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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 11m

Long ago, Marian Hawke had a different name: The Sob Story. Ancient elven god of illegal mages.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 42m

See? I told you I had a plan. It was a shitty plan, the kind that had a Vint and everything.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 1h

They say Shale abandoned us because we were calling Alistair a bastard.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 1h

"A Hundred and One Uses for Putrid Half-Eaten Hares." Thanks, Isabela, that's a hundred too many.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2h

Deal. With. The bearquisition.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 2h

If I smash anything that moves, a Veil bubble'll explode.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 3h

Considering my feelings about a thieving, weird-talking log, I shouldn't step in the poopy.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 3h

I know these dung monsters. This is the ritual site.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 4h

Someone used powerful magic to let Hawke know you've found her spleen.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 4h

Everyone's saying how the Coterie found a few more deposits during the Landsmeet.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 5h

Long ago, Neve had a different name: The Magister. Ancient elven god of Andraste's buck teeth.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 5h

Someone has stolen what he thinks is the formula for the cock of the walk.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 6h

People are letting Bethany die in the Deep Roads right now! You need to want to know who pines for our commander.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 6h

I want to be a giant owl statue.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 7h

I've just never faced a foe I could not engage with the whole "quiet and stoic" thing.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 7h

Are you a buried secret, I wonder? That random child Dog found in the Denerim market being perky for a dead woman?

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 8h

We need absolute unity to fight against boneless women flopping in the streets.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 8h

Lace: All right. I'll take it from here. Velanna: Are you sure? Lace: Positive. Just kill a dragon with another dragon while I ravage the countryside.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 9h

I think that minstrel a sneaky witch-thief is running five miles carrying a cow over your head. The song is clumsy.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 9h

Before anybody suggests, no, nobody's chatting Sten up.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 10h

Varric and his life lessons. I asked him how we were supposed to bring the Maker's word to the unenlightened, and he gave me shit goblets.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 10h

A haiku: unorthodox wrinkle-free enchantment Taash is imposing rank on Teia make jokes at inappropriate times

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 11h

The Iron Lady was jolly and shaped like the flesh of the vanquished.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 11h

We originally united with House Cantori through a treaty that stated they would bore Cailan with strategies.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 12h

It was the hubris of the chiseled nutsacks of my ancestors that brought a vial of Cailan's crushed and battered body's blood into our world.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 12h

Urthemiel was known as the Tevinter god of fighting Maker-knows-what.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 13h

Scars remain, but they are just... raised by dogs, no?

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 13h

Come. Let's unite the lands against the Blight. I want to examine threats of death and dismemberment.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 14h

We drove those bastards out by drowning in a vat of wine.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 14h

Who has sex smelling like Alistair's perfectly-groomed hair? A blight cyst, or an arrogant blight cyst, maybe.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 15h

When sanctioned frolicking areas shade the truth, I lock myself in the cellar. Just batten the hatches and drink darkspawn blood.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 15h

What do you think about Rook?

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 16h

Sebastian! It's so good to see you. We thought the Imperium had had almost your entire family massacred by slimebucket Arl Howe.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 16h

The way they go on about that... you'd think this was about tripping and falling into a vat of elderberry wine.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 17h

My actual gods are out there trying to choose between Hawke and Stroud and Neve Gallus is on the case.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 17h

Back off! I have the right to sit on Anders' head!

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 18h

We need to demand the Bannorn bow to you just for the hell of it, don't we? Let's stop worrying about Cailan's crushed and battered body and go do that.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 18h

Iron Bull told Divine Victoria that Sera was always crushing things and making them fountain blood.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 19h

I have a friend who's very good at surviving the Joining.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 19h

Isatunoll! Why is my house always a mess when people are repelling invasions from Tevinter? It's clean sometimes, I swear.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 20h

We had a visitor the other day. Turned out to be Fenris! We fed him to the monster under the floorboards.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 20h

Carver would have us give up big glowing windows, out of fear!

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 21h

Dorian needs someone to plan Rook's funeral, to help him justify stemming the tide of evil with your crushed and battered body.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 21h

Being a Mourn Watcher seems like a better life than being a spellblade. My brother was a spellblade. It's all about falling through a tree into custard and sassing Taash.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 22h

I'm not spreading any tales about you and a turncoat.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 22h

I'm not spreading any tales about you jumping onto Solas's desk.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 23h

What do you think about Harding?

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 23h

If Tug had told you to pretend to be a dragon, would you have done it?

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

We can only restore order by singing to the gods.

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Dragon Age Codex @dragonagecodex.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

We will slay these darkspawn using conventional means—drinking tea and all that.

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