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Phill Cook

@drphillc.bsky.social
440 followers 167 following 619 posts

Elder statesman of underachievement; brand ambassador for laziness; case study in evolutionary dead ends. Someone once told me I "sound like a fucking Wurzel". This pleased me.

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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I really should have had a wee before painting the bathroom floor.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Unlike patriot Nigel Farage I don't relish the idea of a British brand failing, with thousands of British employees losing their jobs. I wish them well but, sadly, this does all feel like Yardley all over again. For those that don't remember Yardley: www.theguardian.com/business/202...
theguardian.com
Jaguar targets young Americans with Type 01 EV – but it’s too long for UK parking spaces
Latest model is launching in New York to target rich US buyers – and is more than 5.2 metres long and 2 metres wide
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I'm usually an advocate of separating an artist and their art, but a morality story fronted by a scientologist is too rich for my palette. www.theguardian.com/film/2026/oc...
theguardian.com
Tom Cruise’s Digger has flopped spectacularly – but I think it is a misunderstood masterpiece
This article contains spoilers for Digger: Alejandro G Iñárritu’s film may be about to become one of the biggest bombs Hollywood has ever seen – but it is destined to be re-evaluated with time
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
My Henry has come of age. Yes, I have now owned it for long enough that I have lost the little crevice nozzle thing. I am pleased to report that the big head and the little round brush are still both present and correct.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Things I have learnt over the years: It is perfectly acceptable for a short person to ask a tall person to get stuff off the top shelf; but it is not acceptable for a tall person to ask a short person to get stuff from the bottom shelf. Signed, Me (1.93m, doesn't bend well).
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I can't spell, never have been able to. There are many reasons, unrelated to intellect, why people can't spell. However, in my case, it really is just because I am lazy and thick. I console myself that I rarely have anything meaningful to contribute, so no harm done.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Look, I think we're just going to have to pretend to agree that the builder's waste in the backs of those vans definitely came from renovation work happening at the Iranian embassy.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I don't want to come across as "kids of today, eh" but I'm watching University Challenge and it turns out 6 of the nation's finest student minds can't identify an oak (their guess - sycamore), a poplar, an ash, or an elm from pictures of their leaves I'm sure they know shitloads I don't.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
There's a limit to how close two objects can get before electrostatic repulsion, well, repels them. However, when my dog wants to tell me she needs a cuddle or food she's found a way to overcome these fundamental forces and get even closer.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I'm coming round to Sevilla FC for my not-ski trip. The match that weekend is one they're likely to lose (yay!) and, despite having visited Seville many times, I've not convinced the heathens I live with to see Cordoba. Go it alone may be my destiny. And, anyway, RC S's time in LL is short lived.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Just agreed with my son the clubs I am allowed to see when he goes skiing with his mum (I don't ski - tried it, hated it, so I sit this one out every year). I was hoping for Celta but no. Options are RC Santander, D Alaves, Osasuna, or Sevilla.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
The very small canvas of people who will seem him as a martyr for getting arrested will equally claim "this is evidence they're ignoring our cause" if he is not. As fellow hate-merchant Arron Banks famously said after the Grenfell fire "the law is the law". Arrest the fucker.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
There's a stone in my local cemetery (Arnos Vale) that reads "b 1940, d 2018 (aged 78) beloved brother and son". "And son" must imply - surely? - they had at least one parent alive when they died. Aged 78. I am sure it's more common than I think, but I find that remarkable.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Inexperience: This DIY task will take an hour. Pseudo-experience: I've done it before. I know this DIY task will take a day. Actual-experience: I am old enough to be experienced, which means some part of my body will ache during this task. Therefore, it will take 3 days.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
I am not a man to get too involved in a Madrid derby - my affections lie further south. However, today's match reinforces my view that RM is the Tottenham of La Liga - all the players, all the money, fancy stadium. But, still can't win a match against decent opposition.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Ooh, nippy. Time to break out the middle-aged man autumn wardrobe, namely summer shorts on the bottom but winter jumper.on the top.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 17/09/2026
WTF do you mean, "downpipe" isn't a word?
