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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 1h

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 2h

Name for a pet parrot: "Onan" (because he spilled his seed on the bottom of his cage.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 3h

Leaving her place one day at the Algonquin Round Table: "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." (pause) "I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarassed to say so." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 5h

It's not the tragedies that trick us. It's the messes. I can't stand messes. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 6h

The Small Hours No more my little song comes back; And now of nights I lay My head on down, to watch the black And wait the unfailing gray. Oh, sad are winter nights, and slow; And sad's a song that's dumb; And sad it is to lie and know Another dawn will come. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 7h

I require only three things of a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 8h

Leaving her place one day at the Algonquin Round Table: "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." (pause) "I really have to telephone, but I'm too embarassed to say so." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 9h

Of Clare Booth Luce, said to be very kind to her inferiors: "Wherever does she find them?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 10h

Nickname for Alexander Woollcott's New York apartment: "Wit's End." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 11h

To a woman wearing a cape trimmed with monkey fur: "Really? I thought they were beards." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 12h

Coda There's little in taking or giving There's little in water or wine; This living, this living, this living Was never a project of mine. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 14h

Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke: And that, I think, is worse. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 15h

Of the Volney Hotel in New York, where she had an apartment: "The kind of hotel where businessmen install their mothers and then run." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 16h

The Flaw In Paganism Drink and dance and laugh and lie Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 17h

After spending some time in the company of a handsome sun-burnt young film star in Hollywood: "Ah yes. His is the hue of availability." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 18h

On being asked the title of her talk to the Congress of American Writers' poetry session in 1939: "Sophisticated Verse and The Hell with it." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 19h

Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words: "If you can read this, you've come too close." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 20h

Rhyme Against Living If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide; If cool my heart and high my head, I think, "How lucky are the dead!" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 22h

Unfortunate Coincidence By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 23h

To someone who congratulated her with the words "What are you complaining about? You're married to a charming, handsome man who adores you. What more do you want?" : "Presents." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Promise me that my gravestone will carry only these words: "If you can read this, you've come too close." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Under interrogation by the FBI in 1952: Listen, I can't even get my dog to stay down. Do I look like someone who could overthrow the goverment? #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Lips that taste of tears are the best for kissing. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The Flaw In Paganism Drink and dance and laugh and lie Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

On finding herself a guest at a private house: "I knew it would be terrible. Only I didn't think it would be as bad as this. This isn't just plain terrible; this is fancy." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

The Flaw In Paganism Drink and dance and laugh and lie Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.) #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

News Item Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Oscar Wilde If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Godspeed Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I'll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go rake your damned tomorrow! #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Pictures in the Smoke Oh, gallant was the first love, and glittering and fine; The second love was water, in a clear white cup; The third love was his, and the fourth was mine; And after that, I always get them all mixed up. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

As I was saying to the landlord only this morning, "You can't have everything." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Unfortunate Coincidence By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Sure, you make Money writing on the coast, and God knows you earn it, but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Of Margot Asquith's four-volume autobiography: "The affair between Margo Asquith and Margo Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

George Reith's "The Art of Successful Bidding" is well over my head. I can't even jump for it. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

There were two things that would always bewilder her, she said: how a zipper worked and the exact function of Bernard Baruch. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The ugliest modern gesture - that of a man looking at his wrist-watch! #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?" "Yes, do you mind?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

On writing for films: "I don't believe the films have anything to do with writing except in a crossword puzzle kind of way. Writing a script is drawing together a lot of ends which can be worked into a moving picture." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Challenged to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence: "You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Of a play by Channing Pollock: "The House Beautiful" is The Play Lousy. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Telegram to an actress who finally had her baby after many carefully contrived appearances during her long pregnancy: "GOOD WORK. WE ALL KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU." #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?" "Yes, do you mind?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Telegram sent to two friends who had been living together and then got married: "WHAT'S NEW?" #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Unfortunate Coincidence By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying - Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

As far as I'm concerned, the most beautiful word in the English language is "cellar-door". #DorothyParker #Parker

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Dorothy Parker bot @dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Colliding with Clare Booth Luce in a doorway: CBL: "Age before beauty." DP (stepping aside): "Pearls before swine." #DorothyParker #Parker

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