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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 31m

After spending some time in the company of a handsome sun-burnt young film star in Hollywood: "Ah yes. His is the hue of availability." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 2h

Of Elmer Rice: "Without question the worst fuck I ever had." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 3h

Telegram sent to two friends who had been living together and then got married: "WHAT'S NEW?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 4h

On finding herself a guest at a private house: "I knew it would be terrible. Only I didn't think it would be as bad as this. This isn't just plain terrible; this is fancy." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 5h

There always must be some kind of hitch. Isn't nature (finish this line for yourself and get a year's subscription to the Boston Post). #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 6h

Nickname for Alexander Woollcott's New York apartment: "Wit's End." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 7h

George Sand What time the gifted lady took Away from paper, pen, and book, She spent in amorous dalliance (They do those things so well in France.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 8h

George Sand What time the gifted lady took Away from paper, pen, and book, She spent in amorous dalliance (They do those things so well in France.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 9h

Coda There's little in taking or giving There's little in water or wine; This living, this living, this living Was never a project of mine. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10h

Summary Every love's the love before In a duller dress. That's the measure of my lore - Here's my bitterness: Would I knew a little more, Or very much less! #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 11h

Oh, I said it all right. You know how it is. A joke. When people expect you to say things, you say things. Isn't that the way it is? #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 12h

"Whatever is, is good" - your gracious creed. You wear your joy of living like a crown. Love lights your simplest gift of all - a friend. Your shining loyalty unflecked by doubt You ask but leave to follow to the end (Couldn't you wait until I took you out?) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 13h

On returning by boat from Spain: "The crossing was so rough the only thing I could keep on my stomach was the First Mate." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 14h

On her pregnancy: "It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 15h

Charles Dickens Who call him spurious and shoddy Shall do it o'er my lifeless body. I heartily invite such birds To come outside and say those words! #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 16h

To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?" "Do you?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 17h

Of her second husband: "Oh, don't worry about Alan. Alan will always land on somebody's feet." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 18h

As I was saying to the landlord only this morning, "You can't have everything." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 19h

Hemmingway avoids New York, for he has the most valuable asset an artist can possess - the fear of what he knows is bad for him. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 20h

To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?" "Do you?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 22h

To Sam Goldwyn, who asked her at dinner: "Do you really say all those things which the papers report that you say?" "Do you?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

On being asked if she was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous : "Certainly not. They'd want me to stop now." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke: And that, I think, is worse. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Of a play by Channing Pollock: "The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece: "Someone was using the pencil." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Telegram sent to two friends who had been living together and then got married: "WHAT'S NEW?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch! #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

When the New Yorker editor, Harold Ross, asked her why she hadn't been to the office during the week to write her usual piece: "Someone was using the pencil." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

...Why is it no one ever sent me yet One perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's just my luck to get One perfect rose. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Did I enjoy the party? One more drink and I'd have been under the host. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Observation If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Of a mongrel: "All too obviously, it was the living souvenir of a mother who had never been able to say no." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

To a neighbour who tolder her her dog was a female: "I always call dogs 'he'. It don't do to notice everything." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Asked what she did for fun: "Everything that isn't writing is fun." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Paying her last respects to Scott Fitzgerald as eh lay in an undertaker's parlor in Los Angeles, and quoting the words of a mourner at the funer of Jay Gatsby: "The poor son-of-a-bitch!" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952: Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment? #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence: "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

On being told at a Halloween party that people were ducking for apples: "There, but for a single consonant, is the story of my life." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Two Volume Novel The sun's gone dim, and The moon's turned black; For I loved him, and He didn't love back. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Social Note Lady, lady, should you meet One whose ways are all discreet, One who murmurs that his wife Is the lodestar of his life, One who keeps assuring you That he never was untrue, Never loved another one... Lady, lady, better run. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Of her second husband: "Oh, don't worry about Alan. Alan will always land on somebody's feet." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

People ought to be one of two things, young or old. No - what's the use of fooling? People ought to be one of two things, young or dead. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952: Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment? #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Ballade at Thirty-Five ...Princes, never I'd give offense, Won't you think of me tenderly? Here's my strength and my weakness, gents - I loved them until they loved me. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

On seeing a worn-out toothbrush in their hostess's bathroom: Fellow guest: "Whatever do you think she does with that?" DP: "I think she rides it on Halloween." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door". #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

John Huston is doing something called, very simply, The Bible. Now you must admit that's a big job. I think he's going to stop with Moses because he can't stand another moment - he is playing Moses, you see. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words: "If you can read this, you've come too close." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" : "Presents." #DorothyParker #Parker

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