 03/08/2026Researching for my current novel is sending me down some unexpected rabbit holes. The current example: Harpsichord music. Holy shit, harpsichord music ROCKS! Have you guys heard of this guy called Bach? He's got some BANGERS! Concerto in a Minor for Four Unaccompanied Harpsichords is my new jam. 030
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Midnight Treats is THE BEST and you should give them all your business. My absolute favorite cookies (soooo good), and they're vegan to boot! Plus the quickest delivery in Alexandria. I don't work for them, I just want to make sure they stay in business cuz I can't live without them. 180
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Business idea: carry-out Alexandria restaurant serving all the random foods I want that I can't find: - boozy milkshakes - cake pops - poke bowls - Korean BBQ - pierogis - dairy-free ice cream cake - Speka bars - [INSERT OTHER SUGGESTIONS FROM YOU PEOPLE HERE] 780
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 01/08/2026ALXskeets: where can I get a boozy milkshake to go? 440
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 26/07/2026My neighbors have way more faith in the little basin at the end of their slip 'n slide than I would. 2142
Clem Fandanga @elgalv.bsky.social · 26/07/2026I know nobody cares about Wordle anymore but... LOOK AT THIS! Wordle 1,863 2/6 🟩🟩⬛🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 280