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Reposted by Phill Cook
𝗕𝗮𝗴 𝗼𝗳 𝗦𝘄𝗲𝗲𝘁𝘀🇮🇲 @bagofsweets.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 08/09/2026
Yesterday, Bristol celebrated the end of a near 20 year campaign to get a new door put on its main train station.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Gotta love Betis (even when they lose). Preseason against Arsenal: 3-1 win. La Liga against Real Madrid: 1-0 win. Yet La Liga against Levante: 2-5 loss.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 03/09/2026
Ahh, I see the Daily Mail thinks it's wrong for businesses to be able to remove employees they no longer want easily. That must be why they were such staunch advocates of the Employment Rights Bill. Say what? They wrote piece after piece against it - really? No! www.dailymail.com/sport/footba...
dailymail.com
Footballer, 20, breaks down in floods of tears alongside his mum
He joined Betis aged six, and worked his way through the academy ranks to become a first team regular. He played 33 times for the club in total, scoring six goals - including one last week.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
With one of the three clubs in the game (Real Sociedad) done, I learn what I already suspected: The right thing to do is learn some rudimentary Basque before seeing the other two. I'm as thick as mince with no head for languages. But, dena ematera nago as they (possibly, probably at best) say.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
ChatGPT reality: Yes, the Anoeta is famed for its food options, with many stalls selling pintxos and other regional delicacies. Reality reality: It's Real Sociedad branded crisps or bust.
A blue and white striped packet of Real Sociedad branded crisps. They were perfectly nice crisps but not really the gastronomic orgy ChatGPT had promised.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
With the exception of the ruling family of North Korea, there isn't an animal that doesn't need to poo. My father-in-law says having to pick up dog poo is disgusting, which is why he doesn't have a dog. I agree. It is. But it is less disgusting than hitting a part buried cat poo with a strimmer.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
Well, everything in the article may be true but I quit when their CEO started doing publicity shots with Nigel Farage. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...
theguardian.com
Problems brewing for the proper pint as Camra membership falls
Cost of living has hit campaign group while multinational breweries are threatening to squeeze out independents
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 24/08/2026
The rat in the compost bin understands the rules: You stay there, we're good. You decide to change lanes and head for the house: Our relationship will quickly sour. Out will come the Nutella and traps. Let's hope the mice that have just moved in upstairs in the workshop understand this too.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
Meh. Arrive home from a day out at Stamford Bridge (not as nice a stadium as I'd expected) to find a letter from my old undergrad uni. Their outreach algorithm has decided I am now old enough to be fodder for "would you like to leave us money in your will?" spam. No, no I wouldn't is the answer.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 15/08/2026
I'm a neutral here but so far I'd say Sociedad is creating kore chances. 1-1 HT. Good game.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
27 years. 27 years of "why are you keeping that crap?" washed away as I smuggly return old faithful to the shelf for safe storage until 2081.
The RGO book of the 1999 solar eclipse in the UK, a book that was surprisngly long for an event that could be adeqately summed up "the moon is going to pass in front of the sun and make it dark for a bit", and two contemporaneous pairs of solar viewing glasses.

p.s. In all.seriousness, it is likely unwise to continue using these glasses. They never did afford modern standards of protection outside of the visible spectrum - IR and UV eye damage is serious too - and the films only had a shirt shelf life.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
I've just had the back door open to allow the dog in and out as she seeks shade. At the same time, I've been boiling up some chicken breasts as she's too posh just to eat kibble. What I'm saying is: If you're in Bristol and wondering where all the flies have gone, they're in my kitchen.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 05/08/2026
Good.
