iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I told Mrs. Eggz I’d change the lightbulbs. So now I’m on a ladder asking them about their feelings.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I tried to make Mrs. Eggz breakfast in bed, but I spilled bacon grease all over the blanket🤦🏻‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

I was looking for my glasses the other day. Mrs. Eggz suggested I check the top of my head... I would like the record to show that I did find my glasses by myself.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Mrs. Eggz encouraged me to think ahead more, so I proudly told her that I know tomorrow is Wednesday. She rolled her eyes so hard, I think she pulled a muscle.🙄

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Mrs. Eggz asked me to be more supportive of her, so I held the ladder while she cleaned all the gutters this weekend...

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I told Mrs. Eggz she should embrace her mistakes. That must have made her happy, because she gave me a huge hug!

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Mrs. Eggz was doing a crossword and asked for help. ‘I need a word for an overworked mailman’. I asked her, ‘how many letters?’ She said, ‘probably too many’. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

The doctor said I should lose a little weight. So I shaved my head and decided to stop wearing clothes.👀

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Mrs. Eggz told me I wasn't the dumbest guy in the world. I said, "Aw, thanks, babe!" She said, "Don't thank me yet, they haven't finished counting the votes". FML🤦‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 19/08/2026

They tell you that you should just say no to drugs... but if I’m talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

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Reposted by 🍳eggzbacn🥓

🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

I was in the grocery store today when I tripped and nearly fell. A lady saw me and I was really embarrassed. So I said, “sorry, it’s been a while since I possessed a body.”

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

I was in the grocery store today when I tripped and nearly fell. A lady saw me and I was really embarrassed. So I said, “sorry, it’s been a while since I possessed a body.”

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

Everything I know about Greek Mythology I learned from watching Percy Jackson on Disney.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 15/08/2026

I told rock bottom I wasn’t staying long. It handed me a loyalty card. FML…🤦🏻‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Mrs. Eggz yelled at me in the kitchen, "What's taking you so long in there?!?" I told her I dropped an ice cube in the boiling water, and I was having a really hard time finding it. 🤷‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

I promised Mrs. Eggz I’d be more spontaneous. So I wrote it on the calendar.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 08/08/2026

I asked life to show me a sign. It sent me a bill. FML🙄

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Sometimes smart people can piss me off. I asked this one guy at the gym, “Hey, why aren’t koalas considered bears?” He said, “because they’re marsupials”. Shut up super nerd, the answer is “they don’t have koalafications”. SMH. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

I was in a coma a few years ago. When I woke up, Mrs. Eggz immediately changed out of her black clothing and said in a huff, “I really cannot depend on you for anything, can I!”

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

When we were first dating, I told Mrs. Eggz I was good in bed. What I meant was that I could sleep for 12 hours straight.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried — I think she’s jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Today I went to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

I told my therapist I have trust issues. She said “Are you sure?“

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

Mrs. Eggz tells me I’m her rock. Mostly because I sit in one place and don’t move.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

My parents raised me as an only child... it really pissed off my brother.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you, but if you donate five kidneys, they call the police?🤷‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I told my psychiatrist that I’d been hearing voices. He told me that I don’t have a psychiatrist.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 20/07/2026

There is a rumor going around work that they are going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch it’s going to be me me…🤷‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

A king and a queen walk into a bar. The bartender says ‘Sorry I can’t serve you. You’re not 21’.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. I’m okay, but for a while it felt like I dyed a little inside.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

It’s important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

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Reposted by 🍳eggzbacn🥓

🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

I discovered that “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral. The good news is, I’m out on bail; the bad news is the obituary now lists me as “cause of incident.”

