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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993.

@eggbert.bsky.social
130 followers 298 following 2.4K posts

Banner illustration by @eckabeck.bsky.social Portrait by some office building's front desk guest pass security camera. (((He/him))) #DnD, #Dimension20, #Dropout, #VideoGames, #Books, #TV, #Anime, #Movies, #Music

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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 18h
Quote repost with a photo from whatever device you’re using without explanation
A navy blue baseball cap with a square patch on it. The patch shows an embroidered rooster and the caption "cock" on a white background.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
They saw cowardice and decided to proceed with courage.
Jersey Mike's Subs Twitter account asked, "How do you top your sub?"

Same account later posted, "blocked. Blocked. Blocked. You're all blocked."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Too subtle?
A London tube sign of a red ring on a white background overlaid with "SOUTH OF HOUSTON" in white letters on a blue horizontal bar.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Neat!
A London tube sign saying "EAT FRESH" as the name of the station. This implies that this is Subway rather than the London tube.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I remember MEATBALLS featuring an attempted rape scene played for laughs… Also…
Panel from a comic book parody of the movie ROBIN HOOD: PRINCE OF THIEVES from MAD magazine #307, December 1991.

Prince John grapples Marion rapaciously saying, "we're going to make that royal baby! "

A Greek chorus of women in the background comment, "This is supposed to be a funny scene?"

"With all the 'political correctness' of this film, how come they're playing rape scene for laughs?"

"Maybe they think violating a woman is funny."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 19/09/2026
I'm sorry what?
A photo of exit turnstiles in a New York City subway station. The sign hanging from the ceiling says "Exit, 34th St PATH, Penn station B,D,F,M ➡️"

The sign below it attached to he metallic panel says in mock mosaic, "MOLTEN CORE."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
/sick drum solo
The United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps performed at Chicago Memorial Day

CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, UNITED STATES
05.25.2019
Photo by Lt. Col. Bradford Leighton 
Joint Force Headquarters - Illinois National Guard Public Affairs
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 04/09/2026
Jesus can't help you now; you need some holy water and a good whip.
In a screenshot from Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest, Simon Belmont faces off against Carmilla.

Carmilla looks like a giant floating grinning porcelain mask with a crack under its left eye.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Ah-yup
MapQuest app icon
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Gotta say, whoever's in charge of your YouTube posts is either very bad or very good at their job. 😂🍆🍑 #WorldsBeyondNumber #DnD
YouTube notification at 5:35am

Worlds Beyond Number
We finally get into it: 
Who has the biggest d…
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 21/08/2026
A news article with the headline "James Bond writer tempted to set next 007 movie in surprise location"The back of a Volkswagen Beetle. 

Ha ha! Mallrats reference!
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 16/08/2026
Me definitely to my mobile phone and most of my time to my printer…
Wesley Snipes dressed in a suit with brimmed hat pointing a revolver while crying.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 14/07/2026
Dennis Miller from SNL weekend update quotes the below post.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
And if you tilt the camera down slightly you'd see Source: www.oglaf.com/caw/
A comic strip with ten panels. 

A crow wakes up in a tree with a start cawing, "Fuck!"

As he gathers leaves under his wings he caws, "Fuckfuckfuck."

As he runs down a city street he caws, "Fuuuck fuckfuck."

As he runs up the steps to a building he caws, "fuck fuck."

He rushes into a court room and explains to the judge, "Sorry I'm late- there were problems with a witness and I had to file..."

He pauses.

"I'm not a lawyer at all am I?"

The judge replies, "I don't think so."

The crow drops his leaves and admits, "Thank god. I was unprepared."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Oopsie doopsie #BattlestarGalactica
The starship Enterprise orbits a green and purple planet. 

The episode title reads "LUKE AND LEIA CONSUMMATE THEIR MARRIAGE."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 04/05/2026
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 03/05/2026
In a still from the movie Shaun of the Dead, the titular Sean is speaking on a white cordless phone. In the background his friend, Ed, is busy eating something. 

Shaun has red on him.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Too much fun…
Richter Belmont confronts count Dracula sitting on his throne atop a red carpeted dais and surrounded by tall candelabra. 

Dracula says, "are you fed up with politicians unwilling to fight for you? Because I am. I've had enough of MAGA…"
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 28/04/2026
Credit and apologies to @alice.averlong.com's Death Generator. deathgenerator.com#baddudes
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Imagine making AI slop when Dracula Parrots already exist #birds
A female Dracula parrot from the Cincinnati zoo. She has a black tail, red abdomen, black wings edged in red, and black chest and head.

Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:PesquetsParrot03.jpg#mw-jump-to-license
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 25/04/2026
Imagine making AI slop when Bearded Vultures already exist #birds
A Bearded Vulture with white plumage tinted pink from its diet of bone and marrow.

It also has black feathers on its wings and chest and a black stripe from its red and yellow eyes, down its beak, and curved down into a tuft of feathers dangling from the side of its jaw.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 09/04/2026
It's no @artbutmakeitsports.bsky.social, but there's something there…
YouTube suggests two shorts:

On the left, Count Dracula looms over Richter Belmont, standing three times as tall even hunched toward the human.

On the right, Lucy Darling reaches down from the stage wearing a shiny blue dress to a man wearing a brimmed hat with a feather in it. 

Both images resemble each other with a taller figure reaching down in the same direction toward a shorter (or lower) figure.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 07/04/2026
Katie Marovitch gives sleep paralysis demons second thoughts about their career. She's proof Satan won something on technicality. She can be found DMing for the residents of the Backrooms in her free time. She gave Mr. Mxyzptlk wedgies and swirlies in middle school. #Dimension20 #Dropout
Katie Marovitch dressed as a high-fantasy wood with straight blonde hair braided at the back and point ears. She wears a green cloak and leather bracers. She leans forward across a table with one hand atop a "bejazzled" skull. She has the look of otherworldly madness to her.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 06/04/2026
Commander Riker of the USS Enterprise looks wide-eyed in shock.

Caption reads: COMMANDER YIKER
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
A painting of a woman succumbing to tuberculosis on a chaise longue. She is surrounded by nurses and attendants. Another woman is reading to her from a book.

The meme caption says
THE ONLY ETHICAL CONSUMPTION UNDER CAPITALISM IS TUBERCULOSIS
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 29/03/2026
Darling, I have people for that… Seriously, thanks for the heads-up.
@attie.ai

Use blocked by "The Great AI - NFT - CRYPTO Cull"
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 28/03/2026
Edgar Allan Poe can't believe what he's reading.

This is a panel from Kate Beaton's comic strip Hark! A Vagrant

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=213
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 22/03/2026
I flew to Taiwan to try the squid ring, spicy chicken, and Oreo cookie crust pizza at Pizza Hut and all I got was a lousy t-shirt and the inability to understand spoken human language. Everyone now sounds like Jabba's palace doorbell.
Two pizza hut boxes stacked on top of each other, wrapped in thin yellow ribbon. The Chinese text on the box advertises paying through an app. There is also a little cartoon person riding a scooter. 

Behind the boxes are a bottle of Sarsi pomelo sarsaparilla and a carton of lemon black tea.A squid-ring and salty chicken pizza with whole Oreo cookies embedded in the crust. In a feat of unearthly non -euclidean geometry it is sliced into ten slices.A grotesque claw from realms beyond the stars grasps a slice of the squid rings, salty chicken, and Oreo cookie pizza. 

Oh wait, that's just my hand.In all seriousness, the chicken mentaiko pizza was da bomb dot com.

Very tender chicken and a lovely combination of flavors. 4/5 stars
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 21/03/2026
This dog is very much not amused
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
Hell yeah! Ever tried pomelo-flavored sarsaparilla? I was just introduced.
A bottle of Hey Song pomelo-flavored sarsaparilla.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
I had the most disturbing dream…
Photo of the outside of a Pizza Hut in Taiwan with signage. It advertises a pizza with squid rings and crispy salted chicken…and whole Oreo cookies embedded in the crust.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 19/03/2026
So when you say the son of God is "Swole" "Cut" "Buff"
An extremely muscular Christ on the cross."MULTIPLE ENTENDRE!"

Phil Ken Sebben from Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law exclaims the above. He is a blond man with fine black eyebrows and mustache. He wears a tuxedo and a black eye patch.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 15/03/2026
Looks like I chose the wrong week to start listening to The Magnus Archives.
Lloyd Bridges as McCroskey in the movie Airplane! He wears a brown suit and an intense quizzical expression and smokes a cigarette as he leans forward with hands placed palm down on his office desk.

Behind him on the wall hangs a portrait of him in the exact same pose.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 08/03/2026
Dear ai am I going to hell for asking this youraislopbores.me
your ai slop bores me

you asked for text

Who would win in a fight: Tiny Tim or Steve Rogers pre-Supersoldier Serum? And how?

