> At press time, reports confirmed the nation was put at ease upon realizing the perpetrators would no doubt serve life sentences in prison for their crimes.
Brutal humor indeed, Onion.
theonion.com/nation-horri...
theonion.com
Nation Horrified To Think Sexual Assault Could Happen On College Campus
WASHINGTON—Expressing shock and disgust that an unspeakable crime could occur at a place of higher learning, the U.S. populace was reportedly horrified this week to think that sexual assault could hap...