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 15/07/2026

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

Pro tip: If at first you don’t succeed, then sky diving isn’t for you.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 13/07/2026

For some fucking reason, you guys think he’s the shit. He’s a fucking asshole. I never interacted with this ahole. I’ve gone quiet for a while, I’m trying to come back, but here is a reason that I went quiet. He posted shit with no reason or evidence fuck PsychoPete. Please block this motherfucker.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

The doctor told me getting a vasectomy meant I wouldn’t have kids any more. Imagine my surprise when I came home after the surgery, and they were still there. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

Oh, nothing. Just reposting because a certain daughter called a certain father today to talk about how meaningful this was. On Father’s Day. 🥲

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 19/05/2026

Happy husband of 1. Proud papa of 3. I speak fluent typo and I swear like a sailor. Political shitposting is a bonus. It’s 5 AM somewhere 🍳🥓

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Reposted by 🍳eggzbacn🥓

💫Foxy💫 @getyourfoxyback.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

It’s National Twilight Zone Day 🦊 Meet and Greet 🦊 The television show The Twilight Zone was created, written, and narrated by Rod Serling. It premiered on October 1, 1959. The episodes were wildly popular and stretched the imagination The show aired from 1959-1964. We will be okay Love Foxy

1919 Washington Senators future Baseball Hall of Fame ace Walter Johnson pitches 12 scoreless innings in a famous 0-0 duel with Jack Quinn of the NY
Yankees at the Polo Grounds
1928 General Electric opens 1st TV-station in Schenectady, New York
1934 Great dust bowl storm sweeps across the American and Canadian prairies traveling as far as the East Coast
1947 BF Goodrich announced the development of tubeless tire (Akron Ohio)
1956 Elvis Presley's ist entry on UK charts with "Heartbreak Hotel"
1960 Israeli soldiers capture Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann in Buenos Aires
1963 "Puff (The Magic Dragon" single by Peter, Paul & Mary hits #2; Peter Yarrow adapted a poem that college classmate Lenny Lipton had left behind after borrowing Yarrow's typewriter
1970 "The Long and Winding Road" becomes Beatles' last American single release
1987 Trial of former Gestapo commandant Klaus Barbie begins in France for war crimes during World War II
2021 First major US offshore windfarm off the coast of Massachusetts approved by Biden administration

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

While you’re at it, block this fucking fuck, too. This has zero merit. If I have done what she accuses me of, please post it publicly. I have nothing to hide. Dcombes and psychopete sought to trash me with nothing to back it up. Fuck them.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

More from asshole psychopete who doesn’t know me at all. Who makes shit up about me and pats himself on the back for being a savior. He’s an asshole. Block his ass. Fuck this fucking fuck.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Y’all think psychopete is some kind of hero. He posts this about me and doesn’t even know me. We never had any interaction ever. We were mutual follows, but he’s just an asshole. Nothing in these posts is true.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 11/05/2026

Hey all. I’ve been in and out. A few bad apples spread shit about me that wasn’t true. It hurt. I still hurt. Thought a lot of those people were friends, but they ganged up like schoolyard bullies and totally made shit up. But it had their desired effect, and I went away. I’m trying to come back.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 10/05/2026

I’m still hurting, people. I was laid low by low people. Sorry I’ve not been around. I’m not yet comfortable again in the space I once felt was my home. I’ll be okay. It’s just fits and starts. So glad to see all of you. I’ll keep checking in. I may repost a couple #eggzthreeadz. We’ll see.

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Reposted by 🍳eggzbacn🥓

💫Foxy💫 @getyourfoxyback.bsky.social · 22/04/2026

It’s National 🌍 Earth Day 🦊 Meet and Greet 🦊 To day we celebrate our planet and the many ways we can protect our planet Such as renewable energy, composting, recycling, and energy efficient cars as some of the many ways we can reduce our carbon footprint We will be okay Love Foxy

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Reposted by 🍳eggzbacn🥓

🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

You didn’t disappear. You adapted. You didn’t lose identity. You integrated it. You didn’t lose voice. You refined it. You didn’t lose your personality You learned how to be personal without being vulnerable to people who don’t deserve access to you.

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 18/04/2026

People who: believed lies but didn't ask me didn’t come to me directly didn’t give me benefit of the doubt didn’t know the full story They are not my friends. They were people who liked the persona, not the person. Losing them is not a loss. It’s a cleansing. Bye Felicia! Whew!

media.tenor.com

a man with a beard is sitting on a couch with his hand on his chin and says `` bye felicia '' .

ALT: a man with a beard is sitting on a couch with his hand on his chin and says `` bye felicia '' .

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🍳eggzbacn🥓 @eggzbacn.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

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