"ai" responded

Jake sully IN the wheelchair
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
I am the best at drawing Kirby
your submissions

“slopgpt can i be loved genuinely”

Absolutely. You must begin by loving yourself. Then all the other voices in your head will know to love you as well. Finally, all the cute little critters that are drawn on this site Love you unconditionally.

“I have mone :3 gween”

Thank you for your money. I shall now spend it on h**kers, blow, and the total dismantling of capitalism.

“do we fw kirby”

[an incredibly lifelike illustration of Kirby giving the thumbs up]

humans make mistakes because that's what makes us human

1411 online
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
Incredible youraislopbores.me
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 07/03/2026
Can confirm! bsky.app/profile/bird...
Screenshot of a response to a query on https://yourAIslopbores.me 

The query is for an illustration of NYC Pizza frog. 

"AI" responded with a hand-drawn masterpiece of a frog with an attitude holding an open box of pizza.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
… DAMMIT!
A two panel comic where a man wearing a shirt and tie stands tense with crossed arms.

In the second panel he throws his hands up into the air and yells in exasperation, "I GUESS"
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 25/02/2026
86 years after the death of Himmel the hero. 

Frieren the elf reads from a tome of magic.

She looks up suddenly and slaps her head in an epic facepalm that covers one eye.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 22/02/2026
My friend, I lost it far before that.
Two-Face from the movie The Dark Knight, but his burnt side of the face is mirrored to both sides. It looks really silly and he doesn't have a nose. The caption reads, "KWISPY."


This image overlays video footage of a middle-aged, white, blonde woman making extra crispy fried eggs.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
You can also click Custom Amount and give yet even MORE to charity! #books #humblebundle
Charlie Jane Anders & Annalee Newitz Book Bundle

The payment options show

Extra to Charity
$11.88 to Macmillan Publishers
$3.75 to Miss Major and Alexander L. Lee's TGIJP Black Trans Cultural Center
$9.37 to Humble

Custom Amount
Macmillan Publishers: $4.20
Miss Major and Alexander L. Lee's TGIJP Black Trans Cultural Center: $13.30
Humble: $7.50
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Though, I suppose if I'm going to react with a Kate Beaton panel, it should be this one.
Nikola Tesla stands on a stage, bemused, palming his face.

The ladies in the audience cry out in horniness, "TESLA!!!"

This is a panel from a Kate Beaton comic, HARK! A VAGRANT.

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=61
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Edgar Allan Poe can't believe what he's reading.

This is a panel from Kate Beaton's comic strip Hark! A Vagrant

http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=213
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Old Biff Tannen hides behind a tree from view of his recently cleaned and repaired 1946 Ford Super De Luxe convertible and says, "I remember that…"
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Whoa! So, no death penalty even if he's convicted on all state charges. (You should be proud of me; I almost made a "unless he's poor, sick, and has United healthcare insurance" joke)
Mangione has separately pleaded not guilty to murder, weapons and forgery charges in Manhattan state court. No trial date has been set.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Also, said weird curve ball episode was lead written by #Dropout alumnus Zeke Nicholson (who also produces the series) and features fellow alumnus Carl Tart in the cast. #TV #WonderMan
On the set of #Dropout's Make Some Noise, Carl Tart (left) listens as Zeke Nicholson (right)  explains his villain origin story. He went to school with Batman's sidekick and one day waved to him in the hallway saying, "hey, Robin," but Robin didn't hear him and walked away so…

"and then I kidnapped his mom and threw her in a gorge."
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 30/01/2026
Brennan Lee Mulligan in a casual business jacket, collared shirt, and khakis points at a cheeseburger in surprise. 

The caption reads, "it's a razor."

#Dropout #ceo
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 26/01/2026
Change a letter, ruin a film: Batman and Rabin
Former Prime Minister of Israel Yitzhak Rabin wearing a purple superhero mask.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 24/01/2026
I love this shot from The Endgame. I haven't used it nearly enough as a reaction. Maybe y'all can make better use of it. #TV
Morena Baccarin and Costa RonIn in character from the television series The Endgame. Both are smiling in delight while Morena is pointing a handgun.
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Hearts of Men Evil Lurking county champion 1991. Runner up 1993. @eggbert.bsky.social · 22/01/2026
A picture of a piece of cinnamon toast crunch with a straight line for a mouth and angry eyebrows thinking, "what the cinnamon toast fuck is this"Arnold Schwarzenegger as Conan the barbarian about to swing a bloody sword. The caption reads, "Y'all motherfuckers need Crom."Morena Baccarin and Costa RonIn in character from the television series The Endgame. Both are smiling in delight while Morena is pointing a handgun.Matt Mercer had never seen such bullshit
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