A giant scoreboard at the Aviva stadium in Dublin, showing that Real Betis has won its pre-season friendly against Arsenal. A handful of Arsenal supporters are leaving their seats below the sign.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Rain. Beautiful, torrential, overflowing-the-gutter rain. Welcome back my friend.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 04/08/2026
Lots of "Americans are so insular" stuff here yest. Reminds me of the meme in the 00s of doorstepping USs in the street to find Austria on a map or name the capital of Slovenia or wvr. They couldn't, in exactly the same way as I bet the avg European couldn't find Idaho, or name the state cap of WY.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
This is Blue. She's just won 3rd place at the Umberleigh village fete dog show - dog with the waggiest tail category. Never more proud. Great foundations to build on for next year.
A picture of an award winning black cocker spaniel sitting and panting in a sunny field.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
We're painting the inside of our front door. We've chosen one of those colours that is indiscernible from white but has its own name, so is 5x the price of white.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
I have had the pleasure of removing maybe a dozen toilets in my life. Learning: It's not as gross as you think. I've just had to remove my first SaniFlo. Learning: F*ck me that's gross., much MUCH worse than I could possibly have imagined.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
#AllAboutSpainInASongOrMovie Mamma Mia! Here Vigo Again!
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
This spring half term my wife had to travel somewhere very exotic. For reasons we couldn't join. Rather than mooch around at home I levelled up and took my son to see Real Madrid at the Bernabeu while she was away. This made me the best dad ever, and hated by my wife. We don't mention it.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 19/07/2026
No win for Argentina. No golden boot for Messi. They leave with what they deserve. Well played Spain!!!!
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 16/07/2026
This is Penguino. As you can tell, he is Spanish and loves football. "So, why the sad face?" I hear you ask. Well, Penguino had his heart set on Spain thrashing England 27-0 in the final. Sadly it is not to be. Next time Penguino, next time. For now, just enjoy Spain beating Argentina.
A stuffed toy penguin wearing a Real Madrid bandana.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
If anyone needs a case study in how social media works, yesterday's fact-cherry-picking villification of Harry Kane and attendant linking of Erling Haaland to the 2nd coming on here, mostly by people who had never heard of either of them, is a perfect example.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 12/07/2026
Jude Bellingham has now reached the point where, if he comes round, I'll happily make him a cup of tea in my favourite mug. Anyway, TFFT.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 29/06/2026
In 1000 years they'll dig me up, compare my right and left shoulders, and conclude I did a lot of archery. Nope. I just have a cocker spaniel that is mildly keen on getting to the next place on our daily walk.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
I'll tell you what's sneaky - the way they've moved the send button the Outlook for Android client and put the Copilot button where it used to be. I'm not antagonistic about AI (by Bluesky's standards) but no, no, tricking my muscle memory is just an annoyance, not an opportunity.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 17/06/2026
My long held view: Bellingham ia a bit of a lazy fucker who spends most of his time mooching around looking at the ball from a safe distance. However, that's always offset by 30 seconds of pure magic that leaves your jaw on the floor and turns a game around. Love him. Anyway, job done. Phew.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 08/06/2026
Eroticism, 50 something woodworker style
A picture of a router bit catalogue (I've recently capitulated on my hand tool absolutism and let a palm router into the workshop) and a nice mug of tea.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 05/06/2026
We have a cleaner (I know, la-di-dah) and I didn't know she was here this morning. Slightly awkward moment as I started shouting "Are you a bad girl? Are you? Are you? Come over here for a cuddle!" to the dog from the other end of the garden. You can fill in all the blanks.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 02/06/2026
There used to be a guy in Bristol who cycled up Wells Road on a bike welded to the top of another bike. I pulled up next to him many times on my fixed road bike but never said hello, told him how cool I thought it was, or asked why. Should time travel become a thing, correcting this is on my list.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Ahh, the joy. The president of my old unfergraduate university has invited me to dinner with people I haven't spoken to for 30 years (presumably for good reason), so that we might passively-aggressively compare postcodes, property sizes and which schools our offspring go to, etc.
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Phill Cook @drphillc.bsky.social · 27/05/2026
Just come back from Seville - pilgrimage to see Betis's last game of the season - and all the plants in the garden have either doubled in size or died.
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