Sign in

therealWokeKong

@donkeykonga.bsky.social
668 followers 182 following 16K posts

ooooh banana

PostsRepliesMedia
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 1h
Bobby Kotick? The guy who covered up sexual assault at Blizzard? That Bobby Kotick?
000
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 10h
We won’t be putting Benny in the gulags we’ll need him as one of our court jesters
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 10h
Everyone’s already pointed out that Elliott Page is in one of the biggest movies of the year but I find it really funny he posted this just a day before this happened
170
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 11h
Do you really think Elon or Zuckerberg or Altman want to use this to improve our lives? No, they just want our money. And the last frontier that has yet to be locked behind a paywall is the human brain
041
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 11h
It’s cringey tech-optimism that feels stuck in 2010. At the end of the day these are plagiarism machines created by massive corporations run by neofascists that seek to suck out our very ability to think and create so they can sell it back to us for a premium price.
1151
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 16h
Getting real tired of MCU-style endings man
3340
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 17h
Good to see he lost some weight. Not so good to see he just walks around naked now
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 17h
If someone talks to me about my hobby and uses the phrase “return on investment” I’m bashing their head in with an aluminum baseball bat. It’s not supposed to be an “investment” it’s for FUN. I do it because I LIKE IT.
1223
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 17h
Do you think people waited to see if there was a post-commercials scene
030
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 18h
We coulda got Sonic Mania 2 but instead we got two crummy games: Sonic Superstars and Penny’s Big Breakaway
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
I’ve seen conflicting stuff on Stranger than Heaven. Some people say his family gave their approval, others are saying it’s just that one fuckass Warner executive who somehow got control over the estate
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
That’s the real Yuji Naka btw they let him use discord in jail
25612
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
It’s crazy cause this could be so many games right now. Metroid Prime 4, Yakuza Kiwami 3, Wolverine, Bayonetta 3
130
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
I like how the chart is clearly formatted to think “oh AI really is the future” then you look at the y axis and only 2% of people are actually paying for this shit
1100
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
The Nintendo PlayCast 64 was a classic I spent hours playing Crash Adventure Kart
050
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 20h
You gotta wonder how Sonic as a brand has even survived this long with how bad they are at managing everything related to it
1120
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 23h
Dude went to speak to a bunch of corn farming hicks and said “god I wish millions of Americans were dead” and the first thing the press does is go oh we don’t really know what he meant by that but if you say “I wish china blew up Nebraska” they’d put your head on a pike
1133
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Everyone is saying Hello, Mario but nobody’s saying Hello, Super Mario Titans 😒
060
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Coupled with how often both Xbox and Playstation’s online services have been going down it might accelerate a gaming crash and cause a lot of people to just stop playing new games, especially when popular titles launch and everyone’s online playing them
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
You’re being too optimistic. Companies will likely just remove both physical and digital ownership altogether and force you to stream stuff. Wanna play a single player game? Better hope your internet doesn’t go out, cause you have to play via the cloud now. Netflix, but for software
140
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Primetime: 5/5 This movie does such a good job at breaking down the psyche of the actual Chris Hansen, and how the entire show to him was less journalism and more just spectacle to make him famous. Both Pattinson and Gisondo are so good in this, especially how they mimic Hansen’s dialect
000
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Rhythm Heaven Groove: 4/5 It’s a fun little game that’s probably best played in increments, since it’s pretty difficult at times and each minigame is made to be replayed over and over again. The ranking feels a little off to me, but the music and art really stand out
110
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Wonder what cup size your average dairy cow wears
100
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Imagine being a US sailor stuck on a ship somewhere in the Indian Ocean and the president goes on TV and says if Iran blew up your entire family he’d be fine with it
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Dare I say they are braver than anyone in uniform
070
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
He does know that the pacific fleet is based out of San Diego right
260
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
“What would Hitler do” kill himself
0172
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
0370
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Average Sega fan trying to complete the Yoshi maze
0200
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Scalping by a major retailer this shit SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS
000
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
God I fucking hate GameStop
131
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
*taking fat bong rip that absolutely annihilates my trachea* no, MOM, you don’t get it I’m not a lazy stoner I’m a high IQ man with ADHD
080
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Missed chance to rip his beanie off and expose what Mr Pool doesn’t want us to see
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Tariff refund came in the mail
190
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
At least this guy actually put effort into his fake graffiti
1621
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
If things are bad for them now, I can’t imagine how bad things’ll be a month from now
000
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
9% of people polled on George W Bush were Hank Hill in various different disguises
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I am once again asking you to assist in our cause to throw every Fox News host, past and present, in the gulags
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Y’know on the bright side the Paramount buyout won’t ruin Cartoon Network because Zaslav already turned that place into a smoldering crater where hopes and dreams go to die
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Side note wtf is this dude’s profile picture
2350
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Which movie is more likely to never come out: The Batman 2 or Beyond the Spider-Verse
130
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Robert Pattinson taking all these new roles cause he only gets 5 minutes on set at The Batman 2 a week
010
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
People talking about the Japanese like they’ve been stuck on that island for thousands of years with no contact when Kojima is a leftist Americaboo with a Che Guevara poster, and the entire Metroid series was inspired by the Alien films to the point they even named the arch antagonist Ridley
61161
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
This is like describing Al Capone as “Former Chicago businessman and philanthropist who was jailed for tax fraud”
063
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Banjo-Kazooie and F-Zero fans could only dream of being as miserable as your average Halo fan
350
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I don’t think there’s a fanbase that has been treated worse than Halo fans
1254
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
I’ve seen enough, bring back the insane asylums
060
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
You’re gonna love the Cocomelon movie I can tell
0160
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
They could at least have had the decency to sew all the parts back together
020
therealWokeKong @donkeykonga.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Look I get that the modern attention span is pretty short but I literally JUST said that Epstein helped shape the modern anti-trans movement which Rowling is a key part of And this may be shocking, but she wrote that story. HP fans making those drawings are funding her crusade, she said it herself
0210